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a woman's particular dating criteria that is a pet peeve of mine: justifiable?

lesbihonest

By lesbihonest
in Dating

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lesbihonest Member

lesbihonest

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I understand that women have certain criteria with picking somebody for a relationship but this requirement makes me a bit irate and I wanted to get to know your thoughts on whether or not:

 

For me, I'm a bit of a gym rat, I play sports and work out 4-5 times a week. I definitely do try my best to stay in shape and try to eat as healthy as I can.

 

Recently, I've met 2 women (as friends only) that tell me that it's a MUST that a guy is in-shape, fit/muscular and goes to the gym. Here's the thing though, they don't go to the gym themselves. They tell me that all they do is eat healthy and doesn't need to work out because they have great asian metabolism and will always be skinny. I've seen them in their bathing suits and their bodies are completely frumpy; obviously shows that they need to hit the gym.

 

I just feel that if a woman wants a guy that is in shape/fit and goes to the gym, she needs to do the same as well. I think it's kind of ridiculous that she would ride the coattails of her metabolism and demand a guy that spends his daily life exercising.

 

Of course I told them off but I'm curious...are my thoughts justifiable

Balzac Established Member

Balzac

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You're free to not choose them. I guess telling them off is your style option. I'd just never date them.

  • Like 9
BradJacobs Established Member

BradJacobs

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They don't find other people's fat attractive while overlooking their own.

 

It's quite common.

  • Like 7
sillyanswer Established Member

sillyanswer

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Justifiable? Sure! People can set their own standards. If they set them in a way that appears to be a double-standard then some people will find that unattractive in itself, and that's fine too.

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Phantom888 Established Member

Phantom888

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There is a double-standard. A woman with big juicy breasts and big butt will attract more men than a man with big man-boobs and a fat ass attracting women. Why? From an evolutionary perspective, a curvy woman is more fertile, and men like that. On the other hand, a fat dude is slow and can't hunt, so women don't like that. That's the way it is.

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white Established Member

white

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There is a double-standard. A woman with big juicy breasts and big butt will attract more men than a man with big man-boobs and a fat ass attracting women. Why? From an evolutionary perspective, a curvy woman is more fertile, and men like that. On the other hand, a fat dude is slow and can't hunt, so women don't like that. That's the way it is.

 

That's really dumb.

 

I can't believe I'm engaging on this.

 

A fat dude in a hunter gatherer society would be a hell of a catch. He got fat by being the best hunter. I want the guy who can spear that many antelope. Then when winter comes around, you know who's got the blubber to see it through comfortably? Fat guy. And you, if you're sharing his bed and his massive stacks of dried mammoth.

 

Sorry! Biological imperative doesn't work in this area.

  • Like 9
pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Of course I told them off but I'm curious...are my thoughts justifiable

 

I don't understand why you are getting upset over someone else's standards. If you don't want to date someone who isn't in shape, don't. If someone you deem "below" you in looks requires someone you deem "above" you, just laugh and move on.

 

It's not worth getting emotionally invested in.

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nescafe1982 Established Member

nescafe1982

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I suppose everyone is entitled to their quirky standards. Lord knows I've met lots of heavy-set men who don't dress well but expect their women to be coifed and gorgeous with a yoga butt.

 

...and yeah, sometimes they even get one.

 

My date voicing a double-standard like that would bug me too, though. Especially since I'm also a gym rat.

  • Like 1
crederer Established Member

crederer

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I dunno they're probably the same girls that complain that they can't find a good guy. Cause they hold their partner to a higher standard than they hold themselves.

 

But on the flip side, I'm a bit overweight and my ex was a competitive swimmer and was fit as hell. So.....I dunno different strokes for different folks I guess.

  • Like 1
dasein Established Member

dasein

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Is it possible they are telling you this as a hint because they find you attractive and know you go to the gym?

KAOJ Established Member

KAOJ

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meh. why even care? just don't date them.

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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A fat dude in a hunter gatherer society would be a hell of a catch. He got fat by being the best hunter. I want the guy who can spear that many antelope. Then when winter comes around, you know who's got the blubber to see it through comfortably? Fat guy. And you, if you're sharing his bed and his massive stacks of dried mammoth.

 

Sorry! Biological imperative doesn't work in this area.

