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To those who are going through a hard time

supaflyz

By supaflyz
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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supaflyz Established Member

supaflyz

Posted
Posted

Stay strong guys. Things does get better. You just have to stick to no contact. It's hard at first, but things will eventually get better. Time does heal most of the wounds and kill the deep feelings.

 

It has been over 3 months now since my ex broke up with me. I was so frustrated with her at first. I was in denial, anger, depress, now acceptance.

 

I was driving around with a classmate of ours today. We were just drinking and catching up. Then we talk about each other ex. I didn't really brought up the subject about my ex. She told me that my ex is doing good, and that she is starting her job in a few weeks. She pass her board exam. Before when I would get the news I would automatically check up on her facebook. However, I realized I have blocked her for more than a month already. Unblocking her will only set me back. It also wouldn't help the situation since we haven't talk for so long. The feelings are truly gone. I'm happy for her that she finally gets to do what she always wanted to do. I don't have anymore hatred or anything. No contact have help me reflect on what type of person that I am. Showed me what I did wrong. I don't really have anymore regrets. I'm a different person from when I first started posting about this subject. Even though I was tipsy. I came home and took a deep breath. She is no longer the person that I fell in love with. I must accept that.

 

People come and go. Sometime a person will come to teach you more about yourself, and that is what she did.

  • Like 2
jesse93 Established Member

jesse93

Posted
Posted

i'm glad things are getting better for you man, todays day 5 of NC for me its really hard but thanks for the words of encouragement for me and everyone else it means a lot. its gotten harder as each day goes by but i'm just waiting patiently for the pain to start slowly fading away. Its hard but i'm going to try my best, thanks for the words of encouragement and i'm glad you're doing well man :)

  • Like 1
keepontruckin Established Member

keepontruckin

Posted
Posted

It's good that you are putting a positive spin on the situation. It's like the crappy jobs we've all had in the past... I don't regret ever working them now, because I believe that at the very least I gained some valuable experience, met different people, and was one step closer in knowing what I wanted/needed in a job.

  • Like 2
NomiMalone Established Member

NomiMalone

Posted
Posted

Your post really touched me. Im rather new to this forum and haven't yet had the time to read up on everyone's stories, but it sounds like you're well on your way in the process of moving on. I agree so much that our relationships and break ups and how we deal with all of it teaches us a lot about who we are and where we went wrong. But it also takes wisdom and understanding to come to this realization, so hats off to you.

 

Yes, don't unblock her on FB, it really wouldn't do you any good.

 

Thank you for the reassurance that things WILL get better!

  • Like 1
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supaflyz Established Member

supaflyz

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I felt that everything was crumbling down when she left. I would lay on my sofa and listen on my ipod to all the sad love songs. I hate to admit it but I cried. However, that is what make us humans special. We have feelings. The first few weeks I party hard. I went out with friends to club and bars. I met new women. It only made the situation worse because I usually feel really bad after having fun.

 

Right now I'm still up watching the Big Bang Theory. It's good to watch a funny show when you are down. I'm not really down because of her. I'm just down because I feel my life isn't going anywhere at this point with my career and studies.

  • Like 1
keepontruckin Established Member

keepontruckin

Posted
Posted

supa, your life IS going somewhere. You have a career and studies? Now you have the time to focus on them.

 

I spent enough $$$ on my STBX... Dinners, drinks, gifts, etc. Paying off some of her debts.

 

Now I can focus on building my savings back up. I like to have some dough, and now is the opportune time to do just that.

 

And when you meet someone else, you'll have less worries, and can give her your undivided attention/love/money, since you now have time to take complete care of business...

  • Like 1
Inviv_girl Established Member

Inviv_girl

Posted
Posted
Stay strong guys. Things does get better. You just have to stick to no contact. It's hard at first, but things will eventually get better. Time does heal most of the wounds and kill the deep feelings.

