A Little Suprise

[youngnlove89]

This morning I walked to my car, unlocked the door and on my seat there was a present sitting there. It startled me at first and then I realized it was from my ex. My hands began to shake and my heart started to race. I put the present on the passenger seat and tried to ignore it. I was driving and thinking to myself, “How could he continue to do this to me?”

 

It was raining HARD outside this morning too, which made it even more metaphoric. It seems to always rains at times like these. It was dark and gloomy outside and it felt like the world knew what I was feeling.

 

When I finally got to Starbucks, I opened it and inside was a pink camera case for the pink camera he bought me a week ago. I thought I was going to have a panic attack.

Then I remembered this:

 

• He lied to me about hanging out with his ex girlfriend
  
• He lied to me about her having a boyfriend
  
• He told me that they hung out “several” times since December
  
• He told me that his ex girlfriend was going to be in his life whether I liked it or not
  
• He told me if I couldn’t handle it then I shouldn’t be with him
  

Why should I think anything of this pink camera case? I recollected myself. Remembered why we shouldn't be together and decided to just ignore him. I am not going to say "thank you" this time.

 

That's the right thing to do, right? My mind is so scattered and I can't think clearly. So instead, I’m going to be happy and not let this hold me back. I am moving on. I can do this.

[Legatus]

Of course you can do this! Playing games is not for you so if he wants to say something he should do it. Little gifts and plots - you can do SO SO much better than this!

 

It's definitely right thing to do. But what are you gonna do with it? Keep, donate, throw away, burn, smash, let it be eaten by sharks?

 

just asking

[youngnlove89]

Of course you can do this! Playing games is not for you so if he wants to say something he should do it. Little gifts and plots - you can do SO SO much better than this!

 

It's definitely right thing to do. But what are you gonna do with it? Keep, donate, throw away, burn, smash, let it be eaten by sharks?

 

just asking

 

 

I'm going to keep it. This is the first present he gave me and I like it. Why can't I keep it? I deserve it after all I've put up with it!

 

I'm not sure how I will feel when I use it and I hope it doesn't bring up any emotion.

 

One thing I don't like though is how he got into my car to put the present there. Is that kind of creepy? He knows my code so that is how he got in.

[Legatus]

It's creepy on so many levels I can't describe it.

 

Of course you can keep it. I personally wouldn't, why? I guess I wouldn't want to form any kind of attachment even to a pretty little pink thing. Moreover if he realizes you kept it I wouldn't br surprised if more surprises pop up all of the sudden.

 

But I'm just speculating. If you like it and are sure it won't mean anything to you, then I can't see the reason why not keep it.

 

After all you can bin it any time

[youngnlove89]

It's creepy on so many levels I can't describe it.

 

Of course you can keep it. I personally wouldn't, why? I guess I wouldn't want to form any kind of attachment even to a pretty little pink thing. Moreover if he realizes you kept it I wouldn't br surprised if more surprises pop up all of the sudden.

 

But I'm just speculating. If you like it and are sure it won't mean anything to you, then I can't see the reason why not keep it.

 

After all you can bin it any time

 

I just was very surprised. I couldn't believe he got into my car to put a present there. When he personally gave me my first present (the camera) last week he said he had another one being shipped to his house. I didn't believe it, but I told him to just mail it to me. I honestly didn't think I would ever see it. But driving to my house, putting it in my car and then having it wrapped as a present, I am just stunned.

 

I'm not going to through away a nice camera and case. That would be stupid. I'm going to use it. I mean, it would be silly not to keep it. I think it's all in the mind, I will associate the camera as it is...a camera. Nothing more.

 

I just don't get his tactics. Hopefully now that is the end of it.

[GorillaTheater]

I'd look into getting the locks on your car re-keyed.

[Legatus]

They say there is a logic to every madness but I am having a hard time seeing his to be honest. Well apart from him being a little snake to try to make some kind of impact on your life.. On the other hand it was very confident of him to leave it in your car.

