hellischrome Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Update. The final step was him telling me that he needed the famous time and space to think, and that seeing me or reading my e-mails wasn't helping the process. Yesterday I was feeling really bad and didn't even go to work. I wrote to him, saying that I could ask for someone else's company, but I would have loved to be in his company as I was afraid that my conditions would get worse during the evening. He replied after 10 seconds, saying -Sure, I will be there! Should I bring clothes for work tomorrow? (meaning: do you want me to sleep there?). And I said that I didn't know, as he wanted. He came at around 9pm and we ordered Thai. Then I said I was too tired and went upstairs. He came in my room, undressed and came in bed with me. We were really really close, and somehow we started kissing (he was trying to avoid that). At some point I just realised and turned on my side, being silent and without touching him. After 10 minutes he just grabbed me and started to kiss me and held me all night. This morning too he was really sweet and everything. Then he left to go to work. I don't know what to do. I should probably wait for him to write to me, even if I have feelings and things to say in this moment... right?
Echo000 Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 you are in the wrong forum. This is a break up forum, with people who are broken up and trying to move on. If you cant do NC, you should move over to dating/second chances. Because i dont really know what your looking for here, advice wise. Yes, you should wait for him to write. But honestly, sounds like he is okay coming over because its free sex/cuddle time with no strings/committments attached for him. Yikes. I dont know you, but you are so much better than a booty/whatever-it-is-you-guys-are-doing call. If he asked for space, give it to him. And, although i dont believe in using NC this way, giving him that space and disappearing actually makes you MORE appealing. More desired/sought after. your making yourself so easy..he has to do literally no work. Just wait for you to call him. My question for you is this: WHY cant you do No Contact? What is the honest reason?
Author hellischrome Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Wwwell we actually ARE broken up, as he dumped more than three weeks ago now. And God knows if I want to move on, but I just can't! I know it sounds stupid, childish and whatever, but I can't move. I feel the urge to hear from him. Probably it's because he didn't clearly say -This is a Goodbye and I am not coming back, ever-, so I am still hanging and hoping. I can't do NC because honestly my fear is that days will just go by and he will realise he does much better without me, and he will move on and I will still be here waiting for him. I don't even know if he will have the courage to tell me it's completely over once he decided that, talking about courage he is not the bext example.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Wwwell we actually ARE broken up, as he dumped more than three weeks ago now. And God knows if I want to move on, but I just can't! I know it sounds stupid, childish and whatever, but I can't move. I feel the urge to hear from him. Probably it's because he didn't clearly say -This is a Goodbye and I am not coming back, ever-, so I am still hanging and hoping. I can't do NC because honestly my fear is that days will just go by and he will realise he does much better without me, and he will move on and I will still be here waiting for him. I don't even know if he will have the courage to tell me it's completely over once he decided that, talking about courage he is not the bext example. So you are ready to be a sex toy then? Because that's what you are going to be if you continue this route. The last way to bring a guy back is to have sex with him. It's really the worst possible approach. But you'll do what you want to do. Just get ready for a terrible ride.
Author hellischrome Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 In order: aspiringuitarheroine, no I am not ready for that and I don't want to! And of course I realise that I am making a horrible mistake after the other. And basically he is being a fick, and I am enabling his behaviour. And by the way, I LOVED your last post. Skid Mark, sorry, I am not a native speaker and I could sense some irony. But I can tell you that: I am not special at all, I am quite silly and stupid in all this story actually. I may be special, but not for him, it's quite clear! And our relationship was a serious S*hit, at some point we hated each other, we went on horrible vacations, we would always fight. Terrible, terrible story. I don't really think we were that much in love as well. This is why I can't really make up my mind. I read tons of stories of people destroyed because they lost the love of their life... but this is not my story, I know we shouldn't stay together and still the fact that I can't get over it it's killing me because I feel stupid. It just pisses me off that he didn't have the balls to tell me that it was over, he just came up with the story of time & space. But on the other hand I don't have balls as well otherwise I would just wave goodbye. It's like the -don't think about an elephant- thing. I know I don't have to because it's over, it's stupid, and it wasn't mean to work. But still, the elephant is there.
veggirl Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 don't you think EVERYONE ELSE who is going nc also "has the urge" to hear from their ex? you are not a special or unique case. you are textbook. you need to WOMAN UP like the other people who are nc and just freakin do it. DUH its going to be hard, did you think you wouldn't miss him? cmon. you arent even trying. he is using you for sex now, that's lovely!
lavenderlove Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Oh and how do I know? Because I've A). been you (it didn't work) and B). been him (no-strings-attached familiar sex is awesome when you're the one doing the using). Be the bigger person - it's hard, it hurts, but it's worth it. Because then you meet someone who respects you and treats you well, and boy, does it feel good. OMG! Someone that treats you well and respects you? Is there really light at the end of the tunnel? Yaaaay!
lavenderlove Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Totally But you have to respect yourself. Otherwise, how can someone respect you? Agreed! It's time to start.
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