MissBee Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 ...in real life? I have this female friend of mine, she just turned 50, cute, funny, and always positive. IN fact, that's probably what causes men to gravitate towards her. She's been single for a good long while but a lot of men IN her social circle have asked out her out, some times repetitively or would go out with her as "friends" but wind up expecting more. She tells me, that even though they seem like nice and great guys to spend time with, however, she just has no real physical attraction to them. Now, this is coming from a 50 year old woman, that...well, let's just say has recently put on some pounds in the last couple of years she's been single..and well...perhaps she should start considering at her age...she might want to loose the "hot hunk with the washboard abs" mentality. Granted some of the men in her age bracket have a few pounds on their belly themselves....I was wondering if she should start seeing the "light" in her standards on what she's looking for? The last guy she was in a relationship was highly slender, he didn't work out hardly, but was naturally thin...tanned and had a mullet cut. lol He was one of those guys that worked out doors with his shirt off all the time. Anyhow, just saying....esp. at some women's age here, where they can't afford to be picky...isn't it about time to alter your criteria to an age appropriate set of criteria? I am not sure what an age appropriate set of criteria means. You can ALWAYS afford to be picky. I do not believe because you are 50 you need to just lose your standards....unless your standards are unrealistic and superficial, then you don't need to lower them/change them. My standards are more about qualities and values versus looks. I do need to be attracted to you physically though, and usually if I like your personality and qualities, you become more attractive to me. I don't chase a particular look, so if I were dating at 50 it would be the same thing. If your friend things these guys are nice, good to spend time with, but not "hot", then yes...maybe she should focus on what's more important, which isn't that. To the opening question...I do turn men down in real life who ask me out, more than I take them up on their offers. That's not because of hotness though but because most of them I know I have little in common with by even how they approach me.
Star Gazer Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 If she's cute, funny and positive, it sounds like she has some good things going for her. If she gets plenty of attention from men and has had a fair number of relationships in the past, it sounds like her expectations are not uncalled for. She's selective, and it sounds like she can get away with being very selective. OP obviously liked her. Now, he's putting her down and saying she should accept less (I guess he means, him).
D-Lish Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 You know what? I'm 40 now. I've been married- so I've had my "white dress day". I've loved, I've lost, but it doesn't matter if I look like I am 20 anymore. If I had the wisdom of my 40 year old self when I was 20- I might be blissfully married right now. Not all, but a lot of women will hit that time in their life when they demand the best for themselves- and if they can't get it, they'll adopt a cat. Meow. 5
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