Phantom888 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I have been exercising rigorously and eating very healthy since I started dating my woman. I want to improve my health so we can have a long and wonderful future together. Although I have always been in decent shape, my blood pressure/cholesterol have not been great. I want to live longer for my children, and now that I have a woman in my life, that's another reason to be healthy. I have lost some weight and gained considerable stamina in the last 2 months. I'm feeling really great. Last night my woman told me she just started taking yoga and pilates. Being a single mom, she has very little flexibility with exercises, so she goes during lunch time. She says I inspire her to want to improve herself. She is a bit chubby, extremely voluptuous, but overall an hourglass figure. I told her I want her to do this for health only, and I would not change a thing about her looks. She is soooooo gorgeous already. She told me she wants to be healthy for our future together, and she's taking this exercise regiment very seriously. I am very happy that she's willing to make changes in her life for us. Have any of you made long-term self improvements for the sake of the relationship? Learning a new skill? Taking classes? Taking steps to improve yourselves while enhancing the relationship? There are obviously sacrifices, and not everyone is willing to take the first step. It all depends on how you see your relationship.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 All the time. My boyfriend and I inspire each other in many different ways - health-wise, career-wise, spiritually. We've been talking more lately about our view of the ideal relationship. For me, it's very important that we inspire each other to be our best, to rise to our higher nature, fulfill our potential as much as we can. If your partner doesn't have that effect on you, I feel like why bother, because you'd be better off on your own. 2
tbf Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Quite frankly, I don't improve myself for anyone else but me. Stagnation is a state worse than death. 3
Mr.Mango Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Quite frankly, I don't improve myself for anyone else but me. Same here. Though I put more effort into improving my character, than my body. Going to the gym to gain muscle/lose some weight is easy compared to changing your behavior and thoughts. I also believe you need to do it for yourself, as you're the only one who can make the change to begin with. People come and go, but you're stuck with yourself for life. 2
Babolat Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I am a work in progress, relationship or not. Being in a relationship will usually cause my "relationship areas for improvment" to surface, and yes, I am always working to improve them. Ready books, sometimes seeing a counselor, trying different things with my partner, usually related to communication or taking care of her needs, etc. I work out with or without a partner, so no issues there. I did notice while dating my ex that she joined a gym and was inspired by me to do so, though I never once asked her to or talked about it as like you she was beatufiul to me the way she was. She use to alwasy tell me "I want to be more like you", which was nice to hear. 2
Babolat Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Same here. Though I put more effort into improving my character, than my body. Going to the gym to gain muscle/lose some weight is easy compared to changing your behavior and thoughts. I also believe you need to do it for yourself, as you're the only one who can make the change to begin with. People come and go, but you're stuck with yourself for life. Agreed, though I think OP was telling us he is getting in shape for health reason, not to look like Mr America.
iris219 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I was single for 5 years before my bf and I worked on myself constantly. My goal was to become the perfect version of myself and I was pretty close to it. It was impossible to maintain this self focus and focus on a relationship. I worked out all the time, had an amazing body, ate super healthy, hardly ever drank, went to bed early, got up early, was super focused on work, etc. My bf did not have the same devotion to improving himself and I've let him influence me negatively. I've let go of some my strict devotion to the lifestyle I had before him because it was incompatible with him in some ways. My bf, on the other hand, has room for overall lifestyle improvement and he's been making positive changes because of me. Bottom line: my relationship has negatively affected me and made me less likely to work to improve myself while it has positively affected my bf and makes him work to improve himself.
Star Gazer Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 If you love her just the way she is now, why are you happy that she's changing herself for "the relationship"? Sounds like double speak to me.
xxoo Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Beware improvements made early in a relationship, inspired by the relationship. When the newness wears off, and the improvements with it, it is often rewritten as "letting oneself go". 2
Author Phantom888 Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 If you love her just the way she is now, why are you happy that she's changing herself for "the relationship"? Sounds like double speak to me. Because there is no down side to exercising and being more healthy. 3
USMCHokie Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Because there is no down side to exercising and being more healthy. Except for the time and effort required. Most people find that with the comfort of being in a relationship, proper nutrition and exercise can be neglected since we are all told that we should love each other "just the way we are"... It's a simple entitlement complex. No one is ever held accountable for themselves.
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