Why do you guys say they want to be friends and keep tabs on your dating life?

[sportygirl84]

This is a very confusing situation I have going on.

 

I met someone a month ago that I liked at first and we've been dating for about a month now except now we are not dating and we are just friends and I feel utterly confused about the whole thing.

 

In that duration of the 1 month period, we were constantly fighting or him "getting upset about things he shouldn't of and pushing my buttons when he had no right to". For example, he would get upset if I made other plans when he made plans with his boys and by the end of the night, he couldn't see because I just was too tired. He wouldn't communicate to me about his plans and expect me to be there? Another thing, was there was no definition of what we were to one another. He got upset over the fact that he took his profile down for the whole time (we met online) and I kept mine up because I wasn't taking him serious. It upset him so bad, he ignored me for 4 days. And he claimed it wasn't fair that I had mine up the whole time. It was stupid! And he kept telling me to keep it up when I had taken it down so he would feel better about everything!

 

We got into probably our biggest fight yet mainly because of lack of communication. I told him I wanted to have a break, have some space, take a step back because of what he had told me last time we hung out - which was he couldn't see us going further as bf & gf because I lived with my parents. I took huge offense to that... I got very sick last year and almost died, so I've been recovering and rebuilding my life. I feel like if you want to be with the person, then just be with them regardless of their situation. What do you have to lose anyway? Another thing that escalated was the fact his brother ended up hitting on me and causing A LOT OF DRAMA... I had enough which added to me wanting a break.

 

The fight escalated where we both told each other to have a nice life but he came back apologizing for being completely out of line and told me he couldn't loose me this way so we talked. And now we're "just friends". He told me he doesn't want a relationship and just wants a friendship that can build into a relationship.

 

So I told him that's fine we can be friends but you aren't holding my hand or kissing me good night anymore. If we decide to date - that's different but if we are going to be friends, we are going to be friends. He told me that was going to be really hard for him but that he would make that work and respect me.

 

I feel so confused about this whole thing! I care about this guy and I know he cares about me but I don't get how he can just sit there and pretend he doesn't like anymore and then freak out about me putting up my dating profile again and told me I can date other people...that I have that freedom now. He asked me 5x in a 2 hour phone call if I would be putting up my profile again.

 

What is wrong with him!? I am ready to smack him not literally but you know what I mean!

 

Am I going things about the right way by playing the friend card and no physicalness anymore?

 

Thanks!

[MrTurk]

Am I going things about the right way by playing the friend card and no physicalness anymore?

 

 

Sounds to me like he is willing to accept just any status you give him....as long as he is able to keep tabs on you. I would not be surprised if he tries to weasel his way back in to a dating/physical relationship with you down the road.

 

He wanted everything his way before, and just expected you to follow him around. You didnt even date him for a month, and he was already whining like a baby to take your profile down. Why? Because he was deathly afraid you might find another guy. He wanted you off the market.

 

He made his own plans....but "wanted you there" so he could keep his eye on you, and make sure another guy wouldnt snatch you up. I would tell the guy to hit the road. I think he sounds like a text book manipulator.

 

Maybe some other people on here can chime in and give their 2 cents.

[coffeebean201]

Sounds to me like he is willing to accept just any status you give him....as long as he is able to keep tabs on you. I would not be surprised if he tries to weasel his way back in to a dating/physical relationship with you down the road.

 

He wanted everything his way before, and just expected you to follow him around. You didnt even date him for a month, and he was already whining like a baby to take your profile down. Why? Because he was deathly afraid you might find another guy. He wanted you off the market.

 

He made his own plans....but "wanted you there" so he could keep his eye on you, and make sure another guy wouldnt snatch you up. I would tell the guy to hit the road. I think he sounds like a text book manipulator.

 

Maybe some other people on here can chime in and give their 2 cents.

 

Thanks for explaining. Some of these guys can be really confusing with the mixed signals.