MrTurk Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I've noticed mostly at work, but occasionally in certain social situations, that a lot of women will not say hello to me unless we are walking down the same aisle, passing right by each other. But those same women....if I am not facing them, and they happen to walk by me, they will not say hello. Its as if they are "forced" to be cordial when they know I see them, but any other time they could give a f*ck less about me. Are there any guys that deal with this wonderful social setting? And are there any women that give out fake hellos such as this?
Ryan R. Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I've never had that happen to me. In fact, a lot of people in general tend to go out of their way to say hello to me.
gaius Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I get my exercise early in the morning and usually pass by 5 or so women on average. Some of them go out of their way to say hello and make small talk, some of them simply offer a polite hello, others reach for their phone to avoid making eye contact and I even had one who crossed the street when she saw me coming then crossed back when I was past her. It really has nothing to do with you at all but rather about how comfortable they are with other people they don't know, especially men. It's not their responsibility to make you feel valued every time they see you. Get over yourself. 2
Author MrTurk Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 It's not their responsibility to make you feel valued every time they see you. Get over yourself. LOL It has nothing to do with me needing to feel valued by them.....and has everything to do with the fact that if they dont care enough to say hello when I dont notice them, but they notice me....then why offer a fake hello when I do?? Men I know say hello to me whether I see them or not. And theres some men that walk right past me without saying hello....they dont partake in the fake hellos one day and ignore me the next. 1
Socks At Play Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I find it's mostly about eye contact. If I can make eye contact with a person usually I get a hello out of them whether it's in response to mine or they beat me to it. (Granted, this is vastly more successful in something like a residential neighborhood than a financial district.) Expecting people who aren't facing you to say hello is a bit much. Continuing on what gaius had to say, I find usually in the morning people are more talkative in general. Some of the women even have great smiles to pass along... I really enjoy it and I wonder how some ladies do that at 5:30 in the morning while running?! At work, yeah there are women who refuse to acknowledge I exist and then suddenly one day in the lunch room they're chatting me up. I have no idea what is going on in their minds, I just adjust myself to how they're reacting to me. If somebody ignores my hellos a few times then I just stop saying it to them.
Author MrTurk Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Expecting people who aren't facing you to say hello is a bit much. I'm talking about people that I see a few times a week. They will always say hello when face to face. But if my back is turned, they will walk right past me and not say a word. I'm not talking about complete random strangers in public, or people I never met at work. At work, yeah there are women who refuse to acknowledge I exist and then suddenly one day in the lunch room they're chatting me up. Yea...its called selective consideration. They only consider talking to you when it suits them.
Ryan R. Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 But if my back is turned, they will walk right past me and not say a word. I never talk to people when their back is turned if I'm walking unless I'm good friends with them. It makes no sense to me to do something like that. 1
Author MrTurk Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 I never talk to people when their back is turned if I'm walking unless I'm good friends with them. It makes no sense to me to do something like that. Either you are just jerking around with this topic, or you are unable to comprehend my point. If you walk into work...and a guy you know is standing there...not facing you, looking at the paper....according to you...it makes no sense to politely say..."Morning Jim" and keep walking....just a pleasant greeting like that?
Lani Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Sometimes we just don't want to talk. To anyone. Simple as that. And if you haven't seen us (or at least we think that) then there isn't a need to say hello if we're going to see you again soon enough anyway. The only reason I would make note to say hello to someone who's back was turned my way was if I needed something or hadn't seen them in a long time. It just seems unnecessary the rest of the time. 1
Author MrTurk Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Sometimes we just don't want to talk. To anyone. Simple as that. And if you haven't seen us (or at least we think that) then there isn't a need to say hello if we're going to see you again soon enough anyway. The only reason I would make note to say hello to someone who's back was turned my way was if I needed something or hadn't seen them in a long time. It just seems unnecessary the rest of the time. I'm going to copy the above quote on to small business cards.....and hand them out to people anytime they say something to me
Keenly Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I'm usually the one going out of my way to be anti social. I'm not really a stop and chat kind of guy . 1
Lani Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I'm going to copy the above quote on to small business cards.....and hand them out to people anytime they say something to me Maybe people should be handing them to you, Mr chatty. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Whether a person says "hi" to you or not has nothing whatsoever to do with whether they "care." You're making quite a big deal over nothing. If YOU want greetings so much, just say "hi" to them yourself. Even if they're not facing you.
