FrustratedGuy91 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) I'll try to keep this as short as possible, but the situation does require some explanation. Quick Background: Had something with a girl, kinda friends with benefits, she started friendzoning me bc she's bi but never was with a girl and wanted to explore her sexuality. She told me that when I confronted her about the friendzone. For that reason I told her it'd be best if we stopped going out, at least just the two of us (We got friends in common). For that same reason I also didn't tell her I was starting to develop feelings for her. Anyway, I ceased all contact with her, and didn't see her for two months. Normally I would've called it a closed case, but during those two months she would constantly initiate contact through FB, it was subtle at first, like she would ask me something she already knew or stuff like that, I would keep the conversations nice but short. Then it escalated a bit by inviting me to hang out with mutual friends, which I refused always with a good reason (Or excuse) then she would ask me when I was going to drop by her workplace so she could get me drunk (She's a bartender at a nightclub) which I would also refuse. Finally she decided to outright ask me out. Her exact words were "You wouldn't go for a drink, would you?" to which I replied "With whom?". To keep it short, she said she'd try to convince some of our friends, but none of them could make it so it was just the two of us. We had a great time and she was super excited to see me, she even ran across the whole bar and gave me a big hug in front of all the staff (They know her, some of them work with her at a night club) and yeah it was awkward for like a minute, tops. After that it all felt so very natural we laughed a lot, drank a lot and ended up having breakfast together. (No, not like that, we went to a coffee shop) Now the bad part. During all that fun she casually mentioned a girl two times, both were conversation relevant but I could assume they're going out as more than friends. So, my doubts regard as to what to do. I want her to be happy, but I also have feelings for her and I think I could make her very happy myself. I've never been in a situation like this before and I'm absolutely clueless. What should I do? Edited July 26, 2013 by FrustratedGuy91
SantistaUSA Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Well all you can do is talk to her, just let her know how you feel, if you don't you will never know. Just be ready for her to shut you down in case she doesn't want a relationship. I would try not to date bartender, I worked as a bouncer once and never saw the bartenders cheating on their SO, but it is stressful when they have to work virtually all night and you just keep wondering what's going on etc. Does it bother you that she might have hooked up with another woman? Or that she might prefer women over men overall?
BradJacobs Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 My experiece has been that bi FWBs are good for threesomes, not usually for relationships. Of course I'm not into open relationships though ... your definitions might be different. Ask her? That's where I'd start. Good luck.
white Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 You treat it exactly as you would a straight woman telling you there was another man. If that isn't tolerable to you then it isn't FWB is it? If it is tolerable then... you already called her a FWB and you already knew she was bi, so what's your point.
Author FrustratedGuy91 Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 The fact that there's someone else doesn't bother me, at least not now... I want something with her. From where I see it I can either step aside now, or try to make my way back with her. My problem is that I never had feelings like these before so I'm not exactly sure on how or when to tell her (If at all).
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