rsrazer Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 ok, after four years apart, my ex and I are back together. she was the first girlfriend I ever had, we used to get along great, and to an extent, were still a lot alike. sadly our parents interfered and that is what led us to break up. now that were old enough now, there is no worry about anyone interfering. the issue is, that since we have been apart, her second boyfriend straight up used her. the next guy she was with, she didn't feel good enough and left him. the last guy she was with acted more like a father because of his emotional issues and less like a bf. with the exception of sex and occasional contact, he mostly shunned her away. before I continue I should mention that she has never had a stable father figure in her life. anyhow, they finally broke up and she returned back down state. we hook back up and it started out great. but because of my emotional issues, I thrive on contact, such as holding hands, kissing, cuddling, etc. but with her current state and the fact she feels smothered, I am scared to even touch her unless she makes the move, which is fine, except for one second were ok, and the next, im being pushed away. She is now at the point where she is unsure if she wants to be with anyone, and being im in most contact, and the fact I keep making mistakes because I never had to deal with this, its looking like ill end up being friend zoned permantly due to the fact that I will not be mr second choice for anyone. I don't know how to help her, and I really do love her. despite distance, time, and other relationships, I still have my feelings for her. I know the feelings are there with her as well, but she is still stuck on her jerk of an ex. instead of trying to move forward, she has turned to drinking. it was so bad one night that I barely got her to the bed before she passed out. I sat there holding her while she was sobbing and wanting him back. I knew she missed him, I expected this so it didn't bother me too much except for the fact this is pretty much an every night thing. this past Tuesday night, she wanted me to come over. I did. she was really drunk as usual, and I went to sleep before her. I woke up with a bad feeling, she was still drunk, talking to a guy friend whom she said she didn't feel anything for. what cause the biggest issue so far, was the fact that she said she has given up on relationships, and he asked what about me. she replied he still has a chance, and when he asked about me her reply was she doesn't know, but she doesn't want to because she doesn't want to hurt me. that led to an argument between us later, and after spending yesterday with her being cold, everything is good. its confusing because one second im the guy, and the next, im pushed away. I really don't want to loose her, and I don't know what to do.
Poptree Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I think you should move on from her. She needs to get her life together before she can have a healthy relationship.
Recommended Posts