 

Lol, A Hunter/Gatherer Society shared everything with the group. The men hunted in packs, food was scarce and hard to come by. Nobody was fat in those days...:lmao:

  • Like 1
bluegreen Established Member

bluegreen

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Same thing GOES FOR MAN nothing sadder or funnier then bear gutted bald 40 year old harping on anyone beneath number 10 ?

Some people are what you can call character from the emperor's clothes story do you know it ?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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There is a double-standard. A woman with big juicy breasts and big butt will attract more men than a man with big man-boobs and a fat ass attracting women. Why? From an evolutionary perspective, a curvy woman is more fertile, and men like that. On the other hand, a fat dude is slow and can't hunt, so women don't like that. That's the way it is.

 

This is pretty ass backwards. Fat men used to be the wealthy men of the village.

  • Like 1
D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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Same thing GOES FOR MAN nothing sadder or funnier then bear gutted bald 40 year old harping on anyone beneath number 10 ?

Some people are what you can call character from the emperor's clothes story do you know it ?

 

Yes, hypocrisy is alive and well.

 

Op- as far as you go, the best place for you to meet your type is either at your gym or through activities where athletics are revered. Try a Tough Mudder competition.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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As for the OP, I'm sure those women are perpetually single anyway. Generally people with unrealistic expectations tend to not do well in the dating world. Reminds me of my roommate in college. Was a smart guy (albeit geeky and awkward at times) and was in good shape, but he demanded that a girl look like a fitness model before he'd consider dating them. Needless to say he remained a virgin throughout college. Once he relaxed those standards post-college, he started doing well and is now happily married to a pretty cute woman, albeit not a fitness model.

  • Like 1
bluegreen Established Member

bluegreen

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Thank You : ))

Thread starter should do just what you said judging by his picture he has right to seek what he is someone healthy fit and who cares about being active as well.

Hopefully they also get personality plus all the rest but the thing is no one ever has it all so he might will have to tweak a things a bit until he gets it or does not.

 

 

 

But that's what life is no exceptions we all go trough same process

ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

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Yes, it is justifiable to call people on blatant hypocrisy. You really needed confirmation on that?

bluegreen Established Member

bluegreen

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Yes, it is justifiable to call people on blatant hypocrisy. You really needed confirmation on that?

 

 

 

Its always good to be reminded and two heads are smarter then one

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lesbihonest Member

lesbihonest

Posted
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I don't understand why you are getting upset over someone else's standards. If you don't want to date someone who isn't in shape, don't. If someone you deem "below" you in looks requires someone you deem "above" you, just laugh and move on.

 

It's not worth getting emotionally invested in.

 

I was irate because she was also giving me the "woe is me" speech on how men don't like her and she can't find a guy. Also, I don't see why a guy has to put in work to earn someone's affection while she doesn't have to do anything.

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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Phantom has a good point. Fat might give some women certain qualities that are actually attractive and we're designed to store more body fat than men. Same doesn't go for men, I dunno many women that would say check out that man's fat ass.

 

I agree that women who don't go the gym shouldn't expect a man who is always at the gym. But in this day and age, men don't even necessarily want a fit woman. They want a "skinny" woman who is surgically enhanced with other things. Women aren't really expected to have very low body fat percentage and muscular arms and legs. Based on these expectations, a naturally thin woman can easily demand a fit/muscular man.

  • Like 1
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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I was irate because she was also giving me the "woe is me" speech on how men don't like her and she can't find a guy. Also, I don't see why a guy has to put in work to earn someone's affection while she doesn't have to do anything.

So you are concerned for other guys who are not even dating her? That's so nice of you :)

  • Like 1
TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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It's fine to feel how you feel but also important to realize people know what they want in another independent of what they have to offer. It doesn't matter how much hypocrisy exists in a persons wants. It just matters whether or not they get what they want.

mesmerized Established Member

mesmerized

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females make these long lists which are impossible for guys to achieve. then along comes hot guy whos a loser and meets almost none of her criteria. she can't keep her arms off him. they marry, abusive relationship but she still wont leave.

 

Then just go become "hot" and you won't have to achieve the items on her long list lol

Els Established Member

Els

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It's entirely justifiable for you to have ANY preference you want. As it is for her.

 

Just don't date these women. Problem solved, no?

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