4.5 months since break up. Getting much better.

[agb]

Hey,

 

Here's a small gist of what happened -

I'm 24 and she's 21. Dated for 3 years. I was her first relationship etc. Thought we were completely in love. She was very innocent and immature(in a good way). She has/had family issues since we were dating.

Completely blind sided me with the break-up (we were intimate the previous day, and she wasn't the one's to just do it to do it. She also gave me the "rest of our lives" crap the previous day.).

Never really gave me a reason apart from "I've to find myself. I need to be alone."

 

After the breakup -

I cried and pleaded the first week or so. No response.

Flowers, letters and things that always worked. Nothing.

In the next 3 months, I called her once every other month with her blowing up at me calling me psychotic, crazy and a stalker.

I called her after speaking to few of her really good friends who always told me to call her cause she said she still loves you and cares.

I still don't know or fail to understand why we broke up.

 

So 4.5 months since the break up this is where I'm at -

The first few months, I went about trying to figure out why we broke up. Things were great and healthy. Never restrictive. At least, I thought so.

I gave up figuring out what happened cause it stopped mattering.

Can't say I'm over her, but I'm definitely getting there.

I do not want to get back with her, even if that was an option.

 

One of her friends told me recently(3 weeks back) that she's changed alot.

 

And this random guy who I was talking to a week back happened to know her as they are from the same college and their friends group hang out now, and he told me these - she's out of control, always drunk and smashed, random guys throw her around at parties and grope her, the people she hangs out with aren't the greatest. I cringed on hearing that. I couldn't believe she's turned into "one of those" girls. Though that's what made me realize, I wouldn't want to date her at all now. I thought and hoped things would work out, but I'm pretty sure she'll be hooking up with someone else sooner than later.

 

So right now, I'm making very good progress IMO. I don't feel deflated thinking about her and I've really improved my self in a huge number of ways doing a lot of good things for me (books, riding, new people etc).

 

The only thing that's eating away at me is the fact that she hasn't called or reached out to me once since the break up. Which I still find shocking... I guess it'll eventually numb out as well.

 

I wanted to know, how common is it that you never hear from an ex after a LTR?

Edited July 26, 2013 by agb

[Sasa123]

I know how you're feeling... It's 4.5 months ago for me as well. The first two months I couldn't do anything and told him how much I loved him. He always answered me, but were always 'on top'. Since I started my NC, he haven't contacted me once. And now there is a voice inside me who's telling me that he never did.

 

I don't know when the feeling will disappear, but as long as you're feeling better I'm sure it won't take long. And I'm sure, that one day and in some way she will try to contact you.

I still don't understand it though. I think it's a very bad quality to just throw out a person who you've been so close with.

[agb]

Yea, I guess the only thing I feel bad about is the feeling that our relationship was so insignificant for her. I don't think that's true, but I wish she contacted me once at least. I guess that's what the voice is telling you too.

 

I know, I'm disappointed that she hasn't reached out to me. I don't expect it anymore. I hope you're getting through it as well!

[NomiMalone]

I was the person who ended my relationship and I thought I'd shed some light. I'm at 5 wks post break up and the only reason I've never initiated contact with my guy is because I'm afraid of giving out breadcrumbs (i.e. false hope) that keeps him hanging on. But believe me, I'm craving to reach out to him, and I am doing everything I can to keep myself from calling/texting. I feel that when you've walked away from someone, youve relinquished your right to just jump back into their life at whim.

[agb]

I was the person who ended my relationship and I thought I'd shed some light. I'm at 5 wks post break up and the only reason I've never initiated contact with my guy is because I'm afraid of giving out breadcrumbs (i.e. false hope) that keeps him hanging on. But believe me, I'm craving to reach out to him, and I am doing everything I can to keep myself from calling/texting. I feel that when you've walked away from someone, youve relinquished your right to just jump back into their life at whim.

 

That may very well be the reason and sometimes I'm thankful that I haven't been strung along even for a moment. Then again, I wish we fought for our relationship.

 

It's just tough and scary, because I feel I got walked out on.