jesse93 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I don't know if its just me, or if theres some others that have this problem but personally its so hard for me to fall asleep after this break up maybe its just my anxiety, but it takes me at least 2 hours to fall asleep at night and i never get a full nights sleep either usually i get about 5 hours of sleep and when i wake up i have a huge amount of sadness inside me, almost makes me want to wake up crying and makes me wanna break NC. And after i'm awake theres no falling asleep because the amount of anxiety and sadness i feel inside makes it almost unbearable, so i have to get up and do something or i would just sit there and end up crying my eyes out. its so hard not breaking NC am i the only one that has trouble with sleeping? if not what do you guys do to help yourself get a good nights sleep? 1
thishatteredsymphony Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 If I may ask, how long has it been since you broke up? If this is very recent, it's difficult to regain a sense of normalcy in the initial aftermath. I lost so much sleep for the first couple weeks after my break up, so much so it was having a negative effect on my health. I promise you, it WILL get better. Believe in yourself that you will be okay. I am now almost a month and a half since the break up and while I can't say I'm truly over it, I've been sleeping a lot better. It will just take time. 2
Exitleft Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I can't sleep either. It's after 5am where I am at the moment and although I get tired it's not happening. I do wake up with anxiety at times, this week has been a really bad one. I wish I could feel rested so I could expend energy working out hard, yet this is the habit. I think eventually your body will take control and you will need to sleep. Like the poster above, it's so bad for our health and I can feel it's effects. Best of luck! 1
Author jesse93 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 If I may ask, how long has it been since you broke up? If this is very recent, it's difficult to regain a sense of normalcy in the initial aftermath. I lost so much sleep for the first couple weeks after my break up, so much so it was having a negative effect on my health. I promise you, it WILL get better. Believe in yourself that you will be okay. I am now almost a month and a half since the break up and while I can't say I'm truly over it, I've been sleeping a lot better. It will just take time. hey, i appreciate the response. It has only been 3 days out of a 4 year relationship which i guess would be a reason why i have such trouble sleeping, but i just hate going to sleep because i have nothing to distract myself so for the next hour or 2 i'm thinking about my ex and my anxiety just feeds into those thoughts. :/ i really dread going to sleep every night just because its when i have the hardest time.
jphcbpa Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 i suggest running, swimming, working out to wear yourself out and hopefully sleep better. you might have to exercise before and after work. do what you have to do to physically get worn down. reading, writing, mediation, therapy, laughter ect. for the mental/emotional work 1
Author jesse93 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 i suggest running, swimming, working out to wear yourself out and hopefully sleep better. you might have to exercise before and after work. do what you have to do to physically get worn down. reading, writing, mediation, therapy, laughter ect. for the mental/emotional work i appreciate the input, i plan on joining a gym by this monday and i did call a counselor for help with my depression and just so i could have someone to talk too. but in the mean time i will try and do some of the stuff you said to help me through this thanks for the advice.
eddyctv Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Melatonin, next to the vitamins in the drug store...all natural, works like a charm! 1
Sunshine87 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 hey, i appreciate the response. It has only been 3 days out of a 4 year relationship which i guess would be a reason why i have such trouble sleeping, but i just hate going to sleep because i have nothing to distract myself so for the next hour or 2 i'm thinking about my ex and my anxiety just feeds into those thoughts. :/ i really dread going to sleep every night just because its when i have the hardest time. Hey there, what you're experiencing is perfectly normal! It's only been three days. When I got out of of a fairly LTR, 3years+, for the first few weeks, I was scared to fall asleep. I feared the ache i anticipated facing. Also, I woke up much earlier with SEVERE panic attacks! I sometimes felt like I was experiencing a heart attack. Boy, I literally needed to speak to someone anytime I woke up to ease my nerves and calm me down. Thinking about what I went through makes me sad. I just want to encourage you that it does get better. 1 month later and I improved a lot. 6 the after and I'm doing great. I have not been in contact though. You need to go NC and stick with it. Disruption in sleep ( manifested in different ways) is very common following recent break ups. We've been there and we overcame it. You will too....hugs
youngnlove89 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I had this problem too. My anxiety would keep me up and it was awful. I started taking Benadryl, or you can take Melatonin. It makes me tired and I fall asleep gracefully not waking up once. Try watching a TV show before bed or read a book. Get your mind off of it. Practice deep breathing. Inhaling through your stomach, holding for 4 seconds, exhaling through your mouth. Think of your breaths as if they were waves at the ocean. It's relaxing.
