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Can people truly change?


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Posted

At my workplace we have a manager that is 30 years old. Over the course of the 5 years he has worked there, he has had sex with 15 of the girls and made out with 4 other girls. 19 girls over a 5 year span... all at the same workplace. In his past, he was known for being a "lady's man" and a "heartbreaker." He had sex with about 50 women throughout his life (roughly) and this is not including the ones from work.

 

He is so charming, good looking and fun to be around. He helps people out with money issues and is always good to go to for life advice. Although some people fall for it, there is a number of people at work that see right through them. They think he is very selfish and manipulative, and only cares about himself.

 

He got his ex gf and his mother of his child, pregnant, again. They wanted to "try things out" since it has been 8 years apart but she always denied him when he wanted her back because she didnt want to be hurt again. After finding out she got pregnant, they quickly moved in together but it was very unexpected.

 

Now that is he settling down and will have a kind of dysfunctional (?) family.. his ex gf had another kid after his was born but ended up divorcing him.. so now there will be a total of 3 kids when the baby is born. He also had an affair with a married woman we used to work with and after that came out is when he realized he needs to stop messing around.

 

He claims that he has changed.. but can anyone really change that much after all of his employees he's had sex with (and doesn't see what was wrong with that and actually made the excuse of "it takes 2 to tango", and his very promiscous past. The mother of his child that he just moved in with, they also had a pretty bad break up. He left her a little after their baby was born because he felt like he wasn't ready to settle down. So, there was a lot of tension and fights over that situation.

Posted

Sure, people can change if it's truly what they want. Everyone makes their own decisions though and if his desire to be with other women is more than his desire to have a stable life with the mother of his children, this will fail.

Posted

Yes, I think it's possible. Sometimes people reach a certain stage in their lives when their priorities shift and they really want to make a change.

 

I'm curious, how do you know all the inside scoop? Did he share all of that with you? That's a lot of detail

Posted

if they truly want to change i believe they could, but thats up to the person you can "want" to change but unless you truly do want it then they wont change until that point where they feel like they have to change

Posted

I believe people can change, but not for others. They have to truly really want to change for better of themselves.

Posted

People change out of desperation when they get scared, people as a general rule don't want to be alone so as soon as they realize that eventually looks will fade and even the best looking guy on the planet will stop turning heads that is when they will truly change and re evaluate their behaviour and their life. Fear changes people and for the most part the fear of being alone is a good motivator , in my opinion anyways

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