drkstr Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 (edited) Long story lol: So a female coworker of mine (shes 29) used to come by my office and talk with me (im 25) every day about everything for months. She developed feelings for me and I did too. I took her out on a very well-planned and amazing date. After I asked her to be my GF, she happily said yes. We went out about 3-4 times a week from then on and everything between us was very beautiful, but she kept telling me about her bad experiences with her ex, who was also younger, and also indirectly comparing me to him. That made me more and more hesitant in a full on commitment since it appears that I always reminded her of her ex. Every time I looked at her eyes I knew that she loved me and I loved her too, but I was afraid that I might hurt her in the end... so i dropped a couple hints stating that we might not be with each other in the future which made her sad (HUGE MISTAKE ON MY PART). At around late June, she came to my office with tears in her eyes and told me that our relationship isn't going anywhere and said that we should be friends. I agreed with that since I knew that if we continued on, it will hurt even more for her. We went out one last time and became just friends, but I still loved her with all my heart. A week later I realized what I did wrong and tried to contact her, but she was always busy. I needed to talk to her, so I stopped by her house during the 4th of July night. As I was driving to find parking, I noticed my male coworker's car pulling up and she walked in (just the two of them alone at night). That night haunts me to the point I could not sleep or eat for weeks. I was blinded with sadness and rage on how I could be replaced in just a matter of days. On top of that I was mad how, of all people in the world, she would choose my male coworker... who I saw as a good friend. I told her what I saw that night and she acknowledges that she was "evaluating" him. That made me mad but I let that go. At work I noticed they got closer together, and they would flirt with each other via in-person and text. It got to the point where I could not focus on my work because I'm just being tied in my office chair and forced to watch them fall in love while my heart breaks over and over again every day. I tried to talk to her but she gave me this cold and angry response to me. I asked her whats wrong and she told me that I was stringing her along and being selfish since all I was doing what I wanted to do. I was so frustrated, since everything I did was for her yet I was vilified. I don't know what to do anymore, other than quit my job and move on. I still love her so much, but I'm watching myself turn into the bad guy while my male coworker and my ex. is falling in love in front of me and going out every night and doing the things I used to to do with her. Edited July 27, 2013 by drkstr
KathyM Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Sorry, but you kind of brought this on yourself. You took it way too slow and didn't advance the relationship. After she left, you realized your mistake. If this is too difficult to watch and you can't concentrate on your work, you may want to look for another job.
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