How to speed things up with this girl?

[rando9009]

A little background on myself since this is my first post. I am male, 26, and am very satisfied with how my life is going. Great job, great family, great friends, the one thing that is missing is the right girl. I have had a decent amount of dating experience and girlfriends over the years, probably near 10ish (including some that didn't last more than a month or two), but for this reason and that, it didn't work out (either on my end or theirs). I would describe myself as attractive (or so I've been told many times), 6'2" 185, active, social, etc... however at times possibly a little towards the shy side with meeting random girls before getting to know them.

 

Sorry for the long read, but advice would be helpful! I met a girl about a month ago at a bar by an outdoor music event we have here every week. She seemed to be "secretly" interested in me but shy, so I began talking to her for a while and got her number. The same night she texted me saying how it was nice to meet me and hope to see me soon. I replied that we could defenitely get together soon.

 

Let a day or two go by and texted her to set up a date, we met for some drinks outside and had a great time. Very casual this time, nothing more than chatting and a hug on the meet, and leave. She seemed very excited when I walked her to the car and said "so I'll see you again soon right?!" to which I teased her a bit with a "maybe" but of course agreed.

 

Again a couple of days went by, she initiated texting with me once or so just chatting, and eventually I tried to set up another date. We agreed on a time and place, but at the last minute she canceled. Now I would've normally taken this as a blow off.... but she gave me like 3 "I'm so sorry's" with a good explanation of what happened, and kept talking to me. I played it off like no big deal (really wasnt).

 

The next week I again tried to make plans, and we texted fine, but she was simply not available so she asked if we could try for the next week instead. Again, I played it off cool.

 

Didn't text her for days this time, but finally arranged something for this past Monday night (only night available due to work 2nd shift). She came down by my place, was super dressed up looking gorgeous, and we took a nice walk to another area of town for some wine and a drink or two before we walked back to my place. A couple of times throughout the night when we were being playful and flirty I let her know that she could "crash" over at my house if she wanted (since she lives 40 mins away). She declined nicely (no big weird moment or anything) but stated that she would stay at her friends house this time. All throughout the night she was stating how she is so sick of being so busy with work and school, and that hopefully WE can get together more. I took this as a good sign. She sat with me on my porch for a bit, we made out a little, and I wished her off before calling it a night.

 

I texted her late the next day about how I had an awesome time, and she responded how she did as well and we chatted for a bit more.

 

Let me start off saying that she is LEGITAMTLEY busy. Is in med school and also works at the hospital, so its not BS that she has a hard time getting together. She said she dosn't really even see her friends that often right now. Now here comes my issue with this situation. Its moving forward (first date hug, second date make out.. etc) but much slower than I'm used to. And although she always texts me back niceley and we chat, it dosn't seem like she is really initiating much.

 

I'm ok with it moving a little slower. I've had plenty of one night stand situations that never result in anything. In my experience my "keeper" gf's have moved a little slower with the first couple dates.

 

But how can I get this to speed up a little here? She is AWESOME, honestly what I am looking for as far as I can see so far, and I don't want to be to pushy, but I also don't want to text her once a week and let it totally fizzle out.

 

Whats a good strategy here? I'm sure we will try to get together next week, and I'm sure it will happen, but seriously this is moving along so slow..

[Philosoraptor]

Want to really speed it up? Get on one knee and pop the question as you put your hands down her pants.

 

Really though, just be patient. Sounds like she likes you but has a really busy schedule. If you're ok knowing that things will be hit or miss for awhile, then stick with it. If you're uncomfortable with things you'll just have to move on and chalk this up to a difference in lifestyles.

[BluEyeL]

I think you should set up the next date at the end of the first date, on the spot. You should also try to see her twice every week. I understand she is busy, but if there is a will, there is a way. Don't lose the momentum, at the end of the date ask her what her schedule is for x day, y day, z day until you find one.

[kassy]

You have been on two dates and made out... Not exactly snails pace.

 

The problem is the seeing each other more frequently. I think you will need a few more 'slow paced' dates before she stays over. But once she does it probably will be better in terms of frequency... But maybe not much.

 

If you like her stick it out another two months and if it hasn't progressed to the relationship you want then move on.

 

If you aren't too fussed then I'd move on now

[SantistaUSA]

well I don't think you should worry about it too much, it is going in a pace she can handle, one of my best friends is a doctor, we used to be roommates and even dated for a while, she is extremely busy, I've seen the amount of work she has to do plus she can't really make mistakes as people may die so it is very stressful.

