SkylerJean Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 It literally hurts all the time. There's no relief. I cry all the time. I don't want to be around people yet I hate being alone. He's the only person I want to be around. I can't sleep right now because I can't stop thinking about him. This is the most pain I've ever felt in my life. How can I stop it? How long will this last? I feel like it'll never stop. I'm sorry if I'm posting in the wrong place. If I am, please let me know where I should post. Thanks for listening. 2
sadwithouthim Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Yes, I know the feeling. I've been no contact for over 2 weeks now with my emotional affair of 4 1/2 years. I stay logged into my email just hoping he'll write to me. I've cried for hours, it did help some. I hate that empty feeling, and thinking if only we could talk one more time. In another way, I don't want him to break NC because it was painful for him, as I'm married and didn't have a lot of time for him. I hear his voice in my head, and my heart aches to hear him again. We shared so much in those years. I thought about pulling out the few letters he wrote to me. I know it will make me cry to read them, but I also think it helps to cry. It's part of healing. Even as I write this, I feel like little emptiness ache in the pit of my stomach, like heartbreak. I'm sorry you're hurting, just know you're not alone. (hugs) 1
sadwithouthim Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I'm also wondering how long it will last. I guess it doesn't help that I keep online stalking him. I should just cancel all the email accounts. There are thousands of emails, pictures, etc. I just don't want to feel like I'm throwing away 4 1/2 years. 1
Author SkylerJean Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 I'm also wondering how long it will last. I guess it doesn't help that I keep online stalking him. I should just cancel all the email accounts. There are thousands of emails, pictures, etc. I just don't want to feel like I'm throwing away 4 1/2 years. I've also invested 4 1/2 years in him, but it's a little different with us. We were never really "together", although we were close. Maybe just in my mind at least but he's my best friend. I've lost my best friend. He won't even talk to me.
supaflyz Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 The thing is you can't stop the pain. This is 3 months for me and 1 month NC and there are days I still feel bad. I mean you have to learn how to live with the pain to be a stronger person.
Author SkylerJean Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 The thing is you can't stop the pain. This is 3 months for me and 1 month NC and there are days I still feel bad. I mean you have to learn how to live with the pain to be a stronger person. Oh my GOD!! 3 months? Really? I don't think I could take feeling like this for another 3 days. I miss him so much.
sprucegoose Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Three months seems like an eternity....but if you keep focusing on making your life better without your ex, you'll see how the days quickly pass on by. 1
onearthur Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Oh my GOD!! 3 months? Really? I don't think I could take feeling like this for another 3 days. I miss him so much. How are you feeling now? i'm in a similar boat, broke up a relationship of 7 years as she cheated on me... Keep us posted.
xilver Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 It literally hurts all the time. There's no relief. I cry all the time. I don't want to be around people yet I hate being alone. He's the only person I want to be around. I can't sleep right now because I can't stop thinking about him. This is the most pain I've ever felt in my life. How can I stop it? How long will this last? I feel like it'll never stop. I'm sorry if I'm posting in the wrong place. If I am, please let me know where I should post. Thanks for listening. You can't stop it. How long it lasts depends on you. What you need to do is accept it. You need to accept the pain and almost embrace it. Expect it to be there. Think about YOU and what makes you HAPPY. Exercise as much as you can. Run or do anything to get your heart rate up. Listen to music, learn something new, better yourself. Eventually you will feel good enough to begin talking to people again. 1
daftpunk Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 This is the risk of opening your heart to someone. Once you remove your armor, there's nothing to shield you from the cuts they can inflict upon you. But cuts do heal. Slowly but surely, they heal. You can prolong the pain they cause by picking at the scab, however. I know none of this is what you want to hear. It's not what I wanted to hear when I was in your position. I hated when people told me to move on. I didn't want to move on. I hated when people told me things would get better without her. There was no "without her". I hated when people said I deserved better. There is no one better. And yet, here I am. I've moved on. I am without her. And I've done better. And the pain I endured has made me that much wiser. 2
Author SkylerJean Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 So he told he the other day that he isn't interested in a relationship with anyone right now, as he's about to start school and can't have any distractions and it wouldn't be fair to whoever he would be involved with. I said I respected that and told him I missed him and hoped we could still be friends. He said of course. And that was it. We hung up the phone and haven't spoken since. Today, he deleted me from all his social media accounts. Fb, instagram, twitter, even kik. Why would he do that after he said we'd be friends? All I want is to be with him. He's all that makes me happy. This is killing me. Idk what to do now. I feel like my life is so empty. Wtf can I do to fix this?
