How long do rebound relationships last?

[GamerGurl]

Of course I am not sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for my ex's relationship to "crash" but I am curious as to how long did some people's ex's rebounds last for?

 

I looked up signs of a rebound relationship and I really feel like my ex is in one.

 

- She is one of the first girls he met after our break up

- She is completely opposite of me in every way possible

- He treats her like a friend on social websites when she acts like he is a trophy. (it is really strange xD)

 

they only hung out for like 2 weeks before him and her "hooked up".. I would assume that this IS a rebound right? (we were only broken up 4 weeks before he met her) So 6weeks into our break up he hooked up.

 

Please don't do the hurtful "get over him" comments because I still actually care deeply for this man and I am honestly hurt to see him wrapped around another woman he just met. I am of course going out and having my own life and trying dates but I haven't actually gotten "official" with anyone because I don't feel like I am ready yet. I don't want to rebound anyone myself! Deep down of course I am hoping he will realize this girl isn't anything he wants and maybe will miss me, of course I know this does not always happen but I really am hoping...

 

PS- I do not contact him at all and I act like I don't even think he exists or let his new girlfriend phase me. I don't need the drama or looking crazy haha.

[newerr]

My "rebound" relationship lasted over two years- double the time of the relationship I was rebounding from. We just broke it off recently. Don't think I'll be looking for a rebound this time!

[GamerGurl]

How long is a piece of string?

 

He might marry her. Who knows? There is no answer to your question.

 

Move on, start dating. Have your own rebound. You'll feel better for it.

 

 

I don't want to rebound anyone. I don't like conflict or to hurt peoples feelings D: I won't date unless I feel ready and I am over my ex (which I am not just yet) I don't want to stoop like he did.

 

I doubt he will marry her though haha. She went through like 4 boyfriends in the last 3 and a half months haha. She is unstable xD

[Els]

You are getting far too fixated on this. You don't necessarily need to get into a R yourself if you aren't ready, but 'sitting around twiddling your thumbs wondering when they will end'? You say you don't want drama in your life - stop creating it.

 

The 'get over him' comments may be hurtful, but they're correct. This isn't just an ex. This is an ex who broke up with you over a month ago and not only has shown no desire to reconcile, but is with another girl right now. Every day you spend NOT trying to 'get over him', is a day wasted on your part.

 

They may last or they may not, but that isn't what your attention should be on.

[GamerGurl]

You are getting far too fixated on this. You don't necessarily need to get into a R yourself if you aren't ready, but 'sitting around twiddling your thumbs wondering when they will end'? You say you don't want drama in your life - stop creating it.

 

The 'get over him' comments may be hurtful, but they're correct. This isn't just an ex. This is an ex who broke up with you over a month ago and not only has shown no desire to reconcile, but is with another girl right now. Every day you spend NOT trying to 'get over him', is a day wasted on your part.

 

They may last or they may not, but that isn't what your attention should be on.

 

 

Okay first, how am I creating drama? I made it clear that I am avoiding it by not talking to him or his rebound. If you read it correctly I said I AM NOT sitting around twiddling my thumbs.

 

You are really rude!

 

PS - I didn't say how our break up was so stop assuming please! If he has no desire to reconcile why does he keep our pictures on Facebook? Why does he still mention me on comments? exactly!

[aloneinaz]

I don't want to rebound anyone. I don't like conflict or to hurt peoples feelings D: I won't date unless I feel ready and I am over my ex (which I am not just yet) I don't want to stoop like he did.

 

I doubt he will marry her though haha. She went through like 4 boyfriends in the last 3 and a half months haha. She is unstable xD

 

Ok, wait. He dumped you and you still see his online stuff like Facebook? Huh? That's mistake number one. You need to block him on all media. Why torture yourself and look at that?

 

How do you know he's "rebounding" vs. simply starting another relationship? Most dumpers have thought about the deed far before they executed it. He was over you and is moving on with his life. You need to do the same.

 

Dating is a risk FOR ALL INVOLVED. Anyone could be "rebounded" at any time. That's silly to think that way. For all you know, you could have a date "with the one" and never look back again at this ex. Don't sit at home fixated on someone who told you they don't want you in their life anymore. Go out on dates. Have sex. Live your life.

[aloneinaz]

If he has no desire to reconcile why does he keep our pictures on Facebook? Why does he still mention me on comments? exactly!

