flimflam86 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Hi, Posted my story on here before. Only a week since the final 'breakup' although it was over before that. Gone through the anger stuff, it helped me get through the first few days (although I mostly kept it to myself). Now I just feel nothing, really. I am starting to doubt how I treated my ex, a bit ,which is silly as she treated me fairly badly, in retrospect. I made excuses, putting it down to the 'chase', her reluctance due to her past emotional history etc. It finally ended badly but not without her giving a bit more hope. She said I criticised her weight. I didn't at all, i've never done that to anyone. She then got a bit nasty and I basically blew my top, told her she needed mental help etc. ( I do believe she does). I couldn't help it, i'd had enough of the games and I did it in the hope I wouldn't hear fro her again. Well, I haven't for a week and counting, so far. I was blocked from FB (while we were still 'together', while her ex remained on it), then it was the app we used to speak on (this was an LDR..although we met twice this year), then it was a professional networking site. All her FB posts used to be public but it seems she's also made these private now too. Yeah, I know I shouldn't have checked and she's probably done me a favour but i was curious. It is annoying me that she did the last of these things..as I made NO attempt to contact her...I just worry what she's telling people (due to mutual business connections we have etc.). Oh, I should say before she moved her profile to 'private' the last thing she wrote was she had a business trip to the city where her ex stays....'coincidence' or the final 'game'? Anyhow, I guess, in an ideal world if she was better I would want her back. I'm not sure what i'm even bothered about. I suppose it's the cold turkey and stupidly I do miss the contact just now and feel lonely. I guess it's the severed connection and I also wonder if she is bothered about me at all or i'm already forgotten about. I have been getting little bits of attention from girls but I just feel numb, I want to even just speak to them but I just can't do it. The other side to this is the fact my ex refused to meet in person since the start of this year so i've been starved of physical attention...kinda like a vicious circle right now. I know she's not coming back so I see no point in feeling anything for her and she doesn't deserve a moment more of my thoughts...so, why, why can't I get her out of my head?? I'm also starting a new job soon (ok it's not the most amazing job ever but it's good for the current climate) and i'm concerned my thoughts of her and the way it ended will continue to invade my concentration and mind. I just can't believe she did this. If you got this far in the post...well done! ;-) (I also need to stop using humour to cover up how bad i'm feeling..i've been feeling physically sick for about 2/3 weeks now).
Darren Steez Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 FTW dude. F** The World! Who are you hurting by sitting around moping at home, being sad, crying that this girl is not coming back or what she did to you? Not her, not her friends, not your neighbor, ONLY YOU! Thing about the world is, it continues on. You can stay in one place but outside the world is moving, things are happening, that's life. So take your ex lady friend. I haven't read your story but she might have dumped you..had her ex as a fall back, so she's already detached and "moved on" You'll sit there aching for her remorse, waiting for her to feel she's sorry, say something to you, anything..but she blocked you..and that sucks, but she moved on! How long have you been together? It doesn't matter, there was a time before you met she was just a stranger (obviously), relationships run their course but why make this woman out to be more than she is? You get me? You go to that job. Women are hitting on you man?!! Talk to them damn it! All that chivalry, I'm so hurt and my pain is too deep...the only person you're hurting is you. Let go and live your life. Go and find connections..good and healthy connections, learn to flirt again and more importantly go and have fun!! Go and have fun!! FTW!! It's your life, don't waste another precious second on somebody that doesn't give a toss about you..why should you? Good luck!
Author flimflam86 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Hi, Thanks for your reply. No, no ex to fall back on...he doesn't live near her (and he moved on after her)...it was just a cheap shot at me, as her ego was hurt. The story is long...but it is worth a look...or a skim read. Known her since Feb, so, not years....but it made it all the worse, as everything was meant to be leading to seeing each other again now, instead we no longer speak...feels distinctly like a complete waste of time (i'm not young so stakes get higher) and i've been made a fool of. Something I never usually tolerate. Don't know why I did with her. I'm too experienced in relationships to have let her. You're right of course about going out and having fun. I have been trying but it creeps into my head, especially after a few drinks and tends to ruin my nights despite my best efforts to completely forget. I just didn't expect it to hit me so much. Thing is, I think she does give a toss about me (not that it matters anymore) but she was too emotionally unaware to do anything about it. She probably would have regretted the split if I hadn't blown my top right at the end....lost all patience...and rightly so. Anger is totally justified sometimes. The fact is....she decided she didn't want to be with me or maybe I did, at the end...i'm unsure really. I said if she didn't stop playing games I didn't want to speak to her in any capacity, ever again. Was a bad way for it all to end, she's an alright person in non-relationship life but she has mental issues that she needs to address and sort which seem to appear with closeness etc. She doesn't seem to acknowledge these now (but did previously). A waste of time really, she is one of those people who thinks things will just fix themselves. Just seems like a waste but you can't fix someone and I wouldn't want to. Finding it hard to let go, it's just difficult. She'll be the same as well, I know it, but she blew any chance of us being friends, in the future, and that also annoys me as it didn't have to be that way. Kinda weird knowing you'll never speak to someone again. She did the whole 'future faking' thing. Anyway, Darren, I appreciate your reply. I don't even know why i'm posting here....just venting, I guess.
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