Relationship just ended

[B1989]

Me and my girlfriend were together for 8 months and it just ended on Sunday 7/21. I'm 24 and she's 22

 

First I meet this girl bc she was one if my old exs friend. The relationship started bc she reached out and started talking to me bc their friendship was tainted.

 

In our relationship we argued like anyone else. Sometimes during these fights I would leave her house and she would call me to come back and I always did. I only left during these times bc she was being extremely difficult and cold. During the relationship I had some insecurities about guys in her life but I never asked her to stop taking to them I just asked questions (maybe to many) to figure out who they were. Until recently I didn't have a car to see her a lot however we managed to send a large amount of times together sometimes whole weeks together.

 

In the past two months her family recently moved 2hrs away from her, her best friend also just graduated college and moved 2 hrs away also. She is also a very family oriented person if her mother tells her to do something she does it.

 

We made plans months ago to spend time together for the Fourth of July I even took my vacation time off of work to spend with her. However, her mother tells her on July 1 that the family is getting together (brother goes to college far away dad travels a lot) and she wants her home on the 3rd to break in the home. I see her the 2nd and she hits me with this and expects me to find my own way to her parents house ( I didn't own a car yet). Anyway I can't get up there and I'm very up set I over react and fell as if she puts me in a situation in where I can succeed. So I over react and break up via text saying "I can't do this anymore" she then txts me at night saying "I miss you" and I don't respond. I sit in this for a say and she send "?" I said "what". At the end of that night I realize that I made a huge mistake and send her this long text and she accepts me back by saying "if you love somebody you wrong with them threw the hard times". So fast forward to the 10th I buy a car and see her the 11th. The night was amazing we really did nothing except laundry and have a night dinner. We spend the night on her porch drinking a few beers. I end up taking a shower there and sleeping over. We have sex and then I asked for the keys back and she gave them to me (this is pivotal bc last time I saw her she didn't want to and I became cold and didn't cuddle with her. So in the morning of that other night she causes a fight over it so I end up giving back her house keys). I end up driving her to work. She was planing on going to her parents new house on the 23rd and invites me to come up and I can now bc I bought a car and I also invited her to my family party on the 27 and she agrees and is very excited. On my way up she mentions to me that left her bc at her house which was out of the way of her parents hose so I go get it with out her asking, I end up spending two nights at the parents house. While at the parents house me and her went to the supermarket to get something's her mother needed when leaving the supermarket I mention if I can see her Friday night and she gets cold by saying she works late Friday and early on Sunday and won't have time, I said "okay sorry I won't ask again". Fast forward to the night We had dinner for her sisters birthday an overall awesome night and I left early in the morning bc I had work. She txts me saying thank you for coming down etc. Friday midday she calls me and says she is upset with me bc I didn't engage in enough conversation with her parents or didn't leave a good bye note, so this became a little argument bc I said well you don't make anytime to see me anymore bc that night she was going out with her girlfriend and I asked to come along and she said it was a girls night. So ends up calling me a little after bc she thought her cat drank drano we talk it was a normal convo and she says she will call me later. Fast forward to 2am no answer from her so my friend suggests to tell her that you are sleeping her house. I say this and she sends back "?" I said I just wanted to let you known just in case it happened. She ends up calling me the next day after she was done work asking me if everything is okay I said yes. I then pass out and miss her txt followed by her phone calls. The txt read "are you sure everything is okay" "my name" "?" "What the hell". I call her in the morning assuring her everything was okay. I end up calling her the on the 21 at night bc I haven't spoken to her all night. She was out with her friends I asked her to step away so I can talk to her she ends up telling me that things weren't the same and will pay me back for the reservation I put out for my family party for her and I end up telling her I don't want her money and take it easy and hang up.

 

She also just started a job at a restaurant and I know things in a restaurant environment are usually sketch with everyone hooking up with each other. And take in to mind that this is the same person that told me she couldn't think she could live without me and we made plans on moving to the west cost at the end of this year when we finished school. She also comes from a high profile family, and I was the first boyfriend that the whole family approved of and actually liked.

 

So when she broke up with me I unfollowed her on all of the social medias but she remains following me on instagram. And she still has the photo of us together on the album "profile picture".

 

Me being crazy manic was doing some snooping and saw that two days ago on her blog she post "all of the kinds of sadness" then meme from freak and geeks saying "I'm not a girl, I'm a bionic women" "and then a photo with her on her friends shoulder with the caption "xoxo". And just tonight she just started to follow her old fling that was prior to me. She unfollowed him bc she thought he was being a smartass and liking every phot of me she put up.

