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Should a men do the chase?

Sunny85

By Sunny85
in General Relationship Discussion

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Sunny85 Member

Sunny85

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Hi everyone, adding to my previous question what do you think? When a men does not chase a woman does he not like her enough?

Or are their other reasons why he is not chasing although he gives a phonenumber by himself and also starts to talk online.... Are there men here on this forum who van answers the question if a men really has to go after a woman and call her, ask her out and so on....

jphcbpa Established Member

jphcbpa

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when I really like a girl, I do the chasing. I prefer that. Just me. Some guys like to be chased.

Southern Cal Dude Established Member

Southern Cal Dude

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Guys with options don't chase. They don't need to.

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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If a man or woman really likes someone, they make it known and it's pretty obvious. I wouldn't even describe it as a "chase", as chase implies one person running away and the other being in hot pursuit. If a man is interested in you he will want to see you, hang out with you, communicate with you, and will find every reason to do so when he can. Likewise, if a woman is into a man, unless she is someone who sits reading rule books of dating, she will respond to a man's interest and also initiate communication, hanging out etc.

 

Anything less, any confusion, any wondering about how a man/woman feels means they aren't THAT into you...even if they like you a little. If they are REALLY into you....you know it. For me, I prefer for a man to do the initiating and to put his "interest" on the table first, and the kinds of men I tend to like are comfortable with this, and I respond in kind and it works out from there. If I feel like I like a man more and that I am chasing him...I put the brakes on, as I want to be on the same page with someone.

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kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

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Guys with options don't chase. They don't need to.

 

Simply not true. They chase (or perhaps "pursue" is a better word) if/when one option appeals to them above the others.

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therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Guys with options don't chase. They don't need to.

 

I have to disagree... when the right woman shows up any man would do the chasing... it is written in our DNA ;)

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BradJacobs Established Member

BradJacobs

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Simply not true. They chase (or perhaps "pursue" is a better word) if/when one option appeals to them above the others.

Guys with options don't normally recognize the women that need to be chased because they're too busy with the women who are expressing interest in them.

 

And there is a big difference between guys with real, tangible options and guys who pretend like they have options when they really mean looking at spank mags and playing video games.

salparadise Established Member

salparadise

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I don't chase, I show enthusiasm. If it's not reciprocated I move on. Life is too short to waste on women who want to turn dating into a competition and play one guy against another. This results in me not having to deal with prima donnas and only dating those who are willing to hold up their end. Of course I'm not dating 20 somethings either, so may be why it works for me.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Guys with options don't normally recognize the women that need to be chased because they're too busy with the women who are expressing interest in them.

 

And there is a big difference between guys with real, tangible options and guys who pretend like they have options when they really mean looking at spank mags and playing video games.

 

Actually I find myself more often interested on the women who do not show me that clearly their interest and where I need to do the chase.... Not always the case of course, there are women you are really happy they show you interest :cool::cool: but in most of the occasions I like to do the approach and I like to do the chasing too (though I have to agree usually not much chasing is necessary ;) )

Southern Cal Dude Established Member

Southern Cal Dude

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I have to disagree... when the right woman shows up any man would do the chasing... it is written in our DNA ;)

 

 

It has nothing to do with wiring. If it was "DNA", then women wouldn't chase at all. Cream of the crop guys don't chase because women are chasing them. Why chase women when they're chasing you? It's no different than what women do.

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therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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It has nothing to do with wiring. If it was "DNA", then women wouldn't chase at all. Cream of the crop guys don't chase because women are chasing them. Why chase women when they're chasing you? It's no different than what women do.

 

As I said before, I chase because I like to do it... I think I like the idea of the hunt and the challenge ;) ... and yes.. it is wired in our DNA.

Southern Cal Dude Established Member

Southern Cal Dude

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As I said before, I chase because I like to do it... I think I like the idea of the hunt and the challenge ;) ... and yes.. it is wired in our DNA.

 

 

You do what works. And no, it's not wired. It's social conditioning.

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tbf Established Member

tbf

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Guys with options don't normally recognize the women that need to be chased because they're too busy with the women who are expressing interest in them.

 

And there is a big difference between guys with real, tangible options and guys who pretend like they have options when they really mean looking at spank mags and playing video games.

