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Would it bother you if your partner was attracted to you only because of personality?

PJKino

By PJKino
in General Relationship Discussion

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xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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I do know what physical attraction do to women... believe me I know that...

Not to all of course but I am a living proof of what I am telling you.

 

As I said, I understand that women, including me, can be very effected by physical attraction.

 

I'm just saying there is an alternative. And in answer to the OP, I don't care where the sexual attraction derives from, as long as it is strong.

ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

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Guys.... you are losing the main point of the thread... we are not talking about having only physical attraction... If you see my first post (see bellow in bold) I also need a person to like me for my personality.

 

The point is, would you want to be with someone who doesn't find you physically attractive? My answer is still no

I know, we already addressed the question. I said if she didn't find me physically attractive it would be a deal breaker. The question was raised to me that if she didn't experience physical attraction in the way most people do, would I reconsider - I said yes.

Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

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Oh. I need attraction. Big time.

 

I personally need a guy who loves to hug me, hold me and who is massively turned on by me (albeit not all the time, I mean, we have to relax and be able to just watch tv and be together without the sexual component of the relationship!)

 

I am into a guy who just cannot keep his hands off me. Which I love.

 

Great relationships, for me, require respect, understanding, communication, and the ability to get very close through PHYSICAL intimacy.

 

It is just a big, key part of a relationship. I would rather be their FRIEND if we are not sexually into each other.

 

My ex was not as attracted to me as I would have liked. He was at times but in the whole, he did not stare into my face and feel massively attracted. Sex was great but something was missing from his part.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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The bottom line is that if you want to be attractive you have no choice but to work with what you have. That INCLUDES your personality.

 

If you are committed to being a moaning person I don't think you're helping your chances of any women getting all swoony over you.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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Sorry, maybe I lost the thread of the thread.

 

Put that way, I agree. It's very important for me to be physically attractive to my wife. A sub-plot here is that I have to do my part to make sure I am.

 

Man-scaping?

GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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Man-scaping?

 

Heaven forbid. I revel in my hirsuteness. "Behold my hair, woman, and braid it."

 

I was thinking more along the lines of being engaging, funny, and keeping in shape. Or as good a shape as a 51-year-old dude can aspire to, anyways.

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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I was thinking more along the lines of being engaging, funny, and keeping in shape. Or as good a shape as a 51-year-old dude can aspire to, anyways.

 

I'm sure your lucky wife sees you as a veritable Adonis. A hairy one.

  • Like 1
carhill Established Member

carhill

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Would it bother you if your partner was attracted to you only because of personality?

 

I doubt any significant odds of that happening in real life would apply but, theoretically, at my age, I'd have no problem with that, so wouldn't be 'bothered'.

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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It would only concern me if they'd originally found me physically attractive (and that was important to them) and they lost their attraction to me that way over time.

 

I'd want to do whatever I could (within reason) to remain physically attractive to him. I think it is very important to take care of oneself physically, emotionally, and intellectually...

 

OTOH, if it were someone new I was meeting... and outward appearance was never all that important to them, yet they found something else about me that made them 'desire' me strongly... then no worries.

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PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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As I said, I understand that women, including me, can be very effected by physical attraction.

 

I'm just saying there is an alternative. And in answer to the OP, I don't care where the sexual attraction derives from, as long as it is strong.

 

Which is why its easier the better looking you are becasue you create that lust and hot attraction in women by just walking by them and without them even knowing your personality you can get women hot and attracted to you

 

Blah loking guys have to be trmendous in other aspects to try to create that attraction and even then if theyres no physical attraction the majority of women wont give the guy a chance

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
Which is why its easier the better looking you are becasue you create that lust and hot attraction in women by just walking by them and without them even knowing your personality you can get women hot and attracted to you

 

Blah loking guys have to be trmendous in other aspects to try to create that attraction and even then if theyres no physical attraction the majority of women wont give the guy a chance

 

How would you feel if a woman were very sexually attracted to you, but not because of your appearance? Would you be satisfied?

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

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Lets say you somehow found out that your partner was attracted to you because of your personality but didnt find you particularly physically attractive would it not matter to you? would it bother you at all?

 

Heck no! I'd finally get on my knees and say, "Thank you, Lord for providing me someone who isn't so darned shallow! Who likes me for me!"

 

Anyhow, sounds extreme, but partially true...actually the person is attracted to the "overall package" sometimes a person's personality may over power their looks, and thus makes them attractive.

 

I mean, I've seen tons of short, unattractive men with knock-out ladies quite a lot lately and I look at those couples and figure "Hm, that means I still have a chance!"

 

Gives me hope. LOL

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PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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How would you feel if a woman were very sexually attracted to you, but not because of your appearance? Would you be satisfied?

