DonnyPinterCA Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Hello--I need a second opinion here. I have recently started lightly dating a girl. We had met each other at a mutual friends gathering a while ago but didn't hit it off until I saw her in a bar about a month after this. We were together this whole night. I got her number and we began to text. We set dinners up for the next week and we have been going on multiple dates for about a month now. So on one of the dates, I took her to an event where a bunch of my friends were at. One of my buddies there, who I consider my best friend, met the girl I'm dating and I was happy to introduce her to him and the rest of my buddies. So about a week passes and the girl I'm dating and I go to a bar one night (with her friend as well) and my best friend is there too. I had to leave early becuase I had to be up early the next morning, so when I left it was the girl I was dating and her friend, as well as my best friend. It turns out that my best friend got her number (the girl I'm dating), and was texting her that night to make sure she got home safely. I learned this through the girl I'm seeing who told me he had done it. I think he has still been texting her after this night. Lately, I've noticed through different online social media sites that he's been actively adding her and commenting/liking her stuff. I also believe he is still texting her, and I think asking her to lunch (he recently friended her friends who he's never met before that I know), but I have not asked either as I am rather disappointed. To me it seems like he is actively pursuing this girl. I am not intimidated by him at all, but I just feel really disappointed in him because we have been friends for a while and I feel a best friend shouldn't do this. Am I being too sensitive or does this seem shady of him? To be honest, I don't care about this new girl as much as I do about the friendship I have with my best friend. I just feel that a best friend should never do this. What do you guys think? Edited July 24, 2013 by DonnyPinterCA
Philosoraptor Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Does seem like he's pursuing her, but you have no idea what happened after you left that night. They may have really hit it off after you left. Either way, not cool for him to puruse someone you're dating.
white Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 What do I think? I think the guys an *******. No bones about it. I had a very old friend who behaved in a similar fashion whenever he would meet my lady friends, for years, although it never got him anywhere. In the end I told him what was up and ceased to have anything to do with him. Quite frankly I'd have relished an excuse to push his nose out the back of his head. I have zero interest in my friends partners. When they move in together or get married or have kids I might get to know them better on social occasions. Until then I keep a distance. That's as it should be. This guy isn't "being friendly". He's horning in on your romantic interest, utilising his relationship with you to get closer to her. He needs a boot up his ass.
jphcbpa Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 he is not a friend. how can you care more about this friendship than the girl, when he cares more about the girl than your "friendship"?
Author DonnyPinterCA Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 I agree with all you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't alone in my opinion. It's sad to me. I feel like I cannot trust him. The thing is, as I've been dating this girl longer, I am feeling myself losing interest, so I am not really even bothered about the fact of losing her, it's more that my friend would pursue a girl I have been taking on dates. I am just disappointed.
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