thr1986 Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Were in our late twenties, just started a new job. The new job has required all of us (20 people) to move to the city in which the companies headquarters is located for 6 months for training. Everyone has moved here, many have left their significant other back at home and some are single. One of the girls and I share an obvious attraction to one another. We sit next to each other every day, we talk all the time. I have tons of time with her throughout the week. We really have a lot in common and are constantly talking about common interests. Its obvious that there is some chemistry between us. The problem is that she has a boyfriend of 4 years that she left at home to come here for training. She has mentioned him a number of times in group conversation, ect. But honestly, I think she likes me and I know she MUST feel the chemistry between us. How should I handle this? If she were single I think we would definitely have something more going on. Its tricky, I feel like if she were completely uninterested then she would not go out of her way to participate in the chemistry that is going on....what are your thoughts??
Author thr1986 Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 She's mentioned him several times as a red flag. Be her friend, but do not hope for anything more. Do not push for anything to happen, and in the unlikely event that she makes a pass, reject the offer. If you can't be her friend, dial down your interaction with her. She's off-limits until she ditches the boyfriend. Are you sure?? It seems like she is putting herself out there a little bit... They have been together for quite some time I think (4ish years) and I'm pretty sure they live together back home. What do you think she is trying to get out of her obvious somewhat flirtatious behavior towards me? Attention??
Mycteria Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Possibly...who knows. People in relationships meet other people that they have chemistry with all the time. Just because she's in a relationship doesn't mean she's dead. Maybe she would be interested in you if she were single, but she's not. Besides, if she's the type of girl who would ditch her boyfriend for you, then you don't want her anyway. She wouldn't have what it takes to remain in a committed relationship. Part of commitment is going out of your way to avoid getting close to someone you have an obvious attraction to. She's clearly not doing that, which means she either has poor boundaries or isn't as into you as you think she is.
Tinie Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 No don't go there. Really the only reason why you think you might have chemistry is because you work in the same place. It's easy to develop feelings for a coworker because you're there experiencing the everyday life with them, in the process getting to know them in a way that isn't forced (in comparison to OLD for example). Because you've opened up to this person emotionally, you feel like you're attached to them and therefore there "must be something there". I really doubt she's wanting to leave her bf for you. And even if she did, she'd probably eventually leave you for someone else.
TaraMaiden Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 A girl? With a BF? Totally off limits until she tells you "We've split up." Until then, back off. If you were her BF - how would you feel about someone "encroaching dangerously on YOUR territory" (metaphorically speaking)....?? 4
Mascara Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 I have a friend who flirts all the time. Man, woman, beast, inanimate objects. It's not remotely sexual to her, she is just always on the charm. If you spent 5 minutes with her, you'd be convinced she was in love with you. 2
Imported Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 I have a friend who flirts all the time. Man, woman, beast, inanimate objects. It's not remotely sexual to her, she is just always on the charm. If you spent 5 minutes with her, you'd be convinced she was in love with you. There was a girl at my work that was like that. Very sexual girl and a lot of guys thought she was into them because she was always so nice to them and flirtatious. That usually turns to hate when they realize they're wrong and then she usually gets called a tease or a whore......all behind her back of course. I remember one guy describing how she came on to him........and I was there. He completely misread everything and got it all wrong, but in his mind she was trying to get him to have sex with her....which he refused because he just got married. I was there, it was nothing like that.
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