NomiMalone Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I'm at almost 5 weeks post break-up and almost 4 weeks since I saw him last. Moving out of his place and tearing myself from him was the hardest thing I've ever done. Bit by bit, I've started to become stronger, cooking myself a meal and doing laundry (week 3), back to the gym (week 4), back to dance class (week 5, this week), and next week I plan to give notice to an office job I've not enjoyed for quite some time. I've found that evenings after work have been the worst. I've tried to keep my weekends full of outings with girl friends to keep myself occupied, but when I'm alone, sadness overwhelms me at times. Tonight I finished a dance class feeling on top of the world, but as soon as I stepped outside the door, I was hit with a sudden wave of sadness and pain at having to spend another evening without him, and just missed him so bad, and almost broke down in the car. Although I feel like I'm moving forward step by step, I still cry every day.* Can someone please tell me whether you ever fully recover if you're still in love with the other person? Thank you so much.
supaflyz Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Yes you can fully recover. Some memories will always be there though. I know plenty of people who have fully recover from a relationship. The span of the relationships last from months to years. 1
Garfish Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Maybe you should think back and try to find reasons why you shouldn't have loved that person in the first place. Or remember all the BS that they put you through. Well, I don't know if that will work but I'm trying it. Then there's the old standby of how to drive out a nail, with another nail. 1
jesse93 Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 of course you can move on, i know the pain feels like it'll be there forever but you won't feel this pain forever eventually it will ease down and it will become easier for you. I have a friend who broke up with a girl and for a whole year or more he would talk about her every day would cry all the time would try and get her back, but eventually he just gave up and its been 2 years since then i still talk to him and he still talks about her from time to time, but in more of a positive light remembering the good memories they had but the memories dont affect him anymore like they use to. 1
Author NomiMalone Posted July 28, 2013 Author Posted July 28, 2013 Thanks everyone for your replies and words of wisdom. Supaflyz and Jesse, I'm glad there's proof that it gets better! Garfish, I had to google "to drive out a nail..." Requested NC for the nth time last night, but woke up to yet more "I miss you" type texts, so I finally lost it and sent him 2 angry, hurtful ones. I'm doing my best to move the hell on from his hurtful actions and he has not respected my need for space to heal at all, nor offered to change the way he behaved in our relationship and provide some form of compromise. I hate that things have ended like this, but requesting space politely has clearly not worked. I am just so upset and heartbroken right now.
Author NomiMalone Posted July 28, 2013 Author Posted July 28, 2013 Wow, I am actually really furious. I didn't know I could ever feel this angry and frustrated about him. The angry phase of grief has kicked in!
keepontruckin Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Wow, I am actually really furious. I didn't know I could ever feel this angry and frustrated about him. The angry phase of grief has kicked in! What you are feeling, I have felt for my soon to be ex wife... She did walk out on me. I want to be distrustful of women in general, but again the proof is positive that it works both ways... It sucks, I know... For now, I will continue to get drunk and listen to rockabilly:laugh: 1
Author NomiMalone Posted July 28, 2013 Author Posted July 28, 2013 Thank you aspiringguitarheroine for the kind words and encouragement. It's reassuring to know it's true what they say about time healing all wounds 1
keepontruckin Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 If Nomi lived close, I'd bring the booze over, and crank up the rockabilly:laugh: 2
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted July 28, 2013 Posted July 28, 2013 Nomi, Its now morning, and you made it! Just like all of us, it gets better! 1
Author NomiMalone Posted July 29, 2013 Author Posted July 29, 2013 Thanks everyone for your kind replies. Keepontruckin you definitely made me smile!* Had an excellent day today - resigned from an office job that paid a pittance, and finished off with an evening dance class. To everyone in the same boat, I highly, highly recommend doing activities you love, and taking classes. Learning and socializing works wonders
Author NomiMalone Posted July 31, 2013 Author Posted July 31, 2013 Week 6: The last 2 days have been really tough, just miss him so bad. Its like I've taken 10 steps backwards in my healing. Had to text him today to tell him I've decided not to move interstate as planned (as, upon resigning from my office job, I was offered a 60% pay rise to stay), and thought it'd be poor form for him to find out from a third party that I wasn't moving after all. Of course this started a text conversation and I felt like crap all over again. F***.
unexpectedlyhere Posted July 31, 2013 Posted July 31, 2013 Well done on the 60% raise though! Don't feel like crap because you caved in. You did what you thought was best at the time. Now resume what you were doing and don't look back 1
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