Men with options don't all goose step to the same PUA beliefs. :rolleyes:
  • Like 3
therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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You do what works. And no, it's not wired. It's social conditioning.

 

I am not going to discuss this with you... what ever you like to think ;)

 

And yes... happy to do the work... and believe me I do enjoy it!

Southern Cal Dude Established Member

Southern Cal Dude

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Men with options don't all goose step to the same PUA beliefs. :rolleyes:

 

 

Nothing he said even hints at PUA.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Nothing he said even hints at PUA.

 

and how would you know that if you were not into it? :lmao::lmao:

tbf Established Member

tbf

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Nothing he said even hints at PUA.
Sounds a lot like PUA to me. It's the nice guy chant from PUA.
Southern Cal Dude Established Member

Southern Cal Dude

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Sounds a lot like PUA to me. It's the nice guy chant from PUA.

 

 

Some of you may want to look into what PUA is before you blindly throw the label.

therhythm Established Member

therhythm

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Some of you may want to look into what PUA is before you blindly throw the label.

 

I have no interest in the "dating for dummies" religion book ;)

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

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Hi everyone, adding to my previous question what do you think? When a men does not chase a woman does he not like her enough?

Or are their other reasons why he is not chasing although he gives a phonenumber by himself and also starts to talk online.... Are there men here on this forum who van answers the question if a men really has to go after a woman and call her, ask her out and so on....

 

No one should do anything he/she doesn't want to. Nothing will ever materialize if neither party approaches the other. So, you can either sit around and wait for it to happen, make the move yourself, or wait for someone else to approach you.

 

Plenty of women approach men before, I have, though it's not often. A mutual friend called me to tell me he wanted to talk to me, so I reached out to him, and eventually asked him if he'd like to get together, and we did.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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In my demographic, the males who seek to maximize the option pool available to them do the pursuing, regardless of their social status. Can some get dates/mates by being passive? Sure, absolutely. There's a difference between getting and maximizing.

 

'Should' a man 'do the chase'? IME, yes he should, presuming 'chase' is defined by actively and overtly seeking out a mate he desires.

  • Like 1
BradJacobs Established Member

BradJacobs

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Sounds a lot like PUA to me. It's the nice guy chant from PUA.

It's not. I know that would be more convenient to explain but that was the furthest thing from my mind when I made that post.

 

Also, I'm not a cream of the crop guy like SCD referenced earlier but I have enough options that I don't need to chase and don't find the concept of chasing appealing. I have a look that the women I am naturally attracted to usually seek out or make it obvious they are interested. It works. I don't question it and certainly don't care to change it.

 

That's not to say I won't make introductions because I will. It's just to say that I don't need to chase women around town to win their affection or attention like it's some coveted prize. The game playing there bores me.

 

Does that make sense at all?

kiss_andmakeup Established Member

kiss_andmakeup

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Guys with options don't normally recognize the women that need to be chased because they're too busy with the women who are expressing interest in them.

 

And there is a big difference between guys with real, tangible options and guys who pretend like they have options when they really mean looking at spank mags and playing video games.

 

It's not. I know that would be more convenient to explain but that was the furthest thing from my mind when I made that post.

 

Also, I'm not a cream of the crop guy like SCD referenced earlier but I have enough options that I don't need to chase and don't find the concept of chasing appealing. I have a look that the women I am naturally attracted to usually seek out or make it obvious they are interested. It works. I don't question it and certainly don't care to change it.

 

That's not to say I won't make introductions because I will. It's just to say that I don't need to chase women around town to win their affection or attention like it's some coveted prize. The game playing there bores me.

 

Does that make sense at all?

 

That's just fine, and makes plenty of sense.

 

But it's you. It's not a blanket statement for all "men with options."

 

My fiancé chased me pretty damn hard. He's a tall, handsome, funny, charismatic young guy, and has a successful career as a physician. I'm sure he only chased me because he didn't have many other options, though. ;)

 

He isn't a one-off, either...I can think of many other real-life examples.

 

As far as the topic at hand, the title of this thread is "Should men chase," and no, I don't think anybody should do anything simply based on their gender. People should do what feels natural. Someone who forces themselves to be more aggressive than they naturally are with the opposite sex is probably going to be uncomfortable doing so, and that discomfort can become extremely apparent to the person they're pursuing...so it can be a bit of a pointless exercise.

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