Phantom888 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 each of the succeeding dates after the first one were days long btw if that helps at all...I hate to sound crazier than how I feel right now... You are NOT crazy or anything like that. You fell in love within a short amount of time. I am in that same situation. I am deeply in love with a woman whom I have only been with for 2 months. I see her 2-3 times a week, so there is more time to get to know one another. But I don't think 2 months is too short to develop true loving feelings. That said, of course it would be nice if we could protect ourselves before we get hurt. But there was no way you could have known. The connection was perfect in your eyes. Don't beat yourself up for this. It was NOT your fault! You must not give up hope of finding true love. You will not find that love if you don't expose yourself.... In the end it will be well worth it. Just don't give up! Take care of yourself for now, and let yourself heal. Don't rebound, or you might end up with a worse guy than the last! Take some time to spoil yourself because you are wonderful and worth it! Keep positive! I look forward to hearing some good news from you in the near future. Don't let this dude control your destiny. You are the one in control! 1
Author Ok Good Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 You are NOT crazy or anything like that. You fell in love within a short amount of time. I am in that same situation. I am deeply in love with a woman whom I have only been with for 2 months. I see her 2-3 times a week, so there is more time to get to know one another. But I don't think 2 months is too short to develop true loving feelings. That said, of course it would be nice if we could protect ourselves before we get hurt. But there was no way you could have known. The connection was perfect in your eyes. Don't beat yourself up for this. It was NOT your fault! You must not give up hope of finding true love. You will not find that love if you don't expose yourself.... In the end it will be well worth it. Just don't give up! Take care of yourself for now, and let yourself heal. Don't rebound, or you might end up with a worse guy than the last! Take some time to spoil yourself because you are wonderful and worth it! Keep positive! I look forward to hearing some good news from you in the near future. Don't let this dude control your destiny. You are the one in control! Thank you for this...it made me cry but in a validating sort of way...I'm grateful for your insights 1
Divasu Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 OP, I read your first thread, and I think the biggest mistake here was continuing to go forward with things AFTER he told you, that he can only offer friendship. He's not a woman, they typically don't change their minds.
Author Ok Good Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 OP, I read your first thread, and I think the biggest mistake here was continuing to go forward with things AFTER he told you, that he can only offer friendship. He's not a woman, they typically don't change their minds. ?? He never said that
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 I also find his reason for leaving to be a little suspect. It's very possible he was going to see another date, if he's moving to your area in a few months he could be looking to meet more women there. If it was a planned visit to his parent why couldn't he have told you in advance so you wouldn't take a day off work? Sounds more like some opportunity poped up last minute. Even if he didn't lie about his plans he did overreact to your overreaction. But if he was into the relationship as much as you were, the 2 of you would have been able to work this out.
Author Ok Good Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 I also find his reason for leaving to be a little suspect. It's very possible he was going to see another date, if he's moving to your area in a few months he could be looking to meet more women there. If it was a planned visit to his parent why couldn't he have told you in advance so you wouldn't take a day off work? Sounds more like some opportunity poped up last minute. Even if he didn't lie about his plans he did overreact to your overreaction. But if he was into the relationship as much as you were, the 2 of you would have been able to work this out. See I wonder if I was the one that obviously showed that maybe I wasn't mature enough to communicate correctly (not the first time with him) and he bounced when he saw what looked like red flags with me...
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 See I wonder if I was the one that obviously showed that maybe I wasn't mature enough to communicate correctly (not the first time with him) and he bounced when he saw what looked like red flags with me... It's commendable you are willing to look for faults within your own behaviour before blaming others. However at some point you have to consider that maybe he wasn't the nice, genuine guy you thought he was. His "punishment" is disproportionate to your minor "infraction". I don't know if this was the first time you were sexually intimate but if it were, his behaviour is even more inexcusable. You posted in one of your threads something that struck me as a red flag. You said that he was very sure of his feelings for you very early on. Emotionally healthy people don't declare their undying love to someone they've only met a handful of times. This, plus his fading act now leads me to believe he either has some mental problems or is playing a game. There seem to have been a few red flags along the way which you didn't and still don't want to see probably because you crave a connection. But the truth is you're better off alone than with a manipulative, unstable person in your life.
Author Ok Good Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 It's commendable you are willing to look for faults within your own behaviour before blaming others. However at some point you have to consider that maybe he wasn't the nice, genuine guy you thought he was. His "punishment" is disproportionate to your minor "infraction". I don't know if this was the first time you were sexually intimate but if it were, his behaviour is even more inexcusable. You posted in one of your threads something that struck me as a red flag. You said that he was very sure of his feelings for you very early on. Emotionally healthy people don't declare their undying love to someone they've only met a handful of times. This, plus his fading act now leads me to believe he either has some mental problems or is playing a game. There seem to have been a few red flags along the way which you didn't and still don't want to see probably because you crave a connection. But the truth is you're better off alone than with a manipulative, unstable person in your life. There is alot of wisdom in what you are saying, and it is probably because I do crave the connection that we seemed to have been forging that I can't seem to fathom his behavior. At this point I haven't heard from him in almost 2 days and everyone keeps telling me to just hold a steady course, don't text him again, and see what time does with all this, sigh.
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