LittleTiger Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Except schooling has an end.... If he worked 100 hours a week and had no intention of ever stopping I wouldn't appreciate that either. But it is school!!! For a better future for BOTH parties. Are you saying you couldn't even be patient enough for a few years with the man you intended on spending the rest of your life with . That's not romantic, you're right. It's dedication. Striving for a better life. My ex is getting his Masters. But when we were together I NEVER bitched at him for studying from sun up to sun down and living in the library. I tried to make this stressful point in his life less stressful and encouraged him to enjoy what ever free time he could squeeze out. Given that I've waited almost four years to be with the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with (we're LDR), no I'm not saying I wouldn't be patient. I'm one of the most patient people in the world! I was talking about Robert's situation specifically and the only details we have are those he posted here. He didn't feel appreciated for working those long hours, his wife clearly wasn't happy with it - so they were mismatched and are no longer together. There was no time frame suggested and no indication of how their marriage operated other than his 100-120 hrs a week. Without the details I can't 'guess' at any more than that. Just because it is a future for both parties, doesn't make it ok if the other person in the partnership doesn't value the same future. It has to be mutually agreed and if one person isn't happy it's not going to work. 1
LittleTiger Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Not this woman. Flowers wilt and die. I prefer experiences over "things". Me too - 'hearts and flowers' is just a figure of speech!
sweetkiwi Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Me too - 'hearts and flowers' is just a figure of speech! Ah okay. You kinda scared me with the gender talk, "Women want hearts and flowers and men want sex". Personally I'd prefer sex. But I may or may not be a man . 1
therhythm Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Ah okay. You kinda scared me with the gender talk, "Women want hearts and flowers and men want sex". Personally I'd prefer sex. But I may or may not be a man . Ohh I rather prefer the flowers :lmao: 2
sweetkiwi Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Ohh I rather prefer the flowers :lmao: Awesome, I'll buy you dead stuff and you can hurt me :love:. Romance at its finest. 2
LittleTiger Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Ah okay. You kinda scared me with the gender talk, "Women want hearts and flowers and men want sex". Personally I'd prefer sex. But I may or may not be a man . Me too! But this is supposed to be a 'general' discussion.
sweetkiwi Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Me too! But this is supposed to be a 'general' discussion. Ah!! Well generally speaking I find it romantic when my man wakes up early to make me iced coffee and a frittata. Or puts on my favorite music even if he hates it. Like Robert said earlier, I think acts of love are romantic. 1
Els Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Ah okay. You kinda scared me with the gender talk, "Women want hearts and flowers and men want sex". Personally I'd prefer sex. But I may or may not be a man . I want AAALLLLLL of it! :D I know, I know, I'm a greedy beeyotch... 3
Got it Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 I say men. Otherwise women would romance men, right? But nooooo! We men are expected to stand below your window and serenade you by moonlight! I get so tired of that!!! I think we often have very different ideas about what constitutes romance. I knew a woman who got all hot when she realized that her new boyfriend [living together] had build shelves in the garage. I might have gone for something more like a flowers, a nice candlelight dinner with romantic music, and an intimate evening filled with passion. But shelves in the garage did it for her. I understand that he was thinking of her and she appreciated that. But there was also a certainly practical utility in this that she expressed. It made me consider that passion isn't the only thing that can excite a woman. Sometimes it can be far more practical. I think everyone has a different love language so different strokes for different folks regardless of gender. But I have absolutely wooed a man. I like to wow, so with my husband when we first started I set the bar on our trips and surprised him with a trip to wine country, staying at a very nice b & b, lovely dinner out, and seducing him. I also surprised him with trip for New Years, at a very nice place and tickets to a big party. He has surprised me with many trips as well and we take turn being "eye candy". It's a fun little competition where we are both winners. 3
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 What school were you going to that required you to be at school ALL day? As a full time student myself I am only on campus 4 days a week. Sure I study, but no way in hell am I up until 2 every night and awake by six. My man worked and went to school with me, we only got nights together, but I can tell you right now I felt super special because as SOON as he was done with work it was home with me, and if he needed to study it was with me laying next to him. Not to mention the fact that I became his escape from everything, and it feels good to know that your partner even though exhausted and stressed, feels the most at ease and happiest when with you. I wouldn't deal with being ignored, no matter how hard he was working for US.
Els Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 What school were you going to that required you to be at school ALL day? As a full time student myself I am only on campus 4 days a week. Well, some that I can think of involve certain medical schools, as well as PhD candidates in certain fields. Especially in the USA, I think there is a lot of pressure on grad students - a friend of mine is doing her Biology PhD there, and probably spends about 60 hours a week in the labs, including some weekends. Which is very different from 100, but still. It's a far cry from being an undergrad. Still doesn't mean that everyone is going to consider it 'romantic' to do so, though, you're right about that.
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Well, some that I can think of involve certain medical schools, as well as PhD candidates in certain fields. Especially in the USA, I think there is a lot of pressure on grad students - a friend of mine is doing her Biology PhD there, and probably spends about 60 hours a week in the labs, including some weekends. Which is very different from 100, but still. It's a far cry from being an undergrad. Still doesn't mean that everyone is going to consider it 'romantic' to do so, though, you're right about that. 60 hours sounds more likely... I just cannot fathom what schooling would require 100-120 hours!
Got it Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 What I find romantic is WHENEVER he shows by actions that he is really thinking of me and doing something FOR ME. This can be something utilitarian around the home, very much so. It can be something sexual, or a very thoughtful gift. If it's our anniversary or my birthday and he runs down to Safeway to buy me a bunch of flowers wrapped in cheesy cellophane, I find it less romantic than if he pressure washes the outside of the chicken coop because he knows I've been beating myself up for weeks for not getting to it. Seriously. What about getting the flowers and the chicken coop cleaned? You jumping his bones? 1
sweetkiwi Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 What about getting the flowers and the chicken coop cleaned? You jumping his bones? Yeah. After a shower in disinfectant .
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