MarkV Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Hi,just some advice. Me and my girlfriend of eight months broke up on Tuesday. Since the day I met her she has been a very head strong girl but we have a fantastic connection and get on so well. About two months ago we broke up for three weeks because she found out that my best female friend had stayed over my place shortly before we met and that years ago we had a silly drunken kiss which was laughed about and actually made us better friends. She is like one of the boys and me and my other boy mates and my friend occasionally have beers together etc. my girlfriend thinks that I have a serious history with her and that there MUST be feelings there. She thinks I've kept things from her. I told her everything and that my past is my past for a reason,hence why I don't talk about it. I never ask about her past. Anyways we got back together and things were great but I do admit that I've distanced myself from my friend to save my relationship but occasionally she will text to catch up,nothing more. I have no feelings for my friend at all and i would trust her with my life.My girlfriend always makes little comments about girls that I know, Facebook pics etc and I found myself treading on egg shells in case she doesn't like the things I tell her. I work in a gym where there are lots of people and when I discuss my work she gets defensive. Her ex's have all hurt her. When my friend text me the other day she saw it and got angry again saying that I looked sheepish etc. I openly shoŵed her the text and told her of the sacrifices that I've made and that I can't completely push my friend out of my life,as like all my friends we have been mates for years. My girlfriend text me yesterday with small talk about a job I may be interested in. I replied and it was pleasant. We've had little tiffs before and worked through them but I feel this time it's it. She is in secure and my friends feel like ill be grinder down the longer I stay with this jealous girl (their words)..advice would be great,thanks
darkmoon Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) this friend, she does not have to text you, not really life and death if she has to be told to back away for a while, you say she is "one of the boys" which is another way of saying that she is well-placed to be and do anything and your male friends will approve, even bad-mouthing your girlfriend in favour of her your girlfriend is only human, jealousy is painful, and yet she is the baddie out of the two of them? no matter, if I were her, I would tell you to scr*w the friend while I look for a man who can be reliably be on my side, sorry, but if you can't provide loyalty, it's not great Edited July 26, 2013 by darkmoon 1
Author MarkV Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 Thanks for your response dark moon. I am 100 per cent loyal to her and did tell my fried to back off for a while. When she text me on Tuesday it was the first time I'd heard from her in ages and she fully understood why i had to dstance myself. None of my friends bad mouth my girlfriend as she became part of my group of friends and everyone really likes her. When my friend text me I cut the conversation short and even showed my girlfriend the txt
darkmoon Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) Thanks for your response dark moon. I am 100 per cent loyal to her and did tell my fried to back off for a while. When she text me on Tuesday it was the first time I'd heard from her in ages and she fully understood why i had to dstance myself. None of my friends bad mouth my girlfriend as she became part of my group of friends and everyone really likes her. When my friend text me I cut the conversation short and even showed my girlfriend the txt okay, but the friend has not been gone away long enough, not long enough for your girlfriend to feel happy, if you are in love with girlfriend, I think you should block the friend's number, loyalty see and really I think she was presumptuous in texting you out of the blue like that, all she did was cause drama, you do not fancy this friend, but some would say that she wishes that you did, she chimed in already while you're alone with your girlfriend next, one day, she will need you to cry to, and cuddle, yada yada.... Edited July 26, 2013 by darkmoon
jesse93 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 honestly no girl you're in a relationship with would want you to have a best friend like that its hard to trust you when you have a girlfriend and a best girl friend i don't think you should need a girl best friend anyway if you have a girlfriend she should be your best friend and your lover. if you truly love her i would get rid of your best friend. My ex girlfriend had a best boy friend who i hated so much because they would say "I love you" to each other and even had nick names for each other and it made me jealous it made me feel like they were a thing and i was just the guy on the side, so yea i suggest gettin rid of the best girl friend if you truly love your girlfriend.
esteem-jam Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 As someone said it takes respect, communication and trust to make a RS work. The former 2 things are present, the latter is in question. Its good you are still together, so this is perfectly fixable. You spend more time with your girl, extra flowers and going to places. You could even do a cold shower to her - you could take your GF with you to hang out with your buddies and that girl-boy friend. You hang out and do stuff in this big company, but you hold your GFs arm all the time and be protective of her. That way she will understand herself who is who here.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Hi,just some advice. Me and my girlfriend of eight months broke up on Tuesday. Since the day I met her she has been a very head strong girl but we have a fantastic connection and get on so well. About two months ago we broke up for three weeks because she found out that my best female friend had stayed over my place shortly before we met and that years ago we had a silly drunken kiss which was laughed about and actually made us better friends. She is like one of the boys and me and my other boy mates and my friend occasionally have beers together etc. my girlfriend thinks that I have a serious history with her and that there MUST be feelings there. She thinks I've kept things from her. I told her everything and that my past is my past for a reason,hence why I don't talk about it. I never ask about her past. Anyways we got back together and things were great but I do admit that I've distanced myself from my friend to save my relationship but occasionally she will text to catch up,nothing more. I have no feelings for my friend at all and i would trust her with my life.My girlfriend always makes little comments about girls that I know, Facebook pics etc and I found myself treading on egg shells in case she doesn't like the things I tell her. I work in a gym where there are lots of people and when I discuss my work she gets defensive. Her ex's have all hurt her. When my friend text me the other day she saw it and got angry again saying that I looked sheepish etc. I openly shoŵed her the text and told her of the sacrifices that I've made and that I can't completely push my friend out of my life,as like all my friends we have been mates for years. My girlfriend text me yesterday with small talk about a job I may be interested in. I replied and it was pleasant. We've had little tiffs before and worked through them but I feel this time it's it. She is in secure and my friends feel like ill be grinder down the longer I stay with this jealous girl (their words)..advice would be great,thanks Since you already broke up this probably doesn't matter with this girl (who sounds jealous and insecure), but for next time some advice. Your X girlfriend was uncomfortable because of something. Or more than one something. Am I right? So next time explain the embarrassing drunken error in judgment by saying you kissed but it felt like kissing your sister, or something that better explains the moment and does not leave a SECRET between you and the friend. So huge assumptions here on things you never said...but I am going to guess. You never mentioned the kissing (or whatever) so she assumes you are hiding other stuff. You explained why, but it comes off as dishonest. .... Also...Girls get girls. We KNOW how we think. Maybe xgf met the girl and got the possessive vibe from her? This is a secret, "he belongs to me" thing girls put out even if they don't want the guy. (Like dogs peeing on their territory) Whatever the friend feels for you, or not, her hanging around encroaches on an unstable relationship. How would you feel if heterosexual guy hangs with your xgirl and her friends? That he wants to do them...right? Same thing. Doesn't necessarily mean its true, but odds are it is. And the kiss mistake validates that sexual chemistry at least was there. A girl who has her own guy is not texting a male friend all the time...KWIM? So if you want stuff to work out with another girl you have to find a way for her not to feel like the girl takes priority over the gf.
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