I need help to cheer up my girlfriend, her parents broke up and it seems i cant help,

[tanglewoodche]

Hey there i am desperate for help and this is the frist place i seen , i really need some advice on my girlfriend, ya see my girlfriend's parents broke up last week and she's taking it really bad, this is the the only relationship u have been in that has lasted this long,

 

I really wanna help but i know i cant say too much or she will like get totally annoyed and sick of hearing my advice, i really really need some help cos i thought hey i can just be there to listen and stuff but it hurts her and im getting stressed because of it now

 

everytime i say somthing to reasurre her i always apologise cos im crap at helping and this annoys her because she says i apologise when i dont need to, another thing is i find its me alwats trying to start cnversation and its understandable cos she';s been through confusing stuff but i just need to know how to help and keep this relationship , it means so much

[Defcon]

everytime i say somthing to reasurre her i always apologise cos im crap at helping and this annoys her because she says i apologise when i dont need to

She probly feels like you are tring to 'baby' her. Try being a little more confident in what you say.

 

Try just sittin back and let her deal with it while subconciously reassuring her you are there for advice and mental reassurence.

 

My guess is you are nervous around her and you dont want to **** up. Most women like a person who is very confident with himself. But who is also caring. This might seem really hard to understand right now, but later on you will understand.

[guest]

I was in your situation once. You can't solve her problems or feelings, only she can with time and perhaps some therapy. I recommend you tell her that how much you care and tell/show her that you are there for her if she needs to talk. My suggestion is not to offer advice, nobody wants to her advice unless it is asked for.

 

First show her that you care and support her and she make sure sees that. Then I think you should try not to talk about the crap in her life but try to lighten up the mood. Ask yourself what makes you more upset? when someone continously drags up a problem in your life or when someone trys to bring joy to your life when it is crap (provided she knows that you are concerned, if you don't show her how much you care first you are just going to look like a jerk).

 

Good luck

[tanglewoodche]

i kinda think that might be one reason cause i always been a really shy guy but no reason to be i suppose so i will definately try to be more confident but still not sure on what really nice thing would be good to do for her > any good ideas? baring in mind she cant stand being taken out for meals or given many presents

[Defcon]

Dont give her anything if she dosent want it. Just be there for her. Im sure thats what she wants.