 

 

Again, why are you stalking him on Facebook and other media? Doesn't that create drama in your mind? You're fixated on his comments and that he still has pictures up of you? BLOCK HIM.

 

My ex ended it w/me. I got ALL my stuff back two days later and blocked her. Again, she told me she doesn't want me in her life anymore. Why would I still be her "friend" on Facebook or anywhere else? You don't want me in your life? You got it. She's hasn't heard a word from me since that day 2 months ago nor will she ever. I've moved on. I'm dating someone new who likes me.

[GamerGurl]

Ok, wait. He dumped you and you still see his online stuff like Facebook? Huh? That's mistake number one. You need to block him on all media. Why torture yourself and look at that?

 

How do you know he's "rebounding" vs. simply starting another relationship? Most dumpers have thought about the deed far before they executed it. He was over you and is moving on with his life. You need to do the same.

 

Dating is a risk FOR ALL INVOLVED. Anyone could be "rebounded" at any time. That's silly to think that way. For all you know, you could have a date "with the one" and never look back again at this ex. Don't sit at home fixated on someone who told you they don't want you in their life anymore. Go out on dates. Have sex. Live your life.

 

Never once said I looked at his Facebook. We blocked one another already. I have all of his friends blocked. So Never said i was looking

 

I doubt he is just "starting" a relationship. Our situation and break up was not a normal break up. We lost our baby.... I doubt the last thing he is doing is planning marriage and sex with another woman after just losing a child... Ok?

 

I also said I DO GO OUT AND DO STUFF. I never said I sit at home!! Why won't anyone read my stuff...

[GamerGurl]

He's keeping you as a friend so that he feels less guilty about the break up I'm assuming he dumped you?)

 

 

No, That is the thing. We blocked each other long ago on facebook. I don't even see his stuff. The only reason I know it is all on there is because a friend informed me of it and said it was strange that he had them up on his Facebook still....

[veggirl]

No one can tell you how long rebound Rs last.

 

No one can even tell you whether or not his R is a rebound. He could have been mentally checked out and moving on for months before the break up, in which case this would prob not be a rebound perse. How long did you date?

 

I think your best bet is to block and go NC. I think that not seeing anything about his new R is going to be better for you longterm...why would you want to know about it anyway? Are you hoping to reconcile at some point? Once you are over him (you will know when you are because his R status will not affect you one bit) then you can be FB friends and the like......btw, a lot of people leave up FB pics because it's just a hassle/pain/time consuming to delete them.

 

Elswyth was pretty spot on, tbh.........

 

People could say I'm in a rebound relationship....we went on our first date literally 16 days after I said "goodbye" to the guy before him (who I'd known and dated off/on for 5 years....about 1.5 straight before I said goodbye for real), but I'd long checked out of that relationship, just hadn't gone through the formality of "goodbye". I have been with my "rebound" for 2+ years and we have relocated across the country together...

[GamerGurl]

Of course I am not sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for my ex's relationship to "crash" but I am curious as to how long did some people's ex's rebounds last for?

 

I looked up signs of a rebound relationship and I really feel like my ex is in one.

 

- She is one of the first girls he met after our break up

- She is completely opposite of me in every way possible

- He treats her like a friend on social websites when she acts like he is a trophy. (it is really strange xD)

 

they only hung out for like 2 weeks before him and her "hooked up".. I would assume that this IS a rebound right? (we were only broken up 4 weeks before he met her) So 6weeks into our break up he hooked up.

 

Please don't do the hurtful "get over him" comments because I still actually care deeply for this man and I am honestly hurt to see him wrapped around another woman he just met. I am of course going out and having my own life and trying dates but I haven't actually gotten "official" with anyone because I don't feel like I am ready yet. I don't want to rebound anyone myself! Deep down of course I am hoping he will realize this girl isn't anything he wants and maybe will miss me, of course I know this does not always happen but I really am hoping...

 

PS- I do not contact him at all and I act like I don't even think he exists or let his new girlfriend phase me. I don't need the drama or looking crazy haha.

 

 

There I bolded out everything you all just told me to do which I already do.

[GamerGurl]

I am really disappointed that instead of getting some support and actual help, I am getting snapped at and you are all assuming parts of this instead of first asking me.

 

Facebook

Going out

The break up

How I know

 

I thank you all for upsetting me and making me feel worse. Who do I contact to lock my thread please.

