rastamoose Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 I don't know what to do any more. I really hate my life and I am getting to the point where I want to give up completely. From a very young age I have always had problems. I don't remember much about being a child but I do remember some things that were said to me. My Dad once told me that I was going to be no use to anyone. That really hurt, I know he maybe didn't mean it but it has stuck with me. I remember my Mum telling me that I was a failure. I never did well at school. I have never had any ambition to be anything. I have always had low confidence in myself. I quit my driving lessons 3 years ago because I had no confidence. I always remember those things that my Mum and Dad said to me. I work in a store now, I hate it. Most of my friends are doing so much more than me. I still live at home at the age of 26. Quite a few people do because it;s expensive to move out around here. My hair is thinning and this is not doing my confidence any good. I had a girlfriend that I had since I was 19 it lasted almost 7 years. It was great for the first few years but the last few went down hill. In the end she told me she was a lesbian. I got myself another girlfriend shortly after. She was very pretty and so nice. That has now ended, she didn't fall in love with me and thought it was unfair to let it go on like that. I just have no ambition to be anything. I can't even keep a relationship going any more. The fact that my ex didn't love me really hurts. I just feel so unloved and completely useless. My parents were right. I just don't seem to be able to break out of this. If I was given the chance to die, without it being seen as suicide I would honestly take it. I keep thinking about ways that I could disappear. I'm not selfish enough to do it because it would upset my family. I just feel that I don't have any fight left in me. I'm really lonely, my sister moved out. I'm not close to my parents and I don't have a best friend. Most of my friends know my ex, and I am trying to avoid them. I'm scared of having another relationship, I don't think I can do all this again. I know there is a chance the next one could be the one but it could also be another heartbreak. I just don't have that fight that some people have. They manage to make things happen for themselves. I have no confidence and no ambition left at all. What reason am I here for? I just feel awful that some poor person is dying somewhere. They may have someone that they love and loves them, they might have ambitions. I don't have any of that and feel like I would rather be in their position.
Similar Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 You have an intense focus on very negative things, even though there are positive things you could look at..you need to break that cycle. Do you feel like this Every Day? You need to seek professional help then, otherwise I suggest just moving far away.. moving does wonders to your self image (I moved to a different country when I was 20)
youngnlove89 Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 You can blame your childhood and the last few years on your parents or circumstances, but the next 50 are on you. Do something about it. I moved out of my mom's house when I was 21. I had no money and no help from anyone. I found a job with no college education, got an apartment and I'm striving now. It wasn't easy. It was hard. And I was scared. But I did it. You can too. Get a credit card. Get a loan and go back to school. Save up your money. Start loving yourself and believing in you. It's hard and it isn't easy at all. I'm still working on my self esteem. It sucks when everything in life doesn't go the way we want it too. But don't blame other people for your life. Those girls left you because it just didn't work out, not because you aren't worthy. You will find someone one day that does work out. Your parents weren't nice to you, but piss on them! Prove to them that you are worth it, that you can do it! Make that your goal. When someone says you can't do something that should make you want to do it even more!
Exitleft Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 **hugs** not everyone moves at the same pace in life. It's okay!!!! You first need to try to not compare yourself to others, you are you and your story and situation is different. Is there anything in particular you have an interest in? Have a think about it. Maybe join a social group online and meet new friends that aren't shared with your ex. Don't be too down on yourself. Plenty of time to turn it all around.
TaraMaiden Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 You need to see a doctor - and probably be referred to a Counsellor. You're suffering from Depression, probably have been for some while, and I think you need help. You can't do this on your own. I await all the objections as to why you couldn't possibly do that right now - but the fact is, and the fact remains: It's what you need most. And there's no shame in that, or admitting it.
jesse93 Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 hey man, i'm kind of on the same path as you in a sense, i have social anxiety and depression, just lost my gf of almost 4 years 5 days ago today and i don't have any friends whatsoever besides a few online friends, no job, but i'm currently going to see a counselor and a doctor to see what he says. its hard but you can find treatment to help you get through it bro its only as hard as you make it if you sit there and chose not to go talk to someone about your problems then you'll continue to suffer bro. i learned this after sheltering myself for 2 years i couldve done so much in those 2 years. but i'm glad i'm choosing to get the help i need now rather than later. you should look into a counselor.
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