 

re-keying your lock would definitely be a good move!

Edited July 25, 2013 by Legatus

[youngnlove89]

They say there is a logic to every madness but I am having a hard time seeing his to be honest. On the other hand it was very confident of him to leave it in your car. He must have known you wouldn't mind...

 

re-keying your lock would definitely be a good move!

 

 

Yea. I never expected him to get in my car like that. I kind of feel violated because sometimes I have stuff in my car that I don't want people to see. I used to keep my notebook of feelings in there to take to my Psychologist and for some reason yesterday I took it out. I'm glad I did.

 

I don't understand his logic either. Maybe he gave it to me because he didn't know what to do with a pink camera case, but to wrap it up? Or maybe he wanted to pull me back in, see if I am still there? If a guy doesn't care, he wouldn't have driven all the way to my apartment, break into my car and put a present in there. It's odd.

 

Stop messing with my heart!

[mtnbiker3000]

Put the camera in the case and place it on the ground. Now, drive over it... slowly. CRUUUUUUNCH!!!! Nah, keep it if ya want it. Up to you

[youngnlove89]

Put the camera in the case and place it on the ground. Now, drive over it... slowly. CRUUUUUUNCH!!!! Nah, keep it if ya want it. Up to you

 

Haha It's good to have humor in times like these.

 

Nah, I'll keep it. I do like it. But I don't like him.

[mercuryshadow]

My cheating, lying ex gave me gifts, too. It didn't change the fact that he was a cheater and a liar. It meant that he's human and capable of generosity and gestures of caring; these guys are not evil. They simply have flaws which are irreconcilable in the context of a healthy relationship.

[youngnlove89]

My cheating, lying ex gave me gifts, too. It didn't change the fact that he was a cheater and a liar. It meant that he's human and capable of generosity and gestures of caring; these guys are not evil. They simply have flaws which are irreconcilable in the context of a healthy relationship.

 

This is the first time he has ever bought me a gift.

 

But yes, maybe it is to ease their guilt.

 

I know he isn't evil, but he hasn't been good to me. And this, in a way, is just rude. I'm trying to move on. Then he puts a gift in my car? I am thankful and pissed at the same time.

[mtnbiker3000]

Drop the thankful and keep the pissed!!!

[Treasa]

Oh my God, if one of my exes went into my car to put something there, or for any reason, I'd skin him alive.

 

Sell the case on eBay (or hide it until you're over him and can use it), have your locks re-keyed, and ignore him. Talk about invasion of privacy.

[youngnlove89]

Oh my God, if one of my exes went into my car to put something there, or for any reason, I'd skin him alive.

 

Sell the case on eBay (or hide it until you're over him and can use it), have your locks re-keyed, and ignore him. Talk about invasion of privacy.

 

Haha you are so funny.

 

It was invasion of privacy, but I know he would never try to hurt me or do something bad to me. I think he had good intentions although it was not right. It wasn't fair to me. Whether he was trying to pull me back or just being nice, it wasn't right to do that while I'm trying to move on.

[Sneaky]

I'm sorry but this is incredibly creepy, he got into your car without your knowledge. The case isn't even the biggest problem here... yikes.

[mercuryshadow]

This is the first time he has ever bought me a gift.

 

But yes, maybe it is to ease their guilt.

 

I know he isn't evil, but he hasn't been good to me. And this, in a way, is just rude. I'm trying to move on. Then he puts a gift in my car? I am thankful and pissed at the same time.

 

He behaved in irreconcilable ways toward you, and you're right, it's not fair. He is either trying to ease his guilt (if he has any) as you said, reel you back in, or simply offer a gesture of good will. But it doesn't matter. Don't LET it matter. It's his business now, and your happiness and healing is YOUR business.

 

PS- Lock your car from now on.