 

In my position id take any women im attracted to be attracted to me since its never happend before:laugh: but id be a little hurt if she thought i wasnt attractive physically at all

iris219 Established Member

iris219

Posted
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Which is why its easier the better looking you are becasue you create that lust and hot attraction in women by just walking by them and without them even knowing your personality you can get women hot and attracted to you

 

Blah loking guys have to be trmendous in other aspects to try to create that attraction and even then if theyres no physical attraction the majority of women wont give the guy a chance

 

Actually, women generally don't work this way.

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PJKino Established Member

PJKino

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Actually, women generally don't work this way.

 

Im good friends with a good looking guy i see the effect it has on women spare me the women arent visual like men stuff some may not but alot are,ive seen women cant get extremely hot for him simply because of his looks

Mme. Chaucer Established Member

Mme. Chaucer

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Im good friends with a good looking guy i see the effect it has on women spare me the women arent visual like men stuff some may not but alot are,ive seen women cant get extremely hot for him simply because of his looks

 

That's SteveC80 right?

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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it is possible to feel something for someone in the beginning that may not be based in the physical......but i think for a relationship to develop past friendship there has to be physical desire there to want to be with that person...why would anyone want to be in a relationship where one person didnt find the other attractive......deb

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supaflyz Established Member

supaflyz

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This is an interesting thread. I'm not all that good looking. I even had some girls called me "ugly" after I didn't go out with them. This was in high school though. I also get turn down a lot but that is only normal. My other 2 brothers are very good looking although they don't really care about their looks anymore because they are working so much now and have fiance lol. They do get more women than me. I know that for sure.

 

Anyways there was this girl whom my friend introduce me to a few years back in college. At first I didn't think much about her. Her hair was a mess that day. She didn't put on any make up either. Usually I think women look much better without make up in the first place. So we started talking in class. My friend who introduce us transfer to another college the upcoming semesters. She and I took the same class together that semester. I had other friends in the class, but I just sat next to her all the time. We had lunch after class everyday. I grew a deep attraction to her. I found out that she was really intelligent, nice, sweet, and can carry a conversation not revolving sex or drugs.

 

I fell head and heels over her. This was the first woman that I fell for because of her personality. Then one night I saw her at the club. She was beautiful! Too bad I waited too long to ask her out. We were friends for 1 1/2 years before I ask her out. SHe also happen to like another guy at the time.

crude Established Member

crude

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What about people who are born deformed or who were disfigured in an accident? They're not attractive and never will be. Isn't it possible for someone to love them for their personality?

RogerWallace111 Established Member

RogerWallace111

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The line between attraction to personality and to physical appearance is very blurry. Usually enough attraction to the personality will lead to physical attraction. It can't imagine a "romantic" situation where there isn't some physical desire for the other person... It would have just halted at friendship.

 

Though I suppose if one courted & coaxed their way into someone else's life and cajoled them into "giving them a chance", a situation like that might arise.

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RogerWallace111 Established Member

RogerWallace111

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How would you feel if a woman were very sexually attracted to you, but not because of your appearance? Would you be satisfied?

 

I think this is the question.

 

There isn't any steadfast link between attraction & what an objective assessment of someone's appearance would be unless you're talking straight sex without the utterance of a word to one another.

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RogerWallace111 Established Member

RogerWallace111

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Say a woman is lusting after, I don't know, David Hasselhoff. And it's based strictly on appearance. She sees him at a hotel, goes to approach him, and he makes a dickhead comment to her, brushing her off. She's not gonna keep thinking about him like she had been. Probably never once again. Unless she's a masochistic hoe.

Tinie Established Member

Tinie

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It wouldn't bother me.

 

That's the way I function. The physical attraction doesn't need to be there at first. For example, I started liking a guy at work who was not attractive WHATSOEVER. Seriously he's like, 4/10. He's got a great personality though, he makes me laugh so easily and I felt myself open up to him in no time. Because I established an emotional connection to him, I became physically attracted to him since he represented to me all those things that I liked about his personality. And it is physical attraction, seriously I've lost track of the sexual fantasies I've had about this guy lol.

 

That's not the first time it's happened to me. There have been guys who got along great with me, and were extremely attractive (like 8, 9), but honestly I've never been interested in them at all.

 

I find someone physically attractive easily after I've established something emotional with them.

tbf Established Member

tbf

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Bluntly speaking, I've yet to meet a man who didn't put looks and sexual attraction first. It's how reasonably sized a piece of the attraction pie he allocates towards the superficial that makes him a worthwhile man to emotionally invest in.

 

So, as it relates to a partner being strictly attracted to personality, I don't think it's a very common occurrence with men.

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