 

If you really want a relationship with this girl you will have to be ok with her cancelling plans on the last minute and not be upset with her, she will be on call etc. That stuff never bothered me, and I've never made my friend feel bad about things like that, but someone people can't handle it!

 

So don't rush it, just make sure you keep her interest up, don't be pushy :-)

[RedRobin]

OP, while you are busy painting yourself as the 3 date or dump guy, it sounds like the girl you are interested in is busy building a life for herself and TRYING to get to know you.

 

Trust me... if you try to weasel yourself into another 'f me now' situation like you did with your 'crash' invitation, you are likely to get dumped yourself... or, maybe, just maybe, you'll get the random date every once in awhile when she's feeling lonely. Heck, she might even sleep with you... but you will never be relationship material for her.

 

If she has half a brain, AND, she legitimately is interested in potentially pursuing a relationship with you, she will not accept another date with you that either starts or ends, or suggests, anywhere near your house or hers for quite awhile longer.

 

You don't like that? Date fun-time girls who don't care what kind of guys they sleep with.

 

Um, sorry... I mean... who are ok getting to know you sexually before getting to know you personally.

[salparadise]

OP, while you are busy painting yourself as the 3 date or dump guy, it sounds like...

 

The sex police arrive with sirens screaming to save the poor damsel from this wicked perve before he tricks her into giving it up without her knowing what the hell happened. Honestly RR when was the last time you posted, if ever, without trying to push that agenda down someone's throat? It's like you are obsessed with converting the world to accept that perspective as the only right way to see any situation. Why don't you try and accept this... women have virtue, men don't. It's not up to men to protect a woman's virtue, it's up to us to convince her to set it aside just for us. That in a nutshell is what makes the world go round and causes subsequent generations to be born.

 

OP, I agree that you need to keep the enthusiasm up between dates, and try to just grab a little time with her here and there... lunch in the cafeteria, a walk, etc. She sounds like she's worth the effort.

[rando9009]

OP, while you are busy painting yourself as the 3 date or dump guy, it sounds like the girl you are interested in is busy building a life for herself and TRYING to get to know you.

 

Trust me... if you try to weasel yourself into another 'f me now' situation like you did with your 'crash' invitation, you are likely to get dumped yourself...

 

First off, the only thing I agree with in this post is that I agree maybe I was a little quick on the invite in, and will be a little more careful of this for the next, as I understand this could put a negative pressure on her.

 

Other than that.. I didn't know it was such a crime to suggest a girl to sleep over? Sex or not. Its like some people hear about a sexual situation and freak out.. We wouldn't have had to have sex, kissing, cuddling, and sleeping would've been fine. Her not deciding to come in was fine... like I said wasn't a huge deal.

 

And this is not about the 3 date or dump situation. This is about trying to get some suggestions or ideas about how to progress this relationship along to the next level a little quicker. That does NOT necessarily mean I am talking about sex! Now don't get me wrong, she is very attractive, and I would sleep with her, but that is not what this post is about. It is about that I would like to get more of a "relationship" feeling going (which I realize dosn't always happen overnight) instead of just a random date once every other week where it just seems like we're not moving forward. This would include a little more contact, her reaching out to me occasionally, hanging out at least once or twice a week etc...

 

However I must say that at least the make-out was at least a sort of moving forward. In a way this slower process has me a little excited, as like I mentioned earlier, generally I find that ones that start off a little slower are more quality relationships. I'm ok with being patient to a certain extent, but lets face it, if things never speed up, the rut gets kind of frustrating for one of the two people..

 

When we do hang out it is awesome. She shows me all sorts of signs of interest in the way she talks, and before we leave she always talks several times about hanging out next, but we don't set up an actual date because she usually dosn't know her schedule right away etc.

 

I don't want to sound like I'm super desperate for this... but I really do like this girl and want to give this the best shot, and am nervous of it fizzling out, or me causing her to lose interest by being "to predictable" or the "nice guy" to quickly as well..

 

I did not contact her yesterday, but in all reality I kind of would like to hear from her once every other day or so. I feel like going on a date, then not talking for 4 days in a row, then talking, going on another date, could get stuck in an endless circle...

 

Maybe as we hang out a few more times (if we do...) the circle will loosen up, but I feel as though there may be something I need to do to help the process along.

 

Thoughts?

Edited July 25, 2013 by rando9009

[rando9009]

I think you should set up the next date at the end of the first date, on the spot. You should also try to see her twice every week. I understand she is busy, but if there is a will, there is a way. Don't lose the momentum, at the end of the date ask her what her schedule is for x day, y day, z day until you find one.

