tropicman Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 (edited) Hi all I recently broke up with my girlfriend 2 weeks ago after being together for 9 months. I first met this girl years ago and always have wanted her but she had a boyfriend at the time so I respected that and never tried anything. A year or so went by of me not seeing her then on a night out I bumped into her and instantly got butterflies we had a dance and stuff and began texting that week where she told me she had butterflies that night in which I told her I did to. anyways we got together and we were perfect I'd go over to her house two or three times a week and weekends and it was gojng so good she got me to move In so she could see me more which I agreed to , months went by and we were a still perfect and we were even trying for a baby for a good 2 months and talking about marriage and how in love we was and how she never had someone who treated her the way I did. but towards the end she went camping with her family without me and she told me she was having doubts when returned saying I was to controlling and that she didn't know where her head was but we tried to carry on and most days were perfect like normal just the odd one day say if she went out with her friends she would come home and tell me she didn't know where her head was , it was her birthday in the last 3 weeks of the relationship and I spent over 600 pounds on her took her away for a few days and she was even calling me uncle to her nieces and nephews and we were fine again by when we got back she went out with her friends again and boom she ht me with it that she needed to be on her own because she didn't know where her head was. it's been 2 weeks since we broke up and we text odd days she's going out all the time but when we did break up she told me she still loves me but she just couldn't be in a relationship atm and that she needed to sort her head out , just don't know what to do I have to go back to her house to et some of my stuff and drop her DVDs off which I bought for her birthday she also said she will probs want me back but needs time for herself I just love this girl with all my heart and want her back more than anything. Advice would be great cheers. Edited July 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Added paragraphs, please use them in the future
theonlyjuan Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 I wouldn't like to be treated like a doormat You either want to be with someone, or you don't. Make her decide, don't let her mess you about. You obviously love her so it might be hard to reason with you. I would say to try and move on and forget her. Easy for me to say that, I am not emotionally invested like you.
Author tropicman Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 But her saying stuff like that and that she wants to hang out sometimes makes me think that she does still love me but just is unsure about us be wouldn't hanging out increase the chance of a relationship again?
theonlyjuan Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Well my ex still wants to be friends and said she would be sad if she couldn't. Bad news for her, she is going to have to wait until I am ready. You will never recover if you go about it the way you are. Start to move on now, if she changes her mind then deal with it then. Don't keep thinking there is a chance, you might be in for a huge disappointment 1
aloneinaz Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Look at the underlying message she's sending you. She doesn't want to be with you right now and want to date/have sex with others. She also doesn't care that she's letting you go out and screw others as well. You don't do this to someone you love. Period. I like this girl I've been seeing for almost a month. I wouldn't want her to even THINK about going on another date w/someone else. If I was in love with her, do you think I'd dump her and tell her maybe at a later time we can hook back up, knowing I'm risking losing her to someone else forever?? Nah, you need to move on. You'll never heal and find someone else if you cling to hope that this person may want you back when she's done sowing her oats or can't find anything better. Don't be a door matt. Have some dignity and get your stuff back and go NC..
TaraMaiden Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 tropicman, give it up, move on. She tried to let you down gently, gave you hits about moving on... So go No Contact (read my signature/link on No Contact - it's considered THE definitive Guide, around here...!) and follow it to the absolute letter. It's not a device designed to get her back. I'll repeat that, in case you think otherwise: The No Contact Guide is NOT designed to get your ex- back. It's to help you heal and move on. Which is your one and only option, right now. 1
Author tropicman Posted July 28, 2013 Author Posted July 28, 2013 I just don't know what to do because I really love this girl and want to try win her back but cos I know there was no one else or anything like that it was purely cos she wanted space to figure out what she wanted but I know moving on would be the best option in case I'm trying to fight and loosing battle.
TaraMaiden Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 So you've read the Guide, have you? In that case, you'll know why they offer to remain friends. You'll know it's for them, not you. Why? Well, as you've obviously followed advice and read the guide, do I need to tell you?? READ - THE - GUIDE!! It TELLS you what you need to do! 2
groupergirl Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 The one thing I got from the No Contact guide, it is not designed to get the Ex back. It is designed to help me or others to move forward with dignity. Seriously, if someone loves you or wants to be with you, they will show you. I refuse to break the No Contact. I can't. One thing I know, my ex does not want me back. He left me for someone else. I have never struggled with the No Contact, I have struggled with the part that I was essentially dumped and badly I might add. For everyone here that thinks the No Contact is somehow designed to punish the person that doesn't love you anymore, that is crazy. I saw the flags in this relationship and I did not heed them and that is my fault. I think I am more upset with myself than I am with the ex. Good luck everyone. Please No Contact, don't give the ex more of a reason to justify not being with you. Move on with class. 6
Author tropicman Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 Well Tomo I'm going to her house where we lived together to get the rest of my things , so yeah I'm guna move on but it's just the way she says stuff like one min if she's on her own she will tell me what she's doing when I never even asked so I'm not guna let her play mind games with me after I get my stuff I'm not going to text her or contact her again , I have to go back another time when her DVDs I ordered for her come to drop them off and that will be the only time I will have contact with her again and I've already hidden her from my Facebook and I'm guna delete her number also after this.
Author tropicman Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 Well I made the mistake of agreeing to be friends and stuff and saying that I will always be here for her whenever , but when I go the final time I am guna tell her that I can't be friends with the girl I want to be with and spend the rest of my life with and just leave it as that. I check her fb often also which I shouldn't and got drunk on Saturday and ended up liking a photo of us when we were happy which she didn't take to well so I need to get a grip and sort myself out.
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