[veggirl]

A few of us answered your question. The answer is that there is no real answer. No one knows how long rebounds typically last. Some last years. Some last weeks.

 

Generally is jumping into a new R 4 wks after a break up a good idea? no. Does it work out sometimes? yes

[GamerGurl]

He could be. People deal with loss in different ways. Even if this is a rebound, and it only lasts a few months, he won't necessarily come back to you, he might continue to move forward and date someone else. That person will less likely be a rebound.

 

Regardless of what happens to precipitate a breakup, they really are all the same. There is no such thing as an 'unusual' break up. They are all a case of one person ending a relationship. He is moving on the way he knows how, which is dating other people. Rebound or not, he is moving in a forward trajectory that does not involve you.

 

 

Please don't even bother anymore. If he wanted to move forward then I wouldn't expect him to leave all his stuff at my house, keep all our old pictures and still talk about me to his friends. Who do I contact to get this thread locked or deleted please? A majority of your people are hurtful..

[jesse93]

i think the thing you're truly wanting to hear is that he still wants you back and the reason theres still photos of you and him on facebook is because you're still in his thoughts and his stuff is there because he is planning on coming back to you, i think it is time to move on in all honesty just let go.. tell your friends to stop telling you things about him and her, just let it go maybe he does have feelings for you but it doesn't seem that way you're just hurting yourself by trying to figure out if he still wants you or how long this rebound is going to last.

[Midnight_Princess]

You are the same girl that made the thread yesterday and went off on me and others who gave you honest answers you didnt like, arent you?

I hope you can see from other peoples answers here that no one was attacking you.

[jesse93]

You are the same girl that made the thread yesterday and went off on me and others who gave you honest answers you didnt like, arent you?

I hope you can see from other peoples answers here that no one was attacking you.

thats exactly what i thought just didn't want to say anything >.> haha

[Els]

Please don't even bother anymore. If he wanted to move forward then I wouldn't expect him to leave all his stuff at my house, keep all our old pictures and still talk about me to his friends.

 

And if he wanted to be with you, then you wouldn't expect him to be with another girl, yes?

 

Who do I contact to get this thread locked or deleted please? A majority of your people are hurtful..

 

Honestly, I've seen a lot of people get unfairly attacked on LS. You aren't one of them. Nobody is making personal attacks against you - most people are answering your question and giving you advice. If you feel that anything anyone says that doesn't corroborate 100% with your personal viewpoint is 'hurtful' - I'm afraid you're going to be in for a lot of hurt in your life until you realize that it isn't.

 

You can alert your own thread to get it locked if you desire, though that is entirely up to the mods' discretion.

 

I do genuinely wish you all the best, and hope that one day you'll realize that it's better to invest less time and energy in hoping others' relationships implode, and more in working on what you really need to do.

[daftpunk]

They last for precisely 72 days, 4 hours, 27 minutes, 42 seconds.

 

At this point, your ex will drop this rebound girl immediately and run back to you, grovel at your feet and tell you that he has no memory of the past few months--that he must've been under a spell or some form of psychosis--and that he desperately needs you back.

 

He will then ask for your hand in marriage, and you will have several wonderful children together. All of you will then live happily ever after as one big perfect family.

 

This is how rebounds go 100% of the time, .60% of the time.

[Inviv_girl]

Of course I am not sitting here twiddling my thumbs waiting for my ex's relationship to "crash" but I am curious as to how long did some people's ex's rebounds last for?

 

I looked up signs of a rebound relationship and I really feel like my ex is in one.

 

- She is one of the first girls he met after our break up

- She is completely opposite of me in every way possible

- He treats her like a friend on social websites when she acts like he is a trophy. (it is really strange xD)

 

they only hung out for like 2 weeks before him and her "hooked up".. I would assume that this IS a rebound right? (we were only broken up 4 weeks before he met her) So 6weeks into our break up he hooked up.

 

Please don't do the hurtful "get over him" comments because I still actually care deeply for this man and I am honestly hurt to see him wrapped around another woman he just met. I am of course going out and having my own life and trying dates but I haven't actually gotten "official" with anyone because I don't feel like I am ready yet. I don't want to rebound anyone myself! Deep down of course I am hoping he will realize this girl isn't anything he wants and maybe will miss me, of course I know this does not always happen but I really am hoping...