 

This describes my concern perfectly. I'm afraid of losing momentum again after every date. Kind of like a "first date every time" situation. I may be over thinking it though, just my thoughts.

 

I was just thinking how nice it would be to get a simple "hey, how are you" text from her right now. Kind of just to show me that Im at least in her head..

Edited July 25, 2013 by rando9009

[Star Gazer]

First date hug, second date makeout. You're used to moving faster than that? What, is second date sex the usual entree?

[rando9009]

First date hug, second date makeout. You're used to moving faster than that? What, is second date sex the usual entree?

 

Nah, but maybe a simple call or text from her at this point would be nice...

 

You guys are missing the point. This post is not about the sex. That would just be icing on the cake. But I'm ok with eating some icing less cake for awhile.

Edited July 25, 2013 by rando9009

[tbf]

So what you're hoping for from her is more reciprocation through actions since actions prove that she's as invested as you to proceed.

 

Are you aware that internship could potentially limit time even further?

[Balzac]

When is her next rotation change? Offer to travel to her zone for a few quick meet ups.

[RedRobin]

The sex police arrive with sirens screaming to save the poor damsel from this wicked perve before he tricks her into giving it up without her knowing what the hell happened. Honestly RR when was the last time you posted, if ever, without trying to push that agenda down someone's throat? It's like you are obsessed with converting the world to accept that perspective as the only right way to see any situation. Why don't you try and accept this... women have virtue, men don't. It's not up to men to protect a woman's virtue, it's up to us to convince her to set it aside just for us. That in a nutshell is what makes the world go round and causes subsequent generations to be born.

 

I'm sure she is a smart girl and in no need of protection.

 

The guy wants to know how to impress a girl like the one he is describing... He doesn't do it by making offers like he has.

 

All he is doing is establishing he doesn't give a sh*t about her nor does he care to get to know her... despite all his hand waving and proclamations.

 

It certainly is his choice if he wants to leave that impression.

 

In fact, if I really wanted to help this girl out... my advice should be for him to insist on a 'movie' at his place for their next 'date'... and if she doesn't agree, he should get really annoyed and call her a tease for not going all the way on the second date like any mature, sexually healthy girl really should.

 

Yea... that would do it.

 

Try that OP.

[RedRobin]

... but seriously, OP... I just read your post above.

 

Look, no mature woman is going to assume you are inviting her over to 'crash' and it's just that. If you keep doing that, she is likely to assume you are more after her for just sex and not much else. Not every woman finds that cute or appealing.

 

The other advice about trying to set up dates during the one you are on is a good one.

 

Also, will she tell you when her schedule comes out? If it comes out on a certain day, maybe that would be a good day to try and set up your next date since things are in flux.

[RedRobin]

Pretty much why most men

some so-called 'men' turn me off. Thanks for this very articulate portrayal of some so-called 'men' men.

 

Don't call us cynical though when we repeat it in other threads, that men some so-called 'men' are after f u c k a b I l I t y n e s s in women and are hypocrites, especially when it comes to sex

 

Why I love this website and all the contradicting posts the same users give:

 

Girl posts/says "men really only want me for sex" men here say "you are just a bitter jaded woman, not all men are like that"

 

Girl posts/says "this guy is taking it too fast/wont invite me on dates that don't end up at his place" men here say "well men are wired this way, we aren't virtuous, get over it and move it along"

 

Girl posts/says "a little peeved because I went back to his place and pushed sex" men here say "well youre a tease, don't ever go back to a mans place and deny him sex!!!"

 

Girl posts/says "turned off because he kept inviting to his place/pushing sex earlier than is normal for me" men here say "oh well that's normal for men!!!"

 

Gotta love Loveshack and its never relenting contradicting, selfish-for-the-win attitude towards men. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

 

 

What really gets me are the plethora of men who feel entitled to sex early and think girls who don't put out by date 6 are prude/stuck up/not interested/boring in the sack yet tell women here to "stick it out" for men. LOL

 

I agree with most of what you said above, but changed the wording a bit to reflect how I feel about these so-called men.

 

The ones you are describing happened to be born with outtys... and I suppose technically that makes them 'men'...

 

But they aren't men in my book. The men in my family, and the ones I choose to stay acquainted with on any level don't act like this.

 

It is harder and harder to find good men partly because our culture sends even the most well-intentioned young men a lot of really bad messages about what it means to be a man... A lot of them really don't have any decent role models. So I can cut lots of them some slack as human beings while they are trying to figure it out. Doesn't mean I will agree to date them though.