Lani Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I'm usually the one going out of my way to be anti social. I'm not really a stop and chat kind of guy . Isn't it the worst when you're walking towards someone and they're slowing down... you just know they're going to stop, but you keep walking anyway. awkward. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 If you walk into work...and a guy you know is standing there...not facing you, looking at the paper....according to you...it makes no sense to politely say..."Morning Jim" and keep walking....just a pleasant greeting like that? If I were Jim, I'd prefer you didn't. I dislike when people speak to me when I'm reading in a public place. 2
pcplod Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I've noticed mostly at work, but occasionally in certain social situations, that a lot of women will not say hello to me unless we are walking down the same aisle, passing right by each other. But those same women....if I am not facing them, and they happen to walk by me, they will not say hello. Its as if they are "forced" to be cordial when they know I see them, but any other time they could give a f*ck less about me. Are there any guys that deal with this wonderful social setting? And are there any women that give out fake hellos such as this? I have to confess that I am absolutely perplexed by your question. I would have assumed that whether a man, never mind a woman says hello to you will depend entirely on the context. I walk past other strangers, male and female, who won't even make eye contact, never mind say hello. I do find that somehow amusing, bemusing and definitely sad for them, but I would never take it as a personal affront. Why on earth would I? Even with people who I know and who know me, I often have been blanked at times by them. Sometimes it has been the last time I have seen them and I give it no more thought. Sometimes I meet them again and they do say hello. I assume that when they do blank me that they are distracted, in a bad mood, unreceptive, or even mad with me over some slight or disagreement that I may not be aware of. What I do and achieve most of the time is not to internalise, personalise it all the time. That way lies madness and paranoia. It's akin to the bloke that overhears others laughing who thinks that they must be laughing at him. Sure, sometimes, they might be laughing at him, but to think that all the time? I think those guys have the problem, a serious one that needs addressing. Just as an example, there are women out there who think that if they greet every man they cross paths with that if they are friendly they will get the wrong idea. That is their paranoia. It is a sad state of affairs for society, but it is not personal. If any of this is clearly affecting you personally and adversely I would heartily endorse you take one step back and consciously decouple yourself from the immediacy of your thoughts and to take a long, hard, deep look at the issue and your part in it. It will definitely be worth it.
Emilia Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I've noticed mostly at work, but occasionally in certain social situations, that a lot of women will not say hello to me unless we are walking down the same aisle, passing right by each other. But those same women....if I am not facing them, and they happen to walk by me, they will not say hello. Its as if they are "forced" to be cordial when they know I see them, but any other time they could give a f*ck less about me. Are there any guys that deal with this wonderful social setting? And are there any women that give out fake hellos such as this? My desk is in one of the corners in the office near a door. Men walk through that door in the morning and many of them don't say hello to me until I see them in the communal kitchen later on and they are 'forced' to. Should I take offence or - using gaius's expression and my preferred method - get over myself?
GravityMan Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Good grief, this thread, namely the OP, is silly. Different people interact with others (strangers and people they know a little or a lot) in different ways...including not interacting at all sometimes. It's just the way they are (in general) or their mood at that time. It's like you're trying to invent an "issue" here when one doesn't actually exist. It's all in your head. Get over yourself. THIS, and... Sometimes we just don't want to talk. To anyone. Simple as that. And if you haven't seen us (or at least we think that) then there isn't a need to say hello if we're going to see you again soon enough anyway. The only reason I would make note to say hello to someone who's back was turned my way was if I needed something or hadn't seen them in a long time. It just seems unnecessary the rest of the time. ...this (true for many men too, myself included), and... You're making quite a big deal over nothing. ...this.
Author MrTurk Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 You're making quite a big deal over nothing. Its just an observation. It doesnt bother me either way really. Just something I felt like bringing up
Ryan R. Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Either you are just jerking around with this topic, or you are unable to comprehend my point. If you walk into work...and a guy you know is standing there...not facing you, looking at the paper....according to you...it makes no sense to politely say..."Morning Jim" and keep walking....just a pleasant greeting like that? I'm not going to go out of my way to say hello to someone who isn't facing me. There's no point in my opinion. If he's facing me, I'll say good morning but if not, you better believe I'll keep on walking. I'm not obligated to say hello to you.
Author MrTurk Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 I'm not going to go out of my way to say hello to someone who isn't facing me. There's no point in my opinion. If he's facing me, I'll say good morning but if not, you better believe I'll keep on walking. I'm not obligated to say hello to you. I just dont beleive this. If someone you know....that you have a working relationship with....is standing there....and you walk in, in the morning....you are all telling me none of you say hello unless they are looking directly at you?? What if they are at their desk, and their desk doesnt face the door....none of you EVER say hello to that person since they arent facing you??
hppr Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 Lots of people go about their daily lives without much care for anyone else around them and will only say 'hi' or engage you in conversation if they want something from you. It is just how humans are. You can somewhat work around this by being good looking or overly friendly but you can't win em all.
lonelyinlosangeles Posted July 29, 2013 Posted July 29, 2013 75% of the people I work with are men. I find myself avoiding eye contact or saying hello to a lot of men at work (even the ones i work with on a day to day basis) because I'm a bit insecure. I also feel like if I'm always making an effort to say hello to a man he might get the wrong idea or other men will get the wrong idea and see me as being flirtatious or easy. However if he approaches me first i have no problem chatting it up or saying hello back to him.
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