Vivian24 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) Im 24 years old and have been with B (35) for about a year. Our relationship was long distance the first 7 months then he moved to another state to be with me. Our relationship is great. He took me to chicago to meet all his family and was so open about how much he loves me. He tells me he loves me everyday and calls me beautiful and takes me out and is Very kid to my family. He's has most of the qualities im looking for in a man and besides an argument here and there Im happy with him. He appriciates and loves me and treats me very nice as i do for him. We've talk about all the serious stuff. Such as marriage( he took me to look at rings!) /kids / finances. Hes never given a reason for me not to trust him and he seems honest and open about his feelings with me. I have an issue with him going on a guys trip because of one of his friends I haven't met yet( he lives in another state) but hes basically B's best fiend and the talk all the time. He seems to be in a very unhappy marriage and constantly talks and sends pictures of other girls with my boyfriend. My boyfriend was showing me a funny joke he had sent him and i noticed my boyfriend was talkig about what i cooked for him earlier and how much he likes my cooking and the reply from his friend said something like" she seems great! Marry her! But only after Miami" .. Well that threw me off and i immediately started thinking about what he means by that and over analyzing an basically driving myself nuts with crazy ideas. i realize he needs his friends and space. Specially since he moved to be with me leaving everyone behind. But i just seem to hate the thought of a "guys trip" i think mainly because of my own imagination of what goes on in it... Im trying very hard to not let it bother me and not come across as selfish an controlling. When we met i always thought since he is older hes more likely over the "party" siene but hes actually quiet the social butterfly. We have a lot in common but I think our ways of thinking is really different when it comes to "going out" with out your partner while youre in a serious relationship. Im really trying to compromise and not bug him too much about this and we've talked about it an he reassured me that im his one and only and he will be just hanging out with his friends. I believe him. I trust him... So why am i feeling so miserable about him being there? Is it normal or am I just an insecure girlfriend? Edited July 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and edited title
therhythm Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) In a relationship you need to trust your partner... if you don't trust him you will always find reasons to feel threatened and jealousy is a bad companionship in a relationship. I would just let him go and trust him (tell him you trust him before he leaves). If he is worth it he will behave if he is not... well he can always cheat anyway... Edited July 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Deleted quote 2
jphcbpa Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 feels like you do not trust his friend and his friend has a good deal of influence on him. face it, there is nothing we can do to control or change other people. the best thing you can do is tell him to have a great time and enjoy himself. perhaps schedule a girls trip/girl time during the same time frame. he is going to do what he is going to do. you either trust him or you don't. all we can do is control our own actions and thoughts. 1
smile1983 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 feels like you do not trust his friend and his friend has a good deal of influence on him. face it, there is nothing we can do to control or change other people. the best thing you can do is tell him to have a great time and enjoy himself. perhaps schedule a girls trip/girl time during the same time frame. he is going to do what he is going to do. you either trust him or you don't. all we can do is control our own actions and thoughts. That is a good attitude to have.
white Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 He's probably going to be taken to a stripclub. This is a given on a "guys trip", because only guys who like stripclubs force their friends to go on "guys trips". Everyone else just goes on a trip. He probably won't like it much (at 35 I should hope so anyway). 1
Author Vivian24 Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 He's probably going to be taken to a stripclub. This is a given on a "guys trip", because only guys who like stripclubs force their friends to go on "guys trips". Everyone else just goes on a trip. He probably won't like it much (at 35 I should hope so anyway). He has expressed his feelings of strip clubs to me before. He said that when he was in his early 20s he thought of them as a hang out spot for the "single" guys mainly because he didnt know of any "good" places but now he finds them rather disturbing and dirty looking at older men drooling over the dancers . Lol
Drseussgrrl Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I have no problem at all letting my dude go out with his friends. Strip clubs don't bother me, either. My guy never really feels the need for a "guys' night out", though, and always invites me along - I decline sometimes. He usually ends up back at my place anyway, sniffing around for some action. LOL
Author Vivian24 Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 I have no problem at all letting my dude go out with his friends. Strip clubs don't bother me, either. My guy never really feels the need for a "guys' night out", though, and always invites me along - I decline sometimes. He usually ends up back at my place anyway, sniffing around for some action. LOL LOL I wish i could say strip clubs didnt bother me but the thought of it makes me sick! Luckily for me he doesn't like them. He never goes out without me mainly because he has no friends here since he moved! That Makes me feel so selfish even hinting that his guy friend bothers me! I guess i have to learn to cope with my wild imagination and just trust everything will turn out okay
Drseussgrrl Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 LOL I wish i could say strip clubs didnt bother me but the thought of it makes me sick! Luckily for me he doesn't like them. He never goes out without me mainly because he has no friends here since he moved! That Makes me feel so selfish even hinting that his guy friend bothers me! I guess i have to learn to cope with my wild imagination and just trust everything will turn out okay Well - I couldn't date a guy who frequented them. But if there's one involved for a bachelor party I couldn't care less. 1
white Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 LOL I wish i could say strip clubs didnt bother me but the thought of it makes me sick! Luckily for me he doesn't like them. Go to one. You'll very quickly learn not to be sickened but instead amused.
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