 

On the other hand, you do have some posters who are quite mean-spirited and do their best to hide in the shrubbery of vagueness during the 'get to know you' phase. I come to LS partly to learn all the subtle tricks the so-called men try to play to convince me they want to get to know me or care about me... or any woman they might come across... It has helped me successfully navigate this minefield called 'dating' and ditch the poseurs really quick.

 

Got to admit, it is useful for that.

[rando9009]

Whoa... I didn't know we had so many man haters on here. I think those last two posts are off topic and should be on their own thread. Then you guys can bash men all you want. My guess is that you are both not getting any yourself, therefore all guys are a**holes. Sound about right?

 

How about actually offering some advice on the original topic? I've already explained that it is NOT talking about sex. I just wish this girl would show me some interest when we are not together, through the form of an self initiated call or text to me. I hate having to always be the one prodding someone along. It's frustrating because as I say she seems so interested and awesome when were together, then after we leave unless I text her I hear nothing for days. Makes me wonder what she's thinking (as in am I just a fun night out every so often, or more than that?)

 

Should I just not initiate a text for days and see what happens? That seems to risk losing momentum even further..

[rando9009]

So what you're hoping for from her is more reciprocation through actions since actions prove that she's as invested as you to proceed.

 

Are you aware that internship could potentially limit time even further?

 

This is correct. I would like her to initiate something once now. She has one time before, but usually she seems to always leave it up to me to contact her. That makes me wonder whether she even thinking about me and a next date, or if its just a random hangout once and awhile. I get it that she's busy, but how hard is it to shoot a "hey how are you" to someone..?

 

I can do that too, and I do, but lets face it it's not the most attraction building exercise for a girl when a guy keeps "chasing" and texting.

 

Then watch.. Ill text her in a few days and she'll be cool, and maybe well ees something up. But where's that growing level of a relationship? I could call up any one of my female friends for a quick night out if I wanted. I'm looking for more here.

 

I'm probably just being impatient. But in my experience her lack of contact in between dates raises an eyebrow

Edited July 26, 2013 by rando9009

[RedRobin]

Whoa... I didn't know we had so many man haters on here. I think those last two posts are off topic and should be on their own thread. Then you guys can bash men all you want. My guess is that you are both not getting any yourself, therefore all guys are a**holes. Sound about right?

 

How about actually offering some advice on the original topic? I've already explained that it is NOT talking about sex. I just wish this girl would show me some interest when we are not together, through the form of an self initiated call or text to me. I hate having to always be the one prodding someone along. It's frustrating because as I say she seems so interested and awesome when were together, then after we leave unless I text her I hear nothing for days. Makes me wonder what she's thinking (as in am I just a fun night out every so often, or more than that?)

 

Should I just not initiate a text for days and see what happens? That seems to risk losing momentum even further..

 

I agree, it's off topic... but still useful for you to read.

 

...but here is the deal... you've already possibly established by your offer/request for her to 'crash' that you are that other kind of 'man'. The kind me and the other poster are complaining about. Trying to speed things up?? I'm sure that is not lost upon her either. Most women past the age of 20 or so figure out what the 3 date or dump guys look like. Congrats. You're offer put you in that boat.

 

10 steps backward for you... So, what did you other texts say? What were your other date offers? Was it for her to come over and hang out? Were your texts something along the lines of "you are a fabulous kisser!! Can't wait till the next time I see you!" Boom chica wow wow.

 

Something along those lines??

 

Maybe she's avoiding you now. Or she has better things to do. Or she is waiting for you to say something interesting enough to warrant initiating a text or conversation.

 

Next time, don't make such stupid requests early on and expect to be taken seriously by someone you want to impress.

 

Or pick more naïve ones.

Edited July 26, 2013 by RedRobin

[therhythm]

Whoa... I didn't know we had so many man haters on here. I think those last two posts are off topic and should be on their own thread. Then you guys can bash men all you want. My guess is that you are both not getting any yourself, therefore all guys are a**holes. Sound about right?

 

How about actually offering some advice on the original topic? I've already explained that it is NOT talking about sex. I just wish this girl would show me some interest when we are not together, through the form of an self initiated call or text to me. I hate having to always be the one prodding someone along. It's frustrating because as I say she seems so interested and awesome when were together, then after we leave unless I text her I hear nothing for days. Makes me wonder what she's thinking (as in am I just a fun night out every so often, or more than that?)

