autumn2 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Hello Internet! I've been dating this lovely girl for just over 2 months now. I really like her, but there are a few things I'm unsure about. Any time we've gone out together, I've been the one to organise it... That's ok, as I know that as the man, I am to lead the relationship. But I've noticed recently that she talks about wanting to do things, but with her friends. For example; "The xyz film looks really good, my friends and I will probably go and see it this week" Or I may be talking about something I've been wanting to go to for a long time and she replies with "oh yeah, my friends and I have been meaning to go there but we haven't done it yet" I feel as though any time I bring up something that we could possibly do, she says anything else except what I'm expecting/looking for which is "That sounds cool, we should try that sometime" Although she's always willing to do something with me, she doesn't express any interest in suggesting an idea or inviting me to do something with her. Another thing is that we are in a university class together. On our first day back yesterday after holidays, she arrived late and joined another table (there are a number of large circular desks that students sit around). That was fine. But during the class break, when she came and said hi etc, I told her to come and join our group before our groups are finalized for the semester. But she just outright said 'No', with no explanation. I told her (via text) how her saying 'No' upset me a little the next day, as she had to go soon after the class had finished, and she apologized and said that she had a bad experience at school where her friends and her used to get into arguments and it almost ruined their friendships. So she makes points not to join groups with friends in. I told her that I think we'd work great together, and that I didn't think we'd fight (and that if I had thought we would fight while working together, I probably wouldn't be dating her!). I was surprised at this, because I'm not one to argue or fight (and we haven't done these things at all whilst dating), but our groups are now set and it looks like that's how it will be for this sem. I also told her today, that if there were any other reasons, such as if she didn't think she could see us entering into a relationship and that's why she didn't say 'yes', to just tell me. As I'd rather she just be honest about it, there's no point either of us stringing along. What do you think? I get the impression she's interested in me, but not as interested as I am in her? I feel as though I'm still having to chase her to get her to like me. How do you suggest I go about this? I am supposing I just tell her how I'm feeling. I've noticed that she also doesn't tend to share her feelings, and she doesn't quite know what to say or how to respond when I share mine. No doubt its something she can learn how to do, but for right now while we're dating, I'm just not entirely sure (as she is the first girl I've had a serious interest in) how to do this right.
Philosoraptor Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Sounds like you're more invested than she is. If you're not comfortable with her lack of effort than you need to talk to her about it, or end things and start seeing someone else.
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