 

The NC has only been 5 days and it sucks I know and the dumpee I can't contact her bc this was her decision. And I know the novel I posted above sounds childish but piror to that we both were always there for each other. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for buy anything is good. And if I rambled on to much sorry. Thanks.

[B1989]

Also prior to breaking up on sun I called her in the morning to tell her to have a good day at work and that I live you. She replied the same and then told me how her is going back to physical therapy for her leg (bad blood flow and I would massage it for her). So when she ended it later that night it caught me off guard bc just that morning she told me she loved but then at the end of the night when she is out with her friends that it just isn't working. Idn I'm just confused and I guess holding on to hopeless dreams.

[B1989]

During one of fights she was historical crying (I don't know wh) but her mother found out and took her out to the museum and had a talk with her and said something along the lines that you have to address the controlling and insecurity about the other men now or it will never go away. The mother has the same issue in her relationship. But after I broke up with her and got back to together I told her I was going to work on that and I was during the period time of the 6th to the 21 I didn't mention anything.

 

Also or time during July she just broke down and started histrical crying and told me she didn't know what's wrong but she is just sad and was happy to have me.

[B1989]

I also still have her keys she didn't ask for that back when she needed it or any other way. Should I block her on fb I just unfollowed and what about instagram she is still following me but I'm not her should I block her on that or is that all just pitty. Should I let her continue to see what I like? I can't see her profile bc it's private. Also bc she can see my instagram I am being a little generous with my likes towards girls and there "selfies". I feel like she is following that kid again bc of that? Or maybe she is just getting back to the ways she use to be. Maybe she feels that I held her back idn. She even txted me that night on the 4th when I broke up with her that "you're my babe". Idn I'm just being very manic and bugging I don't sleep anymore either

Edited July 27, 2013 by B1989

[B1989]

Today if ruff bc I'm going to my family party later today.

[B1989]

<Thread merged by moderation>

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/411662-relationship-just-ended

 

No contact and I'm still up and down. Saw she "refriended" a guy she was seeing before me after she "unfollowed" bc she thought he was being spiteful and like things about me on her ig. Any advice?

Edited July 31, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Philosoraptor]

Delete/block her on all mediums and stop concerning yourself with what she is up to. If you want to move on you need to take your focus off of her and put it on yourself.

[B1989]

I've done that a few days ago. However i still want to be with her. From reading on these forums I know I have to remain NC bc she's the one who broke up. It's just hard to believe after everything.

[B1989]

And still having her keys weirds me out. When we argued before I always gave them back and she said no they're yours. So still having them kind of feels symbolic to me or I'm just overvaluing them

[Philosoraptor]

Mail the keys back, done.

 

NC is for your own healing, doesn't matter who did the breakup. Focus on yourself. Start a new hobby, join a club, hang out with friends, read a book, etc. Do whatever you can to make yourself happy.

[fujidabruin]

Gotta get rid of the keys if you are going NC. Having them seems like "future contact" to me. I feel you have to be fully immersed in NC or you linger in the inability to move forward. Do the keys represent an expectation for the future?

If they do... thats not full NC dude. Check yourself, recognize, then take control again. Good Luck!

[B1989]

I don't know her address should i put them in an envelope a have a friend drop them off at her work? Or should i get the address from her friend or would reaching out the friend be to much. It's like I want to get rid of them but then I don't. Thanks

Edited July 31, 2013 by B1989

[Philosoraptor]

Have a friend just stuff the envelope into the mailbox and be done with it.

[B1989]

Can't do the mail box bc it's a po box. And I I drop it off at her work I have to go out if my way to te city. I kinda just want to ask her friend address but idn if that would be wrong

[B1989]

Instead of talking to her friend I could get it from her friends boyfriend?

[B1989]

I've decided to go through the girl friends bf. thanks for the support I'm sure ill be posting back on here.

[Chi townD]

Dude, it's just time to move on. Block her from all of your social networking. That's not being petty, that's getting your life together.

 

Besides, she's the one that dumped you! Who cares what she thinks! She certainly doesn't care what you think! She decided that she wants you out of her life. Well, you're giving her exactly what she's asking for. That's not petty.

 

When and IF she discovers that you blocked her, she may reach out to you. IGNORE IT! Post here instead. We'll talk you through it.

[B1989]

I will do. I'm also made an appointment to start seeing a therapist for tomorrow. It seems like this is a vicious cycle in my life and I need to stop this pattern. Thanks for the support