luvflower Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) hello LS. so the guy I started seeing about 2 months ago is mad w/ me right now. each time he's come to visit me he'll end up leaving w/ my visitor's pass and I only have one. also, when other people stop by, family or friends I have to tell them to park far away or go move my vehicle. yes it can be a hassle. when i remind him that I'll need the pass back he ALWAYS gets upset and keeps putting off bringing it to me. we live very close to one another, btw. so this afternoon we went through the whole drama again of me saying I needed the pass and this time I didn't give him a specific reason but I told him it's not cool for me to have my visitors park far away because he chooses to not bring my pass back. previously when I had a meeting at my apartment he asked me why did they have to come to my apartment? i was like hu? I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself. about 5 days afrer we first met he kept saying that I NEEDED to treat him differently and show interest.and that if I didn't then ”f*ck it".I told him that he was being inconsiderate and I pulled back a bit then but we continued seeing each other. just 2 days ago he asked me if we were going to be serious nor not. I didn't know what to say but I reminded him of his problem taking my parking pass serious... he was a little bothered by my comment but seemingly brushed it off. my problem with this issue is that it's MY pass. and I Dont feel like I should have to keep begging for some like this that belongs to me. also, he seems very controlling or am I being too hard on him? I like him but Dont know why my parking pass is such a big deal... Edited July 26, 2013 by luvflower
Balzac Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Two months? You're kidding. What's wrong w you??? Nobody cares about him. 3
tbf Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Showing interest doesn't mean you have to put up with his lazy selfishness. If he's consistently not returning your pass, why would you keep giving it him? Walking won't kill him. 3
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 The guy is definitely controlling you with this visitors parking pass, he's insecure and it's a way of him feeling in control and also necessary since you can't function normally in your life without it and are forced to come to him and "beg" him for your parking pass...that is exactly what he wants so the focus and energy stays burned towards his direction. This is a very bad guy to date if he resorts to petty tactics and manipulative ones just to keep you on tabs...you're seeing this relationship from a completely different angle and perspective because you don't realize this guy is being this way intentionally out of insecurity and the funny thing is he might not even be that into you he's just still go to be the priority in a woman's life or he doesn't feel important...so in a way nothing to do with you, I'm sure he'd do this with anyone. This guys an idiot and the fact that you aren't able to get your pass back in this situation is making him feel stronger and more in control of you in this relationship which will only get worse as time goes on...so I hope you enjoy more of these pathetic games but wait till it actually gets deeper than 2 months...which is ridiculously you're actually putting up with this only after 2 months. 5
pianomanwoman Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Assuming hes not using you for a parking pass, or passive agressive personality disorder, which nothing you do would ever fix him in that case.. Why dont you just get the pass from him, copy it on the xerox machine, give him the fake one and don't let him know? YOu could also call the office and get him one of his own by saying that you need an extra one for a little fee they will make him one..if you love him then you shouldnt care if he doesnt return it. You know hes coming back so its like you are sharing a pass, not that he stole it. I know I had to learn to share my things with selfish men myself. The smallest issues can be mistaken for big ones such as..dont use my shampoo please, its more expensve than yours and when it runs out..I have to buy more. Or..what side to put the toilet paper roll under or over. Im not kidding if you cant trust him with your pass you are going to have a lot of problems so get rid of him or just love him the way he is. Id so love to have a boyfriend and I would steal a pass from the office and tell them..hey this is my man and hes going to be staying in my parking space from now on. I dont care if he doesnt live here he gives me rides to work so deal with it. And if they wouldnt do it I would go over their heads for my man..Just letting you know. By the way, there is a guy who parks in my spot and I didnt say anything for a year and a half. I sent him lunch one day at his work (pizza delivery works well)and now we are "good friends" he makes sure to help me take out the trash and hes my vietnamese nail tech also. Dont know if there is going to be a romance there but your parking story made me happy to hear that someone out there has a boyfriend. Im still looking.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Of course he's too controlling! You can't possibly be doubting that. He's very manipulative and this ridiculous issue over the parking pass is his way of making sure he always has a reason to see you (ie if you end it, he'll need to meet with you to "return the pass" / slither is his way back into your life) Don't give it to him again. He's demonstrated that he cannot be trusted with it. Tell him that if he throws a fit. And then be done with him. He's got issues, girl. P.S. If he ever refuses to return it, simply tell him you'll have no choice but to phone the police to retrieve it. It is NOT his to hold hostage. 1
Emilia Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 previously when I had a meeting at my apartment he asked me why did they have to come to my apartment? i was like hu? I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself. I agree that it's about his control over you. I don't think this one is a nice guy, he is passive aggressive to say the least. Not giving back what belongs to you is theft by the way. When you lend someone something that belongs to you and they decide to keep it, they are stealing from you.
CC12 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 about 5 days afrer we first met he kept saying that I NEEDED to treat him differently and show interest.and that if I didn't then ”f*ck it". Someone who has only known you for five days should not be making any kind of demands on you. That is really overstepping normal boundaries. And him saying, "You better do this thing, or else f*ck it" is gross manipulation. my problem with this issue is that it's MY pass. and I Dont feel like I should have to keep begging for some like this that belongs to me You should demand your parking pass back. It is yours. You paid for it, right? So get it back. And then never lend anything to him ever again, unless you're okay with never getting it back. Stand up for yourself, get your property back, and tell this overbearing dude to f*ck off. 3
TaraMaiden Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 It's very simple: He treats you like this - because he can. Don't give him the pass. Let HIM park away from you and walk. Jeesh! 8 weeks and already this drama. Do yourself a favour: Don't make it 9 weeks. Dump the jerk. Sorted. 9
therhythm Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I think if your new boyfriend doesn't return something that is yours and you have requested back you should begin to call him your new ex boyfriend 4
veggirl Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Why did you continue giving it to him knowing he steals it? I mean if you wanna keep seeing him for some reason, get it back and let him park far away. What a jerk.