 

Should I just not initiate a text for days and see what happens? That seems to risk losing momentum even further..

 

I am sorry man, you have got in your thread the 2 or 3 men haters we have in this board...

Just keep being communicative with your girlfriend and open about how you feel. If she keeps being such a passive person maybe you should look for someone else... it shows very little interest on you

 

Good luck anyway!

[rando9009]

 

Maybe she's avoiding you now. Or she has better things to do. Or she is waiting for you to say something interesting enough to warrant initiating a text or conversation.

 

Next time, don't make such stupid requests early on and expect to be taken seriously by someone you want to impress.

 

Or pick more naïve ones.

 

First of all, let me state that at least in my age bracket, it is not that unusual or appahling to ask a girl you like to spend the night after an awesome night out and she lives an hour away after we've been drinking (drunk driving anyone?). Yes maybe it was a little soon but it wasn't that big of a deal.

 

Second, I am not trying to impress her. She needs to impress me as much as I do her. I am a great guy with an awesome job, lots of resources, great family, and a great life ahead. She may be as well, but this isn't some pussyfoot around the girl deal. I can't believe some women expect that. It's a mutual relationship trying to be built. Yes there are courtship elements in there, but this is not an impress the girl game.

 

I guess Ill just have to see with her. Wait a few days, get in contact with her again, see what happens. If she dosnt come around soon, I guess her loss as much as mine!

 

Honestly hope it works out or speeds up though because she is an amazing woman. Think I should be a little more flirty with the communication or more distant?

[salparadise]

Pretty much why most men turn me off. Thanks for this very articulate portrayal of men. Don't call us cynical though when we repeat it in other threads, that men are after f u c k a b I l I t y n e s s in women and are hypocrites when it comes to sex

 

Why I love this website and all the contradicting posts the same users give:

 

Girl posts/says "men really only want me for sex" men here say "you are just a bitter jaded woman, not all men are like that"

 

Girl posts/says "this guy is taking it too fast/wont invite me on dates that don't end up at his place" men here say "well men are wired this way, we aren't virtuous, get over it and move it along"

 

Girl posts/says "a little peeved because I went back to his place and pushed sex" men here say "well youre a tease, don't ever go back to a mans place and deny him sex!!!"

 

Girl posts/says "turned off because he kept inviting to his place/pushing sex earlier than is normal for me" men here say "oh well that's normal for men!!!"

 

Gotta love Loveshack and its never relenting contradicting, selfish-for-the-win attitude towards men. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

 

What really gets me are the plethora of men who feel entitled to sex early and think girls who don't put out by date 6 are prude/stuck up/not interested/boring in the sack yet tell women here to "stick it out" for men. LOL

 

Listen Regan sweetiepie, you just aren't dealing with reality. You're expecting men to act like women. Men and women are different, in case you haven't noticed. Our primary interests are offset, or asymmetrical. Men want vagina––you make it sound like any man who admits to wanting some is an animal. Oh yea, I guess we are aren't we?

 

Women want commitment and they traditionally withhold vagina to get what they want. What's that witticism about the cow and milk? That's just the way the world goes around. You all cry and whine that you can't get men to pursue properly... pursue what? A man's strong motivation to get vagina is what makes the whole damn system work.

 

Do you actually think that when a man pursues he should have your continued chastity as the objective? If you flip this around, men would be shaming women for wanting a relationship. It is a bit of a double edge problem for women because they do get horny, but if they're too free with sex they'll end up with a dozen bambinos and no father (until the 1960s anyway), but if they hold out too long men just move on to find some that available. Actually, if you want to get really factual about it, blame the advent of birth control for changing the paradigm.

 

But where their motivation originates is not men's fault, it's just the way nature set the system up. Why do you think women wear lipstick––what is the appeal? Women spend all of this time, money and energy trying to look great so that men will pursue, but then when it happens just like it's suppose to you whine that they're putting their interest ahead of yours. I got news for ya sweets, in the mating game there is no charity. Women are every bit as tough and fickle and uncompromising as men. They won't give a shy guy the time of day unless he looks like a good prospect (fat bank account or high salary).

 

I won't even go into the issues about 90 percent of women wanting only 5 percent of men, but you and I both know it's just another aspect of the asymmetrical system. So I think you should quit projecting your frustrations on men and accept that it's a fairly balanced system that has endured and been optimized for 3 million years, and it ain't going away because you're having trouble getting what you want. Use sugar not vinegar.