 

It has been over 3 months now since my ex broke up with me. I was so frustrated with her at first. I was in denial, anger, depress, now acceptance.

 

I was driving around with a classmate of ours today. We were just drinking and catching up. Then we talk about each other ex. I didn't really brought up the subject about my ex. She told me that my ex is doing good, and that she is starting her job in a few weeks. She pass her board exam. Before when I would get the news I would automatically check up on her facebook. However, I realized I have blocked her for more than a month already. Unblocking her will only set me back. It also wouldn't help the situation since we haven't talk for so long. The feelings are truly gone. I'm happy for her that she finally gets to do what she always wanted to do. I don't have anymore hatred or anything. No contact have help me reflect on what type of person that I am. Showed me what I did wrong. I don't really have anymore regrets. I'm a different person from when I first started posting about this subject. Even though I was tipsy. I came home and took a deep breath. She is no longer the person that I fell in love with. I must accept that.

 

People come and go. Sometime a person will come to teach you more about yourself, and that is what she did.

 

Not as easy at it sounds. People have different stage of recovery. Very close to one year now of my break up, I thought I could look back and laugh at my last relationship but I am not. I'm still crying over him sometimes, the tide up and down and in circle like roller coaster. I have my strength and weak moment from time to time. I did everything to get him out of my head, I did what people told me! I dated some guys, I kissed some guys, I slept with one but after that only make myself feel awful and don't want to see him again. I don't know maybe I'm just not ready for anything yet. The hurt my ex- put me through is just extreme that I'm scared to start relationship all over again with another guy.

 

Now I just hang out with my friends, enjoy my work, do lots of activities and make some new friends. I somehow still very sensitive when a guy tried to get close to me I will back off.. just the feeling of fear I might get hurt again.

 

I wish everyone have a better stage of recovery not like I am. Time will heal the wound.. how I wish it can really heal mine :)

  • Like 1
onearthur Member

onearthur

Posted
Posted

Supa, thanks for sharing your story.

 

I've had no contact for a while but my emotions are like the tide, constantly up and down! All rather annoying, I just wanna move on and be as "normal" as possible again!!!

unluckycat Member

unluckycat

Posted
Posted

I'm glad to hear a story where it seems there could be hope...

 

I just ended a 10 year relationship. And tonight, 5 days after I moved back with my parents, I told him I would no longer talk to him.

 

Eventhough we spent the last 10 years practically inseparable. I am taking it very hard right now. It's literally been only been an hour and I already want to text him back...

 

But my heart is fighting with my gut feeling.

  • Like 2
onearthur Member

onearthur

Posted
Posted

Hey unluckycat,

 

Just remember, things can only get better! What you are experiencing is the lowest you will ever feel in your life, the only way is truly up!

 

Keep us updated please!

 

Hugs!!!

x

 

I'm glad to hear a story where it seems there could be hope...

 

I just ended a 10 year relationship. And tonight, 5 days after I moved back with my parents, I told him I would no longer talk to him.

 

Eventhough we spent the last 10 years practically inseparable. I am taking it very hard right now. It's literally been only been an hour and I already want to text him back...

 

But my heart is fighting with my gut feeling.

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supaflyz Established Member

supaflyz

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Just have to realize that this no contact is about "YOU" now. You are the only person that is capable of loving yourself. In the end you will be responsible for your happiness. I had the urge to contact her today after I woke up. I felt really bad after drinking last night. Then I thought to myself that I'm much stronger then that. The things that are going in my head are just that. Sometimes we cave under our own thoughts. We must find a way to sway away from those thoughts though.

  • Like 1
unluckycat Member

unluckycat

Posted
Posted
Hey unluckycat,

 

Just remember, things can only get better! What you are experiencing is the lowest you will ever feel in your life, the only way is truly up!

 

Keep us updated please!

 

Hugs!!!

x

 

I didn't want to clutter up your post, so I posted a bit more extensively about the situation here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/411695-being-friends-my-ex-proving-difficult#post5082721

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