Haunted Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) I'm in desperate need of some insight. I will try to make it quick and to the point. I was with my ex for 3 years. We had a heated (quick) argument and he hastily moved out. I was at work at the time and couldn't do much. I let him go - told myself if he wanted to leave I wasnt going to chase him again or anymore (the first 2 years were bumpy) We broke up the last week of April. His cosuin told me in june that he had missed me and couldnt get me out of his head. Then his father passed the first week of July and there had been no contact with him at all (he changed his phone number). I went to the calling hours - I had no idea how he (or his currernt gf) would respond to seeing me but he was glad I came and thanked me repeatedly. I sent a sympathy card. He knocked on my door last Sunday. He wanted to thank me for the card, tell me reads it everyday and that keeps it in his car door. He also told me thinks about me everyday and to tell me there was nothing going before we split. We talked for about 15 min, hugged me twice and insisted on giving me his number. He has sent somewhat a strange texts since. He still harbors resentment from last year when we broke up and I hooked up with someone. I asked what he wants from me and is he happy? He said he was happy and wanted closure. He has sent texts talking about his father and family and that he cares about me, wants me to be happy and....that he isn't in love with me anymore but loves me as a friend. He keeps telling me he is there for me. Why is he doing this after 3 months? Is he seeking some sort of comfort knowing that I'm still in love with him as I was 3 months ago? Is he second guessing his current gf? He has never been friends with an ex - why does he want to be now - Esp knowing its so hard for me. I never thought he would ever knock on my door...and I have no idea what to make of it. Edited July 25, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
BC1980 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 He is being selfish because he wants you as a friend, even though you are still in love with him. It's not fair for him to have another girlfriend and then get you as a buddy. He needs to leave you alone. He is only worried about his feelings. He might also be keeping you on the back burner, which is repulsive to me when anyone does it. I think it would be much wiser for you to move on and go NC than to worry with the WHY of what he is doing.
ImperfectCircle Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Haunt, we are going through the same thing. My ex found someone new after our five year relationship. She tells me she's the happiest she's been in a while and that I'll always have her friendship. Then she wished me a happy bday a few days ago after she told me weeks ago to not contact her, and that she still cared for me. She even showed up at my work to tell me how incredible and handsome I am, but also said she's in love with her new guy, and said she'd walk out of my life forever. And THEN, she left me a voice message that night after "walking out" saying the same things...how she respects me, how incredible I am, and that she's happy and to not reach out to her anymore so I can respect her and her new bf. It was like she was on a loop. And two weeks later, that's when she sends that "You still mean dearly to me, happy birthday...you're incredible....blah blah blah" text. I swear, it means absolutely nothing. Whatever the case Haunt, just move on like I'm doing right now. I did not reply to her bday text. I do not want to be on the back burner nor do I want to just be friends. You and I are better than that.
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