Edited July 26, 2013 by salparadise

[starrynightz45]

Seriously? Let me be totally blunt here - MAN UP DUDE!

 

To me it sounds like you're kicking your feet up and waiting around for her to initiate. Sorry, it's 2013 and yadda yadda - but YOU should be initiating if you want to talk to her more than 1x a week. Don't sit there and expect her to do it. If you really wanted to talk to her, you'd call or text more often. She'd then pick up on the fact that you ARE INTERESTED in her, and would EVENTUALLY start reciprocating. You've been on 2 dates and already you're complaining that you, as the MAN, have to actually make some effort? All I'm seeing in your post is the fact that she was busy and you reacted by not texting for days and days. This tells her you're NOT INTO HER. So why the surprise that she isn't throwing herself at you?

 

What you did here was go out with her once, and then very clearly "suggest" that she could stay overnight on the 2nd date aka you want to bang her. Do you think her reaction to this is going to be "oooooooo I better start texting him much more often now...because I want him to think I'm ever so more into him now that he's pretty much made me feel like this is going to be a FWB/sex only thing." Yea...no.

Edited July 27, 2013 by starrynightz45

[RedRobin]

First of all, let me state that at least in my age bracket, experience it is not that unusual or appahling to ask a girl you like to spend the night after an awesome night out and she lives an hour away after we've been drinking (drunk driving anyone?). Yes maybe it was a little soon but it wasn't that big of a deal.

 

Second, I am not trying to impress her. She needs to impress me as much as I do her. I am a great guy with an awesome job, lots of resources, great family, and a great life ahead. She may be as well, but this isn't some pussyfoot around the girl deal. I can't believe some women expect that. It's a mutual relationship trying to be built. Yes there are courtship elements in there, but this is not an impress the girl game.

 

I guess Ill just have to see with her. Wait a few days, get in contact with her again, see what happens. If she dosnt come around soon, I guess her loss as much as mine!

 

Honestly hope it works out or speeds up though because she is an amazing woman. Think I should be a little more flirty with the communication or more distant?

 

No, it's not a mutual relationship trying to be built until you prove it is. Right now, all you have proven with your 'crash' suggestion is that you have a d*ck and you'd like to use it on her. Big deal.

 

OK, so tell us something we DONT know.

 

Some women (especially the kind you are talking about on the thread) are simply not responsive to guys who do what you do or are doing... no matter good looking, rich, or great your job is. Cause guess what? We have all that too...

 

She's simply not going to put her work aside for a guy who can't be bothered to put in any effort to demonstrate his intentions.

 

It's not that complicated... and it's not 'man-hating' either.

 

It's a question of priorities. Guys who do what you did are the equivalent of "Yur Hawt!" on online dating... It is boring, uncreative, and really... not worth getting excited over.

Edited July 27, 2013 by RedRobin

[RedRobin]

If you flip this around, men would be shaming women for wanting a relationship. It is a bit of a double edge problem for women because they do get horny, but if they're too free with sex they'll end up with a dozen bambinos and no father (until the 1960s anyway), but if they hold out too long men just move on to find some that available. Actually, if you want to get really factual about it, blame the advent of birth control for changing the paradigm.

 

But where their motivation originates is not men's fault, it's just the way nature set the system up. Why do you think women wear lipstick––what is the appeal? Women spend all of this time, money and energy trying to look great so that men will pursue, but then when it happens just like it's suppose to you whine that they're putting their interest ahead of yours. I got news for ya sweets, in the mating game there is no charity. Women are every bit as tough and fickle and uncompromising as men. They won't give a shy guy the time of day unless he looks like a good prospect (fat bank account or high salary).

 

Yes, many men shame women all the time for wanting a relationship.

 

You lie and manipulate to make them think you are looking for a relationship with them, or a relationship at all. That is a form of shaming.

 

You might convince yourself that women are 'holding out' on vagina to secure a relationship... since that makes it easier for you to exercise your own version of woman-hatred on her.... But the reality is, smart women simply avoid mean men or possibly violent men by obliging them to take some time getting to know her.

 

If you care to quote statistics, I can quote statistics all day regarding the male/female ratio of serial killers, rapists... on down to the annoying and relatively more harmless alcoholic, drug addict, and serial cheater.... fine distinction of which are occupied mostly by men.

 

... but I agree with you on one thing... no sense getting mad at snakes for being snakes.

 

They have no other way to be. Just best to avoid them.

 

But please don't tell us that all men are all one way and all want what you do.... even *I* corrected the prior poster on that.

Edited July 27, 2013 by RedRobin