Drseussgrrl Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I'll say it again. The amount of crap that women tolerate from men never ceases to amaze me. Quit giving him your parking pass, period. He's proven that he can't be trusted with it and that's all you need to say. There is no need to defend yourself so don't. This guy sounds like a grade-A jackass. Does he even make you happy? 1
Zahara Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 If family and friends are important to you, then why do you keep giving him the parking pass? Let your family and friends have it and let him walk to your apartment. Dealing with this BS only two months into the relationship? He sounds like an inconsiderate, controlling jerk. 2
Phantom888 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Dump him. He's not being nice to you. At 2 months he should still be spoiling you with affection. This attitude is wrong....and too early to manifest itself. It's a red flag for what is in development. 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I'll say it again. The amount of crap that women tolerate from men never ceases to amaze me. Quit giving him your parking pass, period. He's proven that he can't be trusted with it and that's all you need to say. There is no need to defend yourself so don't. This guy sounds like a grade-A jackass. Does he even make you happy? Me either. I honestly don't get it sometimes.
FitChick Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 What kind of pass is it? If it's the kind that can be electronically deactivated, call the security office and tell them you lost it and want a new one with a different code. Then tell him your parents have the new one so he'll have to park down the street.
ForeverHopeful1 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Just don't give him the opportunity to take it anymore.
Author luvflower Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 thanks for the feedback LS. I actually cut him off last night. this was the second and last time for that.he gets so pissed when I demand my pass that I told him we no longer need to communicate. what led me to believe he was a controlling beingwas when idI'd offer to meet him in a neutral spot. he got more upset and insisted bring the pass to my place. this time I demanded that we meet in a neutral spot because he was getting too crazy.he tried placing emphasis on the pass rather than his ACTIONs. he'd also overreact when I'd receive phone calls or text messages late at night. I'd brush it off because it wasn't a big deal but he'd go back and ask who it was and if it was a text nor my alarm and who was calling me that late at night,etc. I knew things were headed in the wrong direction. when we first met he tried telling me to call him more and treat him better because he didn't feel I was calling him enough.mind you this was within the first week of us meeting... I have my pass and Dont plan on seeing him again.if so he won't get my pass...ever again. I think I'll stick to just not seeing him anymore. 2
mtber75 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 hello LS. so the guy I started seeing about 2 months ago is mad w/ me right now. each time he's come to visit me he'll end up leaving w/ my visitor's pass and I only have one. also, when other people stop by, family or friends I have to tell them to park far away or go move my vehicle. yes it can be a hassle. when i remind him that I'll need the pass back he ALWAYS gets upset and keeps putting off bringing it to me. we live very close to one another, btw. so this afternoon we went through the whole drama again of me saying I needed the pass and this time I didn't give him a specific reason but I told him it's not cool for me to have my visitors park far away because he chooses to not bring my pass back. previously when I had a meeting at my apartment he asked me why did they have to come to my apartment? i was like hu? I shouldn't have to keep explaining myself. about 5 days afrer we first met he kept saying that I NEEDED to treat him differently and show interest.and that if I didn't then ”f*ck it".I told him that he was being inconsiderate and I pulled back a bit then but we continued seeing each other. just 2 days ago he asked me if we were going to be serious nor not. I didn't know what to say but I reminded him of his problem taking my parking pass serious... he was a little bothered by my comment but seemingly brushed it off. my problem with this issue is that it's MY pass. and I Dont feel like I should have to keep begging for some like this that belongs to me. also, he seems very controlling or am I being too hard on him? I like him but Dont know why my parking pass is such a big deal... WTF this guy is a serious drama queen! He thinks you'll dump him right after you take back your PARKING PASS! This would be hilarious if he wasn't so serious about it which I think he is! All this drama after only 2 month! I can't imagine what will be like with him if you guys are seriously committed. I say take back the parking pass and run from this boy (grown up men won't give a rats ass about this)!
Author luvflower Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 ...BTW, its a hard plastic pass,the kind that hangs from your rear view mirror. I wouldn't go through getting a new pass for him. he really is immature and controlling just not worth the trouble...especially if he's letting a parking pass piss him off this much. he was so pissed with me yesterday that he barely spoke when he gave it to me. then he had the nerve to ask me previously , why my coworkers have to meet in my apartment. again, we hhaven't been dating long enough for him to be that territorial.even if we had, he'd still be out of line. so... i think he gets the point this time and probably won't be calling or texting me anymore.cool! no more drama right...!
mtber75 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 ...BTW, its a hard plastic pass,the kind that hangs from your rear view mirror. I wouldn't go through getting a new pass for him. he really is immature and controlling just not worth the trouble...especially if he's letting a parking pass piss him off this much. he was so pissed with me yesterday that he barely spoke when he gave it to me. then he had the nerve to ask me previously , why my coworkers have to meet in my apartment. again, we hhaven't been dating long enough for him to be that territorial.even if we had, he'd still be out of line. so... i think he gets the point this time and probably won't be calling or texting me anymore.cool! no more drama right...
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