FebruaryAmor Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 So things have been really horrible in my 1 year rela. I wish I never said yes to him asking me out..all the red flags were there but I ignored them. I was hanging out in his apt and we got in a petty argument. I told him "I think its best I go home now". He put his body in front of the door ans told me "no youre not leaving" . I looked at him nervous like okay seriously I need to get a breath of fresh air. He was like no dont go tjis is stupid. Started putting his hands on his head and pacing in front of door. I was like plz I need to go outside now (I have anxiety and panick in certain situations n best thing for me is to be in open space with fresh air). He looked at me and said I dont wanna go outside. I said this isnt about u! 30 minutes later and 4 cigarettes..I dont even smoke he does..we went outside. 5 mims later hes like ok u ready to go inside ...I said no. He went inside and left me outside to chill out n gave me his apt keys. 20 mins later he scomes out n says "its getting late" I look at him like its 11 30 please. So later that night idk y I went back inside. I tried breaking up with him the nicest way possible. I said I care for u...n love u .. but this is not healthy. We fight everyday. We have communication issues. I feel abused. He looked at me and said.. abused?? I dont hit u I do everything for u I take u out I buy u things... I said but thats not what I want. I wud trade all those things just for us to be able to communicate and respect each other. He cried n said y r u leaving me the day before I leave ?? (Hes goimg away for 3 weeks n im goimg on vaca on sunday). He was like "I will have no one. No one loves me. Ill be alone. Ill have no fun on my trip now." After him pleading..I said I cant please. Then I said lets just have a break and talk again when we both come back to the country. He said can we just wait and see how things go. I was so tired I said fine smh. Then we had sex smh. I regret the sex . So now back at square 1 and I feel so dumb. I know now is the perfect time to leave since I wont see him for 3 weeks. But im so sad... scared.. confused. Idk.
Balzac Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Look if this guy is the definition of crazy and he is just cut off contact. Get a new phone number and keep your apt door locked. It's pretty easy to dump a guy. Not quite seeing your problem here.
Balzac Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I disagree with the concept of explaining anything to him. You have every reason to put your safety first with this guy. You owe him zero. Cut it off. Stick to No Contact. Get a clue and move on.
FitChick Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 You have the perfect opportunity to end it while you are both gone. Go 'No Contact.' Try to meet someone else while you are on vacation to take your mind off of him. When you return, ignore him. So what if he is miserable? You are miserable when you are with him so your only responsibility is to yourself. You already wasted a year which you regret. How many more years will you waste?
Balzac Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Figure out that sad/scared/confused === NEEDY without personal boundaries. That's pretty much just like him.
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 We havent spoke in 2 days. So far its been 2 days nc but I know he will contact me either tonight or tomorrow. I feel like death. These are suppose to be the years of my life but im so sad all the time. I feel bad cuz he makes it seem like its me who causes these fights to the point where I started believing it. Maybe I start a few but I dont like feeling im the one to blame for everything. I may either change my number today or block him. But if I block him I know he can contact me using other ppl phones..email..instagram..fb..twitter. he ll come to my house I see it already.
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 Explain to him its emotional abuse thats the worst kind i was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and the emotional abuse was far worse ironically he will not get better. Itd be smart to leave... Wow the emotional was worse than physical?? Can u explain how? N i feel like how u described. Its what im use to as dumb as that sounds. I have at least 4 suitors that r waiting for me to be single but I find it so hard to leave this guy.
Balzac Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I may either change my number today or block him. But if I block him I know he can contact me using other ppl phones..email..instagram..fb..twitter. he ll come to my house I see it already. Face it you've already handed him your personal power. You're talking victim 101 at the 2 day marker.
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 Face it you've already handed him your personal power. You're talking victim 101 at the 2 day marker. Handed him my personal power? okay. So the best way to regain my power is total no contact right?
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