Sleeping dogs.

[Betterthanthis13]

^^^^ that's perfect! That letter should be in a sticky thread.

[affairaddict]

It's a good letter, but no way would she accept just that! She will want to know every detail and what if she wants to read messages ?

 

As I said I'm having cancer treatment and it really is not the right time to get involved in drama or arguments.. It just isn't.

I'm sorry people can't understand that but if I cannot guarantee my safety and health it's probable I won't be writing the letter.

 

 

If I wasn't sick I would tell.

Thanks for all your advice I may revisit at some point if I am In a better place.

[BetrayedH]

She probably will want details and to read messages. If you aren't prepared to be fully honest with her, don't bother.

 

Good luck with your treatments. I hope you get to a better place.

[turnera]

Engaged man marrying next year. Had over a year EA intense, turned PA, not full sex but almost. meets phone calls, 9000 messages on facebook back and fourth, Tried NC, last time lasted 2 months, asked him not to come back, he did.

Say what?

 

You seriously think that getting a man who cheats on TWO WOMEN is worth having?

 

What's wrong with your self esteem that you think that's all you're worth, taking table scraps?

 

I'm glad you're moving on, but you really need to think hard about this, how you could keep letting him come back and be his cake. So you don't fall into the same trap again.

 

And good luck with your treatment.

Edited July 25, 2013 by turnera

[Snowflower]

It's a good letter, but no way would she accept just that! She will want to know every detail and what if she wants to read messages ?

 

As I said I'm having cancer treatment and it really is not the right time to get involved in drama or arguments.. It just isn't.

I'm sorry people can't understand that but if I cannot guarantee my safety and health it's probable I won't be writing the letter.

 

 

If I wasn't sick I would tell.

Thanks for all your advice I may revisit at some point if I am In a better place.

 

But you don't know that she will want every detail!

 

She may even seemingly ignore your letter. That doesn't mean she isn't doing something about the information you have disclosed. It's just that she may not contact you about it.

 

OTOH, you're right, she may also have additional questions for you in response to your letter (or however you tell her). In this case, I would tell her in advance that she gets one shot/chance to ask you questions or see text messages that were sent, etc. She can think about what she wants to know and then ask you during one phone call/meeting/email (however you decide to do it). After that, there is to be no further contact between you and her.

 

But like the other poster said earlier, there is no way to know what will happen when you tell her and you can't predict this.

 

Concentrate only on letting her know--not what will potentially happen afterward--and then go on with your life, your treatments and your healing.