faith.to.overcome Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Here's my story, I want to thank everyone for your input and any advice you can give me as I have been strugling with this my entire life. I am 25 almost 26 years old female I grew up on Vancouver island until I was 18 years old. I was my fathers daughter his special diamond his favorite he was my hero. Until the divorce happened he cheated on my mom and ended up leaving for the other woman. The other woman was manipulative and ended up getting him to cut me out of his life permanently out of pure jelousy. Its been 9 years since he last talked to me. I was never so hurt in my life knowing the only man i trusted and loved could drop me and not look back. His own flesh and blood. Needless to say id never trust another man again. Little did i know the irreversible effects it would have on me later in life. I was broken I moved and hopped a plane a province away as soon as my 18Th birthday as I could not deal with the heartbreak. Here I am 5 years later still havent looked back when i hopped that plane. Been in and out of bad relationships my relationship has been going on 3 years. It was fine for the first year until he quit his job and never got another one he sits around the house all day and doesnt work its been 2 years i have put up with this. i cant seem to leave him even tho he is bad for me in fear of being alone. And abandoned like my father did to me. I never want tovfeel thqt agqin. No matter how hard i push him to work he wont he lives with me i pqy the rent bills food and smokes im like his mother not his gf.
Eggplant Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Try cognitive behavioral therapy. They'll help you overcome your irrational fear of being alone. It's really not the catastrophe you make it out to be. Plus you won't be alone -- you'll find somebody. You should fear what will happen if you STAY. Then you'll miss your chance to find somebody real. Don't pay for this guy's food. He's a moocher.
Eggplant Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Also, your father and his OW are horrible people for abandoning you.
Author faith.to.overcome Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 I have never fully healed from loosibg my father so young made it so the men i date aee more controlling. I seem to pick all the wrong men men that act like a father figurw and its not healthy. Living without him has been a constant struggle i envy those than have a father that are still there to hold them and help them with thier bf trouble my mother qas amazing and i watched her try to make him happy with everything in her power. She thought that she could change him help him save him and the family by buying his loce and being the best wife she could be. Itbwas no use he left us all. I learned and watched now years later i have the same mentality thinking maybe i can cha hasjge him band save him. He has a good heart. i still have not healed and asbi get oldwr the men i am attracted too resemble that of my father. His wife becuase i qas not her oqn child has abandoned us 3 kids its been a7 years. Ive tried to mend what once was bwcauwe i need a father to guide me and maybe i wouldnt be this way. but he is so cold not the dad i remember. He doesnt love or have time ever. I saw my mom do everything to save my dad and now i find myaelf in her shoes trying to savehim how do u get someine to love u when he has forgotten u in sake of his daughters future relationships in life because of abandonedment
Author faith.to.overcome Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 Him abandoning us for her did irreperable damage in our lives and i cant trust anyone because if i was his wold i trusted him and leave us behind how flesh and blood if he could do that to his own child how can i ever trust another man to not leave like he did to me. I am scared to be abandoned even tho im treated like a doormat so sorry this has been bottled up for her7 years and never talked about this so sorry for ranting i dont know how to deal with this everyone said reconcile with your dad but he is not onboard he is too busy with his new wife.
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