Ditapage Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 At my new job there's more girls than guys. There's this one guy they're all in love with. Since I've been there, the "new girl" he's been giving me the eye, we've been gazing at each other, and he's been getting noticeably upset/cold when I talk to the very few other guys there. Hes always hanging around. Instinct says he likes me...but today a female friend of his (who is married so why would she lie to me about him?) told me he doesn't want a girlfriend. But that's the story he's given so far to subtly reject the girls already there. With me, he acts different. But after she told me this I just want to start avoiding him to protect my feelings. But he's been showing interest and I feel like its unfair of me to just start avoiding him because of what this girl told me. First she asked me rather accusingly (and out of nowhere) if I liked him. Then quickly covered the bluntness with "because everyone likes him." Should I take her word for it or just keep talking to him like I have been? Ps the girl doesn't really like me...I catch her staring at me a lot & though she's married she hangs around with this guy often and her friend is in love with him. (But he doesn't like her & distances himself from her)
HeartDesires Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 With me, he acts different. Yeah right. I've worked with tons of jerks like this. Just wait until another new girl starts there and he distances himself from you.
salparadise Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 That other woman is jealous. Doesn't matter if she's married. The guy is attractive, he's not going for these other women who are swooning all over him, and he's showering you with attention. That's enough to drive them crazy. Be careful though, if you go for it with him you're likely to suffer the wrath of these other women, and you really don't know what his intentions are. You could end up pumped, dumped and hated. I say avoid this workplace soap opera altogether, and if it should develop that you and the guy want to date seriously, get another job.
Author Ditapage Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) That other woman is jealous. Doesn't matter if she's married. The guy is attractive, he's not going for these other women who are swooning all over him, and he's showering you with attention. That's enough to drive them crazy. Be careful though, if you go for it with him you're likely to suffer the wrath of these other women, and you really don't know what his intentions are. You could end up pumped, dumped and hated. I say avoid this workplace soap opera altogether, and if it should develop that you and the guy want to date seriously, get another job. Thank you for this great advice. You're right on about a lot of things. I am not so naïve to think just because she's married she has no attraction to him. I found it weird she brought him up out of nowhere when we're alone (we rarely are - i just dont like this woman) and asked if I like him, quickly adding "everyone likes him." So I said "aren't you lucky you're taken" and she laughed it off saying "no...." As if to say she could be single again. I just feel like she'll hate any woman he likes because of his "no gitlfriend" stance and she feels like she's the only woman in his life. She's one of these "nobody likes me", "I'm so lonely", "I have no friends" types despite being married with a kid. And i worry that since asking me if I like him and me saying "no" only because I don't want her to know I'm interested, she'll report back to him "forget her she doesn't like you. I asked her." Same way she said to me "forget him, he doesn't want a girlfriend. He told me." She's also encouraging me to transfer offices in a new town. So she's really trying to get rid of me! Another girl who really likes him (and is friends with this woman) springs it on me one day "I've waited for something to happen with him for 2 years. He always said he didn't want a girlfriend then you come here and he's flocked to you." Because I didn't want to let on I like him to girls liable to sabotage anything ever happening, I said "he's not my type" and she goes "i'll just tell him she thinks you're ugly." Which is clearly not what I said! He does give me a lot of attention. He hasn't dated or slept with any of the girls. I just don't know whether to stop wasting my time & believing something is there when it isn't, after what a girl who has known him longer said. Could she just be trying to get me to stop talking to him, so he'll conclude I'M not interested? He's the shy type because one day he wanted to compliment me on something I did and rather than come to me, he told someone else (who told me) "I really want to go and tell Sara..." If I stop talking to him over this "no girlfriend" thing that I haven't heard out of his mouth, I feel like I'll blow my chances. Edited July 26, 2013 by Ditapage
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