 

PS- I do not contact him at all and I act like I don't even think he exists or let his new girlfriend phase me. I don't need the drama or looking crazy haha.

 

It is not about rebounding or not, in a relationship what matter is the quality of it, if two people have deep connection and are meant to be to eachother doesn't matter rebound or not it could last forever. So who knows how long he will last with this new girl, and how long you'll be with your new men... no one knows! cheer up and be happy for yourself, date when you are ready! do not invest your energy into thinking about this rebounding things. If you and him are meant to be, there always be a way to get back together but dont wait and wondering when that gonna happen, instead you focusing on yourself to move forward.

[LoveB86]

Hey Gamergirl,

 

By all means, I am in no place to go against what you said in your 1st post. Let me just tell you a lil about me. My ex dumped me for a co worker 4 months ago. I did extreme research day in and day out on rebounding as I felt the cheating and him leaving me for her was rebounding. I never got one specific answer as I researched as there were many. He is still with her and rebound or not, he never made the attempt to reconcile nor have I heard from him. If I were you, I would no longer try asking this question. No one really knows, not even a psychologist can give you an exact answer ... really, only TIME is the answer. TIME will say how long they would last and of course we cannot predict the future. We just need to find it in our hearts (bad or good) to forgive them and respect the fact that the decision our exes make, they will have to live with their actions and/or consequences that follows.

 

I am just telling you from experience... I am not sugar coating anything, but am just saying that figuring out about rebounds is a waste of time. Just ride on out your emotions. Some days will be up and some days will be down. You will have moments where you want to give up.. but please stay true to yourself. Its gonna be one of hell of a journey, but in the end, you will be a stronger person and will be ready to shine again. Work on yourself and love yourself enough as you will need it during this time.

[Am4Real]

Sorry to hear your frustration with this thread.

 

Having posters not read a posting in it's entirety beforejumping on a preconceived conclusion happens frequently; I have been guilty ofsuch before.

 

With regard to your question on rebounds, there are plentyof variables impacting each situation. In all my relationships, three of my EX's dated ME as their lastboyfriend before they got married -- yep, I'm the living example of Dane Cook'smovie "Good Luck Chuck". Notproud of it, but true!

 

Anyway, two of those women attempted to reconcile withme. One came back after two months, theother was eight months. After notjumping on either opportunity, they chose their backup options and married. Both are DIVORCED. The latter example was only married threemonths and she tried to reconcile with me again.

 

If you're wondering about the third person, she is my mostrecent EX. She became engaged only weeksafter we terminated. Long story....onthat one. I have not heard from her inseven months and have no idea if I will as this case is odd. I've heard she married after eight weeks but that is unconfirmed and the source wasn't sure either...but it doesn't matter and only serves to help you understand my experiences.

 

Anyway, I don't have a point in any of this nor can I giveyou specific advice, I can only tell youthat when the first two mentioned examples returned...it just was not thesame.

 

The thrill; the excitement; the passion;was at a much lower level.

 

I will tell you this as well...I was pining for both andwhen they came forward with attempts to reconcile, it gave me all the CLOSURE Ineeded. I felt complete and it did speedthe healing process and the person I thought so highly of during the pining period appeared pathetic to me.

 

Sorry, I cannot address your situation with specifics whichare meaningful to you, but frankly no one can. Not only is everyone different in so many ways, so are our EX and withthat many variables on both sides of a lost relationship there is no predictabilitytotally applicable to you...

[Nicoleiia]

Well, my ex's "rebound" was not a "rebound" at all. They are married now. But in my experiences with ex's, I know that they think about us from time to time. And eventually, that honeymoon period for them will come to a close and usually years down the line they come back to "check on you". So, that's good enough for me.

[hellischrome]

I feel a bit sorry for your girl... looks like you are the only one who doesn't see it yet. If he wanted to be with you... he would be with you. Clearly, at this stage he wants to be with someone else. Is good that you go out and do stuff, it will take time to completely let him go - and that's normal. Let time pass and you will realise you won't be asking yourself questions anymore. All I could suggest is stop talking about it with your friends (I mean that you shouldn't know anything about it).

 

Regarding the pictures, it's not strange at all. I broke up with my ex after 7 years and got together with another guy (who, by the way, left me cause I was his rebound!). But even if I dumped my ex his pics are still there on my facebook, no point in deleting them, they are happy memories. And I will never go back with him, because I don't want to. No matter what.