whendofishsleep Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) I'm 33, he's 28- we met online appx 5 months ago. First met in person about 4 months ago...at first we saw each other sporadically- and have been seeing each other 2/week for the past 2 months. he is pretty consistent with texting (although i hate texting and he knows this- he does actually pick up the phone once in a while), we exchange music, books, and e-mail each other interesting links usually on the daily. so- we finally slept together. the sex was nothing to write home about, he finished pretty quickly. we have been very open with each other, and he is working thru some issues in the ED/PE arena, so I wasn't expecting much. I was encouraging/reassuring. But instantly after, he handed me my clothes and quickly put his shirt and boxers on. Literally- within seconds. It was embarrassing. I couldn't stay the night anyways, and said "i better get home". He walked me down the stairs and casually said bye. No hug. No kiss. No walk me to the car. It was awkward. And then... he didn't call. and he didn't call... and he didn't call. He sent a silly text 2 days later (inside joke) which i ignored. 3 days went by, I finally called and asked him if he wanted to join me at a function. We saw each other, I made it clear that he messed up by not calling/texting/emailing. Can't tell if he was genuinely apologetic. But he was willing to listen to me bitch about it for 2 hours.... He has been in contact with me since- and wants to take me out this weekend. I'm just not sure about his character anymore. It was a huge insult for me not to hear from him after we slept together. I told him we shouldn't speak anymore. Before we slept together, he told me he cares about me and wants to be exclusive (via TEXT, ugh) I kinda brushed it aside since it wasn't face-to-face and not sure if I want seriousness at this point. Is it just me, or His words and actions don't add up.? Does this guy deserve another chance? Edited July 26, 2013 by whendofishsleep
Miss_raptor Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 If the sex wasn't great, he was quick to usher you out of bed, and he didn't call or make any contact with you after the act, I'd move on. Maybe he was embarrassed, but that's no reason to treat you like that. 3
Phantom888 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 It's not a good match. He felt it. You felt it. Often times people don't realize incompatibility until after sex. It's normal to discover that at this point in the relationship. If you like him enough, remain as friends. Clearly there lacks sexual chemistry. 1
Philosoraptor Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Sounds like he may have been quite embarassed about his lack of performance. You bitched at him for 2 hours? Ouch. 2
Author whendofishsleep Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 It's not a good match. He felt it. You felt it. Often times people don't realize incompatibility until after sex. It's normal to discover that at this point in the relationship. If you like him enough, remain as friends. Clearly there lacks sexual chemistry. I don't think it's just about the sex though. Like I said- he has some "issues" in that department, side effect of some meds. He's only been with less then a handful of women- and I'm not one to sleep with someone quickly. Or then again, maybe it is just about the sex. Who knows.
Author whendofishsleep Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 Sounds like he may have been quite embarassed about his lack of performance. You bitched at him for 2 hours? Ouch. ahh- i feel terrible about it. had a few drinks and was letting it flow way to freely. but he sat there. and listened. and endured. and told me how much he cares/thinks about me/never felt this way before/wants me to be his girlfriend etc. he has contacted me daily since- but that trust is just gone. maybe he's not the good guy i thought he was. but even a kid would know to contact a girl the next day. that's like relationship 101- right????
clia Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Why would you even want to date a guy who is too dense to realize that it might be appropriate to call you after sex? I don't see why you would even want to continue with him.
Author whendofishsleep Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) Why would you even want to date a guy who is too dense to realize that it might be appropriate to call you after sex? I don't see why you would even want to continue with him. we've been seeing each other for about 4 months-- and i like him. he's funny, smart, he teaches me new things, he's handsome, creative, we laugh a lot- we get along brilliantly and i think about him constantly. That's why I've been dating him. His lack of experience with dating and sex...should I give him the benefit of the doubt? I guess that's what I'm getting at. Or is he just a really good actor who only wanted sex? so, anyone out there: should he get a second chance? Edited July 26, 2013 by whendofishsleep
sdraw108 Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 What was his explanation (during that 2 hour thing) for why he did it? You did ask him, right?
BluEyeL Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Maybe he thought you'll dump him bc of the bad sex he provided and preferred that you call him to reassure him he is OK. I would give him another chance and add this as one data point. If he messes up again to such extent, then move on. You invested 4 months, he listened to you bitch, and he came around.
Recommended Posts