jphcbpa Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Do not run from this process, avoid it or sweep it under the rug with alcohol or other distractions. Part of recovery is feeling the pain and walking through it. This is the time to build a new foundation for your future. Do not skimp on the "cement".
Author jesse93 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Hey there, what you're experiencing is perfectly normal! It's only been three days. When I got out of of a fairly LTR, 3years+, for the first few weeks, I was scared to fall asleep. I feared the ache i anticipated facing. Also, I woke up much earlier with SEVERE panic attacks! I sometimes felt like I was experiencing a heart attack. Boy, I literally needed to speak to someone anytime I woke up to ease my nerves and calm me down. Thinking about what I went through makes me sad. I just want to encourage you that it does get better. 1 month later and I improved a lot. 6 the after and I'm doing great. I have not been in contact though. You need to go NC and stick with it. Disruption in sleep ( manifested in different ways) is very common following recent break ups. We've been there and we overcame it. You will too....hugs thanks very much for your response, its nice to know that other people have had similar problems as i'm having now it gives me hope in knowing that it will be ok eventually. i'm going to try my hardest to go NC i know its the best thing for me. i just hope soon i will be able to get a solid amount of sleep because waking up on 3-5 hours of sleep really doesnt help you emotionally and mentally after a break up it brings me down even more. thank you very much for the encouragement it really helped reading this, and i'm happy that you have made it through and you're feeling better i hope it will be that way for me too..
eachcomingnight Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 You definitely don't want to become dependent, but I second the recommendation of benadryl at least for the first couple of days. Take no more than two before you go to sleep. Try to focus on anything else you can (reading, etc.) as you get tired. Then put on some relaxing music (I listened to the album "Our Endless Numbered Days" by Iron and Wine every night on my ipod - it helped to have this routine). For the first few days after my break-up I jolted awake extremely early in the morning, feeling panicked. If I felt like I might fall back asleep, I stayed in bed and read or listened to music. Other times I knew I was awake for good and watched some Netflix or surfed on LS. Just try to remind yourself that your brain is confused and trying to work things out, and try to be patient with yourself as you heal. Things will get easier.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I don't know if its just me, or if theres some others that have this problem but personally its so hard for me to fall asleep after this break up maybe its just my anxiety, but it takes me at least 2 hours to fall asleep at night and i never get a full nights sleep either usually i get about 5 hours of sleep and when i wake up i have a huge amount of sadness inside me, almost makes me want to wake up crying and makes me wanna break NC. And after i'm awake theres no falling asleep because the amount of anxiety and sadness i feel inside makes it almost unbearable, so i have to get up and do something or i would just sit there and end up crying my eyes out. its so hard not breaking NC am i the only one that has trouble with sleeping? if not what do you guys do to help yourself get a good nights sleep? All of this over a woman? Go find yourself another one and don't take it so seriously next time around and you'll have better sleep.
AllTooWell Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 i suggest running, swimming, working out to wear yourself out and hopefully sleep better. you might have to exercise before and after work. do what you have to do to physically get worn down. reading, writing, mediation, therapy, laughter ect. for the mental/emotional work SERIOUSLY do this. Even if you don't have a gym membership that is no excuse. Do you have legs? Use them. At the time you want to go to sleep, go for a run, and really push yourself. Keep going until you literally can't go any further. (Your heart gives up before your legs do. Push yourself.) Walk home, have some food, cuddle up with a book. Guarantee you'll be out like a light. Eliminate naps etc from the day as well. When I was fresh from my breakup I couldn't sleep at night, but would sleep for an hour or two during the day. Get rid of that.