[youngnlove89]

He behaved in irreconcilable ways toward you, and you're right, it's not fair. He is either trying to ease his guilt (if he has any) as you said, reel you back in, or simply offer a gesture of good will. But it doesn't matter. Don't LET it matter. It's his business now, and your happiness and healing is YOUR business.

 

PS- Lock your car from now on.

 

I do lock my car. I have a security pad to punch in if I were to ever forget my keys. He knows my security code to get inside.

 

Yep. You are right. It's his business, not mine. I'm just going to enjoy my gift.

[youngnlove89]

I'm sorry but this is incredibly creepy, he got into your car without your knowledge. The case isn't even the biggest problem here... yikes.

 

You know, a lot of people told me that is creepy. When I first saw the present I didn't think it was creepy. But I guess I know him and we were together for 2.5 years, I know his intention was to be anything, but creepy.

 

See, if he were my boyfriend still and did that it would have been cute. I would've loved it. But now, it's just confusing and I don't know how to feel anymore.

 

I mean, I still won't talk to him or anything, it was just so weird of him to do that. My mind is jumbled...

[mtnbiker3000]

You know, a lot of people told me that is creepy. When I first saw the present I didn't think it was creepy. But I guess I know him and we were together for 2.5 years, I know his intention was to be anything, but creepy.

 

See, if he were my boyfriend still and did that it would have been cute. I would've loved it. But now, it's just confusing and I don't know how to feel anymore.

 

I mean, I still won't talk to him or anything, it was just so weird of him to do that. My mind is jumbled...

 

At this point, your mind and thoughts are clouded. This happened to all of us when at the same point. Now is when you should really listen to those you trust for guidance. This is of the utmost importance, as you simply cannot trust your own feelings right now...

[youngnlove89]

At this point, your mind and thoughts are clouded. This happened to all of us when at the same point. Now is when you should really listen to those you trust for guidance. This is of the utmost importance, as you simply cannot trust your own feelings right now...

 

I know

 

I don't like how this happened. I was doing better without him sneaking in.

[youngnlove89]

I don't get it.

 

I guess it could have been worse. He could have knocked on my door. Or called me. Or tried to see me. Instead he just put it in my car.

 

He got what he wanted. Me over-analyzing everything.

 

I'm sad. I'm not going to contact him. I just feel sad now. He was there, at my apartment and I had no idea.

 

Then he probably went back to his house and invited her over.

[mtnbiker3000]

You may want to do what Mack suggested and give it back with a clear explanation that you really want nothing, and I mean nothing, to do with him any longer. Or else this will keep happening, and TBH, I am not sure you have the strength right now to weather that storm... He is manipulative and controlling. As Mack said, this isn't over, especially if you don't make it over with no room for interpretation. He will text. He will call. He will show up at your home/work. Can you resist this? You may even want to consider involving the cops if need be.

 

We've all followed your threads enough to know that although you have now taken some positive steps forward, it will be all to easy to slide backwards, based on HIS actions. Please do not let him do that to you!!

 

For me, I knew the only way to begin to heal was to remove my ex like a cancer. NC all the way. 100%. And it works. Slowly but surely, it works!!! As soon as he gets to you, you will be back at square one. I don't have to tell you how that goes...

[youngnlove89]

I guess I'm just sad because I love him. I still miss the son of a gun. And I wish none of this happened. I wish we could have been the couple I dreamt of. I wish he didn't lie to me. I wish he loved me the way I loved him. I wish and wish. But the fact remains: he is gone.

 

I'm remaining no contact. But I want to be honest with my feelings because this is honestly how I feel. Imagine trying to get over someone, working so hard and then this happens. Wouldn't it just give you a mind f.%^$? This does hurt me. I am still human and this sucks. I didn't see it coming.

[mtnbiker3000]

He got what he wanted. Me over-analyzing everything.

 

Start listening to the MP3 book I sent you...

 

When used properly, your mind and thoughts are a tool to be used only when required. With practice, you will be able to simply stop compulsive thinking...