Author Star Gazer Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Instead of spending money and time getting ready to go out, I'm sure most women would rather just go to the supermarket and pick up something to eat. Most of those stories you read are urban myths - the occasional one who does it for a lifestyle to date rich men, or to write an article, does not make it a rule. It takes me 2 hours - and money for outfits, makeup and all that - to get ready for a date, I'm not going to do that every night of the week just to get a free dinner. Dating is EXHAUSTING. Pretending to be interested and have conversation with someone just to eat for free? Don't be absurd. It's always "women I know" or "I have a friend who knows a woman who told him" with these stories. I assure you, it's real. My friend is one of them. Straight up was a serial dater. "A girl's gotta eat!" was quite literally her motto.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 I'm not sure what you mean by a serial dater to be honest SG. I believe that if you were to put the definitions of the words "serial" and "dater" together you'd get someone who dates only one person at a time. In a potential partner isn't that a good thing? (The word "serial" has a negative connotation probably because it's used most often in the phrase "serial killer". But it's really a value-neutral word, used in engineering ect ....e.g., setting the resistors up serially or in parallel...) If the guy meant that he thought this girl was a woman who "uses" her dates for free meals, drinks, validation... How did the conversation between your friend and her date go? He asked her how OLD has been going for her. She said it was both fun and disappointing and exhausting and she hoped to be done with it soon, as soon as she meets the right guy. His response was, "You're a total serial dater!" and when pressed for why he thought that, he just said he figured/assumed.
StayBeautiful Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 So she goes out at least 4 nights on different dates a week in order to save money on food. In fact, she does not even budget much for food because she plans to go on dates most nights of the week. Not buying it. Sure there are some women who date a lot and enjoy being paid to eat out in different places on a regular basis. But what people on this thread are talking about is women who do it as a daily lifestyle, and don't even buy or budget for food.
Author Star Gazer Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 So she goes out at least 4 nights on different dates a week in order to save money on food. In fact, she does not even budget much for food because she plans to go on dates most nights of the week. She was going out with any guy who'd ask, regardless of whether she was interested, because she had nothing better to do, and, "A girl's gotta eat!" You can "buy it" or not, I could care less. But it happened. Add to that that she's actually a nice person doing this, and I imagine that worse women would handle it much worse.
crude Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 StayBeautiful, you're forgetting that women don't buy new clothes for every date, they go to their closet and pick something out, they get their hair done on a regular basis, not for a date they don't care about, and because they have no interest in the man, it isn't difficult to be with him, because they're not putting forth any effort. It's no tougher than speaking to someone in a supermarket, it's just a little conversation. Women enjoy getting dressed up and going out, and it's no big deal to spend time with an average guy you don't want a relationship with. And it's FREE, WHEEEEE!!!! No wonder so many men wonder why a woman dumped him or said not compatible or faded after 3 or 4 dates. She's with the next guy on her OLD list.
Imajerk17 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) He asked her how OLD has been going for her. She said it was both fun and disappointing and exhausting and she hoped to be done with it soon, as soon as she meets the right guy. His response was, "You're a total serial dater!" and when pressed for why he thought that, he just said he figured/assumed. I can kind of see why he reacted that way now. The way she put it somewhat made it sound that she is interviewing candidates for a job opening as a hiring manager would, except *she* is the one getting wined and dined and not the candidates she is checking out. A better way for her to respond, IMO, would have been "It's OK, I get a lot of emails but I'm selective about who I go out with. It's nice to finally meet you! How's your experience been so far?" And hopefully your friend made a sincere offer to pay for her share of the bill. I'm not saying that your friend is a user or anything. In all fairness that was a tough question for your friend to answer. If she is looking to meet Mr Right then it does make sense that she would try to meet more men (and go on all these first dates) to increase her odds of finding him. I am giving you some real talk about how guys tend to view OLD, and how it colors our perception of the woman sitting across the table from us. Most of us fellas sometimes find ourselves operating under the baseline assumption that we have to work a lot harder to get dates and that OLD for you women is this neverending stream of compliments and free dinners and drinks. (And that yes a few women, such as your other friend, do try to take advantage of that in a way that is extremely uncool.) I get that is not quite like that, but old attitudes do die hard. Edited July 26, 2013 by Imajerk17
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