a woman's particular dating criteria that is a pet peeve of mine: justifiable?

[soccerrprp]

Yup, been there.

 

Some of the ladies want their men to be fit and lean, but don't put in the effort to remain that way for themselves. I find that the more attractive women are like this. They rely on their current attractive form to give them the boldness to insist on such standards of men. Oh, well.

 

I'm currently dating a woman who puts her money where her mouth is....lifts, yoga,

, cardio, eats very healthy (not a vegetarian like myself, but close enough ) Now that's hot!

 

Anyway, don't date them. Simple as others have expressed.

[Maleficent]

Well, first, you have a right to your standards and so do they. If you are, in fact looking for a skinny girl though, know that there are women who stay skinny although they never work out.

 

Personally, my problem with gym rats is that working out is all that matters to them. Most end up looking like a martini glass anyways with an upper body that is way too large for the rest of the body.

And most of them aren't in shape at all because all they do is work arms and chest with a little back.

In my area anyways lol

[crude]

I don't see any reason to let it bother you. You don't have to go out with women like that, and if other guys do, it's their business. Maybe they're desperate, perhaps they get more sexually from these women, or maybe they find skinny women who are called hot not to their liking, because they want big t&a. If these women get too picky (and fat), they'll quickly find themselves on the sidelines, where no one will care what they prefer.

[Ninjainpajamas]

You were justified in my book, even calling them out on it.

 

It's one of my pet peeves as well, especially if you're not being harshly critical/judgmental of someone's physical qualities yourself until for some reason they express how entitled and deserving of this type of guy and how much they have the hots for it, blatantly expressing that with a bold (blind if you ask me) confidence, even as if that might be a compliment to you based on their "standard" of definition...that crosses a line of just merely being confident/comfortable with yourself and instead being self-absorbed/delusional and It's nearly impossible for me to understand how upon looking in the mirror they don't suddenly then realize that they aren't necessarily up to par to what they think they deserve If they're comparing and even If they did in one spectrum I highly doubt they are anything but the knock-out package they believe themselves to be.

 

Huge turn-off for me, but I guess some people just want what they want, and for a lot of these women they get nailed by a few guys they think are hot and now they think that's their standard. Chances are, that guy didn't feel/think the same way about you.

 

And then on the flip-side you meet/know someone who is basically stunning, and questions whether she's attractive or not...highly critical and self-deprecating.

 

Mind-boggling...I get some of it is actually low self-esteem and overcompensation for a hidden insecurity but still, I don't know how people rationalize or emotionalize this elephant in the room enough to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist.

 

For me personally I've always dated people for qualities that weren't only skin deep, so it's disappointing to hear how vain and superficial people can be and even relegate their own entitlement based on the type of men they can date. If I'm interested in someone it's because of the whole package, so I wouldn't take it as a compliment to be favored for one superficial quality heavily. And I will definitely say how I feel and what I think, that's just the kind of person I am, If I don't like it...you'll know it, unless you're not even worth the time or I don't even care, but it will frustrate me If I say nothing otherwise in most cases...I just don't think it's the right way to size yourself up to other people and feel this double-standard is ok just because it's you...I'll reality check that.

[lesbihonest]

In case you're not properly educated in logical reasoning, it's called my own reasoning / opinion on an issue in a general sense...lol you're really going to play the sarcasm card and be nice/nasty? Cute.

[lesbihonest]

So you are concerned for other guys who are not even dating her? That's so nice of you

 

@Emilia In case you're not properly educated in logical reasoning, it's called my own reasoning / opinion on an issue in a general sense...lol you're really going to play the sarcasm card and be nice/nasty? Cute.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I understand that women have certain criteria with picking somebody for a relationship but this requirement makes me a bit irate and I wanted to get to know your thoughts on whether or not:

 

For me, I'm a bit of a gym rat, I play sports and work out 4-5 times a week. I definitely do try my best to stay in shape and try to eat as healthy as I can.

 

 

I just feel that if a woman wants a guy that is in shape/fit and goes to the gym, she needs to do the same as well. I think it's kind of ridiculous that she would ride the coattails of her metabolism and demand a guy that spends his daily life exercising.

 

Of course I told them off but I'm curious...are my thoughts justifiable

 

 

They would be justifiable if you were in the legal system.

 

 

But you pay no heed to the fact that women have scores of options for their dance cards, and they need to sort the prospects somehow.

 

 

Thus, a woman whose IQ is "125" is justified in paring down her list of prospects by requiring men to have an IQ of "140" before she'll date them.

 

 

Statistically speaking, if your inbox has 1000 applicants, you'll just never get out the door to actual dates if you sit back and write detailed, heart-felt responses to each and every one.

 

Instead, for the sake of (well, living one's life)... she needs to whittle that list of 1000 down to 20-50 to have a fighting chance at juggling the numbers.

 

The "140" standard for IQ was not reflective of her own IQ, in my example. It was merely an arbitrary number whose main purpose was to get the line somewhere in the range of excluding all of the prospects beyond 2 to 5% of those who responded to her mythical ad.