Shaun-Dro Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 All of this over a woman? Go find yourself another one and don't take it so seriously next time around and you'll have better sleep. Or a man, either way, not sure of your gender.
Author jesse93 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Or a man, either way, not sure of your gender. i'm a man, and i understand your point that you're trying to make but it's easier said than done for me, i'm not someone who could go out and have a lady in my arms today i'm lacking confidence and it makes it harder for me to be able to find someone also i have a bit of social anxiety which makes it harder to talk to girls or people in general, i'm not worried about a new girl anyway to be honest after being heart broken i don't feel like i should be in another relationship for a while the pain is too much for me at this time in my life. as to the other responses you're right i am going to try and go for a jog tonight and push myself as hard as i can, i also called this counselor back who i'm planning on seeing next friday (not necessarily for the relationship but just life in general like anxiety, depression, social anxiety) and i think that will help me get back on my feet and truly get my life started. I might try and take something to help me sleep, I want to try and beat this without the use of sleeping pills because i feel like i can do it and if it ends up getting to hard for me i will just take some benadryl like you said.
HopelessRomantick Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Jesse, you are certainly not alone [obviously based on other comments]. It was one year since she left me on 7/22 and although my sleep habits are back to normal for the most part, I will tell you this: Last year when it happened I nearly lost my job, couldn't get out of bed, couldn't sleep barely ate, missed many days of work and when I was there, I was not productive at all. It was an extremely painful time. It gets better though, but I am sorry to say, it will get worse or stay this way before it gets better. But you must maintain NC as painful as it is, it is for the best. Trust us when we tell you to maintain NC, it's worth it. All you have to do now is remember to eat, drink, shower, sleep, repeat and get out with friends, gym, etc. Just keep busy. The busier you are the more distracted you'll be and the more tired you'll become. Oh and come here often. Post, comment, like, etc. LS.org helped me a great deal and it still does as I hit bumps here and there. 1
Author jesse93 Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Jesse, you are certainly not alone [obviously based on other comments]. It was one year since she left me on 7/22 and although my sleep habits are back to normal for the most part, I will tell you this: Last year when it happened I nearly lost my job, couldn't get out of bed, couldn't sleep barely ate, missed many days of work and when I was there, I was not productive at all. It was an extremely painful time. It gets better though, but I am sorry to say, it will get worse or stay this way before it gets better. But you must maintain NC as painful as it is, it is for the best. Trust us when we tell you to maintain NC, it's worth it. All you have to do now is remember to eat, drink, shower, sleep, repeat and get out with friends, gym, etc. Just keep busy. The busier you are the more distracted you'll be and the more tired you'll become. Oh and come here often. Post, comment, like, etc. LS.org helped me a great deal and it still does as I hit bumps here and there. Thank you for the support I really appreciate it, I've come to love this site already, its nice to read peoples stories and hear about their hard times and try to give your advice to them, and it really does help me to know you guys and girls care enough to share your input with me and other people who are having tough times with breakups. I'm glad you're doing good with your life now and have things back on track for yourself good for you man. I'm trying to force myself to be motivated to do stuff that will distract me, a friend wants to give me a call to see how i'm doing i really don't want to but i force myself to because as much as i want to sit here and drown in my own sadness it does feel good to have someone to talk to to keep your mind off of it for the time being. it's really hard and i don't expect it to be easy anytime soon and I am going to try to keep NC as much as i can. before i came to this site i didn't even know of the term "no contact" i thought it was ok to be friends with a girl you've just broken up with but it seems like NC is the best way to go so i'm going to try my hardest Thanks again to all you who take the time to respond to me, it really means a lot to me, i'm so happy i found this site
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