Renee2 Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. Basically he is a good, caring human being. He's treated me better than anyone ever has and has given to me what I've never had before. He has good morals and his standards are very similar to my own, but some things are OFF. Here's the problem..."over the last few months he has changed" and some of his behavior has been disrespectful towards me and our relationship. I can tolerate bad habits, but negative behavior is another thing. The negative behavior comes and goes and when I bring it to his attention he makes an appropriate change. Then something new comes up, such as he stood me up this past weekend. No call. NOTHING!!! This was very unusual for him, but a new negative behavior to deal with. We had definite plans. It seems that one issue gets solved and another comes up. This is some of the other things he's done: was on a dating site with his picture and profile as single {he took it off but only because I found out and confronted him} has become very self-absorbed to the point I sometimes barely recognize him compulsive spending makes excuses not to have sex seems like he doesn't put much effort into "US" anymore I do love this man with all my heart and we are very good together in every way. He is the best friend I've always wanted, the lover, the confidante. He's given me understanding, support and encouragement when others have turned their backs on me. Now I'm torn between staying in the relationship and dealing with an on-going negative behavior pattern or calling it quits. He admits he is suffering from depression. I can understand this and will offer my support in every way, but some of his behavior I cannot use depression as an excuse. I feel if I call it quits I may be sabotaging the best relationship I've ever had. Relationships have to evolve and people grow together. If I stay in the relationship I feel I am going against my standards by letting him treat me less than I deserve in some areas such as standing me up. He isn't a total ass LOL and there is so much good about him it's hard to think about letting him go, but the negative issues are ones that are ripping me to shreds because I cannot comprehend someone doing certain things if they love and respect you. My boyfriend is going through a lot and his emotions are crossing over to me, but still that doesn't explain some of his behavior. My boyfriend has the knowledge of the rights and wrongs in a relationship. He isn't in the dark. We have long discussions about relationships, etc. and this man is very different than most. He KNOWS, but the problem is not putting his knowledge into practice. So this comes down to "choice" in his behavior. Any input will be greatly appreciated...
DJ_Dork Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 That one thing with him standing you up this past weekend with no calls is a huge red flag especially considering you've been with your boyfriend for over a year. HUGE RED FLAG. Sabotaging the best relationship you've had? Not so, it seems like he is selectively sabotaging it. You better get him to answer about what he did on that weekend.
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