angmierz Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Been dating for three yrs, he is 25 yrs old and I am 23. Within the past four months or so, his joking has been focused to my body imperfections. I use to brush it off and make fun of his as well. We would always make up and forget about it. Now I cant stand it anymore! His jokes are almost daily and it ranges from small remarks to actually grabbing my skin and jokingly pinching a few inches. All of this had started more arguments and I have tried to tell him multiple times that he has hurt my feelings and he pisses me off. He gets defensive and covers it up with I was just joking, Why do you take it so series? I still love you. He jokes with me more than he actually says I love you. Why is he acting this way? I don't understand why he doesn't listen to me. What do I have to do to put him back in his place? He is acting like a child & I need a man.
SantistaUSA Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 That's very disrespectful of him. He is 25 and should know better, if you tell him to stop and keeps doing it then there's more to it. I guarantee if you make fun of his manhood he would be pissed as hell!
hoping2heal Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I would be annoyed too by the joking alone, especially the pinching..wtf?! But what would really steam my carrots is if I told my boyfriend this was bothering me and instead of ceasing the behavior, he tried to turn it around on ME with the "I'm just joking". Maybe the next time he tries grabbing at a few inches of skin, you should reach your hand down his pants and say "I wanted to grab a few extra inches too but unfortunately you come up short." "What babe? I'm just joking..don't overreact" He's putting you down and it's probably his own insecurity the man-child. 4
MrCastle Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 If you make fun of his penis he'll stop the sh*t. But, really -- what kind of relationship is it where people are trying to one up each other with body image jokes? Tell him very seriously if he continues with it, you'll leave him--and if he does, do it. 10
Eggplant Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 It's passive aggressive verbal abuse. All abusive partners use the "it's a joke" excuse. Hate to tell you, and you already know it I'm sure: big red flag. 1
todreaminblue Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 thats mean, my sis had someone who use to do things like this to her,she is actually thin but has a tummy she is self conscious about....i think she is beautiful...... this is really damaging behavior .....my sis is no longer with the guy that used to do this to her.... if he doesnt stop doing this to you talk to him seriously..........for your own esteem and personal well being..... leave him.........hugs....best wishes...deb 1
Drseussgrrl Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Yep - or the old "You're too sensitive" line. Uh, no you're just being an *********. That's just so mean. 1
Eggplant Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Yep - or the old "You're too sensitive" line. Uh, no you're just being an *********. That's just so mean. And for the record, it's okay to be sensitive around significant others. SO should be a source of support, not stress. The SO should think about the "joke" and evaluate what good may come from it and what bad may come from it. In this case, I believe the boyfriend is attacking on purpose in order to degrade the OP's self esteem. Insecure people do this a lot.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Magnifying glass to the crotch. Then BF to the curb.
veggirl Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Ok I agree but not gonna lie this girl in my sorority had a boyfriend and she said he used to grab at her and pinch her problem areas and tell her she should lose weight and she is marrying him in a few months so yeah... I mean obviously it worked out for them No she prob has **** self esteem now and just thinks she can't do better. OP just tell him to quit it because you aren't interested in dating a mean guy. And if he won't, re-assess... He's doing it cause he is insecure about something regarding himself, since it seems to have sprouted in the last 4 mos. He wants to make you feel bad so he feels better. He needs to grow up, sounds like you haven't had a real convo about it, just said something when he does it. You need to bring it up at a neutral time.
RogerWallace111 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 He sounds like a stupid douche, and I'd guess it's his way of hinting that he'd find you more attractive if you were thinner. He thinks it would be a dick move to tell you outright (which it would), so instead he's slowly, passive-aggressively f*cking with you.
RogerWallace111 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 No she prob has **** self esteem now and just thinks she can't do better. OP just tell him to quit it because you aren't interested in dating a mean guy. And if he won't, re-assess... He's doing it cause he is insecure about something regarding himself, since it seems to have sprouted in the last 4 mos. He wants to make you feel bad so he feels better. He needs to grow up, sounds like you haven't had a real convo about it, just said something when he does it. You need to bring it up at a neutral time. Really..? I wouldn't think so but maybe I just can't relate cause I'm not the type who'd take my own insecurity out on someone else. Maybe frustration/anger with something in the relationship I suppose... Though of course never in the same manner as this turd.
MrCastle Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Ok I agree but not gonna lie this girl in my sorority had a boyfriend and she said he used to grab at her and pinch her problem areas and tell her she should lose weight and she is marrying him in a few months so yeah... I mean obviously it worked out for them Low self esteem is a real problem.
MrTurk Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Ok I agree but not gonna lie this girl in my sorority had a boyfriend and she said he used to grab at her and pinch her problem areas and tell her she should lose weight and she is marrying him in a few months so yeah... I mean obviously it worked out for them LOL just because they are getting married is no proof that it worked out! You think every couple that gets married has no repressed issues??? 1
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