joebroz Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Hey everyone! My girlfriend is 19 and was a virgin until she met me. Her parents have always been SUPER strict and kept her like a dog on a leash. This backfired BIG TIME when she went to parties, because she would get incredibly drunk and kiss with 2-3 different guys each time. This really bothers me, because half a year ago (before we'd met) she did this with a 14-year old boy and actually fell in love with him after that. The boy is also a duckface type of gay/bisexual/heterosexual idiot, and this really made me think she is some sort of a pedophile. We've been together for 4 months and we love each other a lot. She even gave me her facebook password and let me read all her messages, because she wants me to know everything about her. (she didn't delete any of her messages either - the flirting, the discussions with her friends - it's all there. I also gave her my password, but my past is not shady at all.) She says she regrets what she did and really doesn't care one tiny bit about the people she made out with, or even the friends she used to go out with. She quit drinking for me, stopped communicating with her dumb friends that used to get her in trouble - the same people she partied with. Now, she's reading books, wants to spend every minute of each day with me and it's more than obvious she's a totally different person. Her past is still eating me inside though. I don't get mad at her for it or anything like that, because she has moved on, but it still REALLY hurts. Why? What can I do about it? Joe
Axee Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Her past is against your held values so it is pricking you right now.. Her past is a deal breaker ONLY if you make it.. She seems completely transparent now.. Give this some more time .. and trust her ..
Mr.Mango Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 She quit drinking for me, stopped communicating with her dumb friends that used to get her in trouble - the same people she partied with. Now, she's reading books, wants to spend every minute of each day with me and it's more than obvious she's a totally different person. Wow man, I'd be happy she made such a turn-around, especially at her age. In all honesty, her history isn't that bad. You even said yourself that most of it was probably a reaction to her strict upbringing. It sounds like she's calmed down and gotten that out of her system, so just enjoy that. The only reason I'd be worried is if she starts to gravitate towards her old behaviors. But you're able to monitor that now huh . 1
therhythm Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Hey everyone! My girlfriend is 19 and was a virgin until she met me. Her parents have always been SUPER strict and kept her like a dog on a leash. This backfired BIG TIME when she went to parties, because she would get incredibly drunk and kiss with 2-3 different guys each time. This really bothers me, because half a year ago (before we'd met) she did this with a 14-year old boy and actually fell in love with him after that. The boy is also a duckface type of gay/bisexual/heterosexual idiot, and this really made me think she is some sort of a pedophile. We've been together for 4 months and we love each other a lot. She even gave me her facebook password and let me read all her messages, because she wants me to know everything about her. (she didn't delete any of her messages either - the flirting, the discussions with her friends - it's all there. I also gave her my password, but my past is not shady at all.) She says she regrets what she did and really doesn't care one tiny bit about the people she made out with, or even the friends she used to go out with. She quit drinking for me, stopped communicating with her dumb friends that used to get her in trouble - the same people she partied with. Now, she's reading books, wants to spend every minute of each day with me and it's more than obvious she's a totally different person. Her past is still eating me inside though. I don't get mad at her for it or anything like that, because she has moved on, but it still REALLY hurts. Why? What can I do about it? Joe Yes I do think you are overreacting... she seems a very nice lady and she has been totally open with you about everything. You should be happy she has chosen to be with you and instead you are wondering about what she was doing before... you are going to ruin it for yourself if you keep that attitude
lishadenise Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 Sounds like she was drawn to someone younger because of her lack of dating experience. I wouldn't hold that against her. She's maturing and becoming a different person with you.
Menina Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 What? She seems normal. Everybody has a past. So what if she hooked up? She's young and the important thing is that she's changed and for the better, I guess she's maturing. I have this rule in which I never ask my dates/bfs about their past, only the std related information. Sometimes the past comes up and sometimes it doesn't, but what I really care about is how he treats me and how he's in the present, with me. Kinda off topic: but what is it with asking for someone's password, maybe is the lawyer in me but it seems like such an invasion on privacy, a relationship should be built on mutual trust but that doesn't mean snooping through their stuff. IMO, sirry if it sounds harsh.
soccerrprp Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 The boy is also a duckface type of gay/bisexual/heterosexual idiot, and this really made me think she is some sort of a pedophile. Joe, she seems to be forthcoming, so, for now, you are over-reacting. The line above worries me more than your girlfriend. Why and how would you think that and continue dating her? And why would you characterize this guy (do you even really know him?) as such? Anyway, good luck.
bentleychic Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 She can't change her past. You either need to accept it or move on.
sdraw108 Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 What? She seems normal. I wasn't aware that it's normal for a 19 year old to make out with / fall in love with a 14 year old. I find this thread very interesting. I wonder how different the replies would have been if the genders of the 19 and 14 year old were reversed. 1
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