Frog Princess Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 What you are feeling sucks! And you want to know what? It does get better...I promise. I was where you are 2.5 months ago...4 months ago...8 months ago...and 2 years ago. And it was all with the same guy. He was the love of my life. We got along well, had similar interests, pushed each other to do greater things in life and even finished each other's sentences. We kept going back and forth. Now it's finally over. What I've come to realize is that as cliche as it sounds, happiness is a choice. We can choose to succumb to the misery that accompanies a break up. We can blame the other person and bash them every chance we get. Or we can work tirelessly to get ourselves out of this funk. It's tough. Just two weeks ago, my mother saw my ex with his ex/new girlfriend (long story). When she told me I threw away my lunch and bawled. But you know what, I decided to put my happiness in overdrive. Here are a few things that I've been doing that seem to work: 1) Find a hobby - something you really like and can get lost in. When you're putting all of your energy into an activity, it can serve as a welcomed distraction even if it's for a short period of time. 2) Create a BUM - my best friend and I have been creating BUMs since high school. BUM stands for Break Up Mix. It's a playlist of break up/dance party songs. I suggest only putting upbeat songs on it because it's less likely to make you cry. For me, starting out with the "I don't need you" anthems like "Single Ladies", "Gives You Hell" & "Wake Up Call" help to get me moving. Of course it will depend on what genre of music you prefer. 3) Get rid of the things that remind you of him - you might have shared some beautiful moments and want to keep pieces of him around. Be careful. These can also serve as painful reminders of what the two of you had. Even if you decide that you can't part with them, finding a place to stash them is probably a good idea. 4) Check out my blog at Smooching Frogs for a good laugh. Shameless plug - yes. Will you regret it - no!
Author SkylerJean Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 What you are feeling sucks! And you want to know what? It does get better...I promise. I was where you are 2.5 months ago...4 months ago...8 months ago...and 2 years ago. And it was all with the same guy. He was the love of my life. We got along well, had similar interests, pushed each other to do greater things in life and even finished each other's sentences. We kept going back and forth. Now it's finally over. What I've come to realize is that as cliche as it sounds, happiness is a choice. We can choose to succumb to the misery that accompanies a break up. We can blame the other person and bash them every chance we get. Or we can work tirelessly to get ourselves out of this funk. It's tough. Just two weeks ago, my mother saw my ex with his ex/new girlfriend (long story). When she told me I threw away my lunch and bawled. But you know what, I decided to put my happiness in overdrive. Here are a few things that I've been doing that seem to work: 1) Find a hobby - something you really like and can get lost in. When you're putting all of your energy into an activity, it can serve as a welcomed distraction even if it's for a short period of time. 2) Create a BUM - my best friend and I have been creating BUMs since high school. BUM stands for Break Up Mix. It's a playlist of break up/dance party songs. I suggest only putting upbeat songs on it because it's less likely to make you cry. For me, starting out with the "I don't need you" anthems like "Single Ladies", "Gives You Hell" & "Wake Up Call" help to get me moving. Of course it will depend on what genre of music you prefer. 3) Get rid of the things that remind you of him - you might have shared some beautiful moments and want to keep pieces of him around. Be careful. These can also serve as painful reminders of what the two of you had. Even if you decide that you can't part with them, finding a place to stash them is probably a good idea. 4) Check out my blog at Smooching Frogs for a good laugh. Shameless plug - yes. Will you regret it - no! First off, let me say that I just spent almost an hour on your blog. Very entertaining, I must say that I actually chuckled a few times. But although distractions help for a bit, it's not long before reality sets in again. I not only lost who I feel is the love of my life, but also my best and closest friend. I told him I loved him on a drunken mistake and we slept together (best night of my life!) and then this happens. I don't know what happen or where to go from here.
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