Author amkxoxo Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 He had a hard time keeping things pg when we were at school a month ago to meet up. He was restraining himself ....platonic???
TaraMaiden Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 So, how's the No Contact thing going, exactly? or are you just going to keep up with the re-hashing crud until you hit your 25th anniversary of nothing-doing?
flitzanu Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 He had a hard time keeping things pg when we were at school a month ago to meet up. He was restraining himself ....platonic??? if it wasn't platonic you'd be dating.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 I mean, at what point will you stop rehashing everything and being in denial and accept that he's just not into you? And yes, he could see you platonically and be flirty. He could also see you as a friend with benefits because you are an extremely easy mark. What he does not see you as is a serious romantic option. And no amount of mental gymnastics and rehashing will change that, nor will waiting around like a lost puppy.
Author amkxoxo Posted August 4, 2013 Author Posted August 4, 2013 He told me he saw me in a romantic way...he said he didn't until one night when we were dating. We had been flirting for a while, then he surprised me and showed up at a dance event I was performing at. We hung out all night and then I asked him to kiss me. We were headed in that direction, but he said it took him off guard and he liked it a lot. Then he said that he liked me. One day I was mad at him and I called him over to talk about it, he ran over because he thought I was going to yell at him, but instead I grabbed him and just hugged him and was just happy to see him. He said that at that moment he realized he liked me so much more than he thought he ever could. When we talked about our future he said he liked me so much more than he thought he was going to, and "I didn't think I was going to like you this much, I like you way more than I ever thought. I ended up liking you so so much. " He didn't think he was going to fall so hard. He kept repeating it like a mantra. I think he's scared.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 He told me he saw me in a romantic way...he said he didn't until one night when we were dating. We had been flirting for a while, then he surprised me and showed up at a dance event I was performing at. We hung out all night and then I asked him to kiss me. We were headed in that direction, but he said it took him off guard and he liked it a lot. Then he said that he liked me. One day I was mad at him and I called him over to talk about it, he ran over because he thought I was going to yell at him, but instead I grabbed him and just hugged him and was just happy to see him. He said that at that moment he realized he liked me so much more than he thought he ever could. When we talked about our future he said he liked me so much more than he thought he was going to, and "I didn't think I was going to like you this much, I like you way more than I ever thought. I ended up liking you so so much. " He didn't think he was going to fall so hard. He kept repeating it like a mantra. I think he's scared. All of that is past tense. It doesn't matter. STOP REHASHING AND OBSESSING!
flitzanu Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 also, just for the record, i do kiss my female platonic friends, and they sleep in bed with me too, and share all vocal sentiments that a couple would share in a relationship. so yeah, platonic friends can do those things. and repeating all these things that DID HAPPEN IN THE PAST has nothing to do with the things happening right now. again, if he's so desperately in love with you, why aren't you dating? seems like that's what people would be doing if they are so in love.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 also, just for the record, i do kiss my female platonic friends, and they sleep in bed with me too, and share all vocal sentiments that a couple would share in a relationship. so yeah, platonic friends can do those things. and repeating all these things that DID HAPPEN IN THE PAST has nothing to do with the things happening right now. again, if he's so desperately in love with you, why aren't you dating? seems like that's what people would be doing if they are so in love. Not only are they dating, but he keeps telling her about his other ex. She's delusionally blind right now. 1
flitzanu Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 Not only are they dating, but he keeps telling her about his other ex. She's delusionally blind right now. oh wait that's right, "we" meaning "he" called things off, he didn't contact her for a month, she flips out, he calls a month later to gripe about how crazy his ex is. he sounds awesome.
Author amkxoxo Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 For the record I don't know what kind of games you play with your friends that are girls, but none of my guy friends have girls sleep in their beds. And I have tons of guy friends and I don't kiss them. My guy friends will sometimes crash on my couch for a night or something but nobody I know does that. My guy friends do not tell me I look hot, or cook me dinner, or tell me I'm so perfect etc etc... thats not a friend thing to do. Secondly, he didn't contact me for a month because he was extremely sick in the hospital....His condition is serious and He almost died. So it wasn't because he didn't want to, it was because he couldn't. He called to tell me that he was okay and to explain his absence. I only called him once during the month and he didn't answer so I figured he was sick and left things be until he called me. I didn't flip out, I was cool, calm, and collected. I figured there was a reason why he couldn't call and if he could, he would. I wasn't mad at him, because he doesn't owe me anything just like he doesn't owe his ex anything. I am not demanding phone calls or time from him, because we are not together. He said that he feels bad he cant give me the time I deserve and crave for a relationship, and that is a major factor in him breaking things off with me. His life and health are too hectic right now to be in a stable relationship. He has stated this. I just get confused by his mixed signals, and that fact that he thinks we could be perfect together at another time, when he's in a better place.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 His signals aren't mixed. He doesn't want to be with you. If he did, he would and nothing would stop him. The only person mixing the signals is you.
Author amkxoxo Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 I get that we aren't together. You don't agree that nuzzling my neck and telling me that "I'm perfect" etc etc is a normal thing...and not mixed signals???
Simon Phoenix Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I get that we aren't together. You don't agree that nuzzling my neck and telling me that "I'm perfect" etc etc is a normal thing...and not mixed signals??? That was before, this is now. That's what you don't get -- what happened before is null and void. All the crap you are rehashing is completely irrelevant! Stop it.
Author amkxoxo Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Ummm not long ago....he was flirting with me and telling me I was perfect just the other night on the phone...its not re hashing...it just happened.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 (edited) Ummm not long ago....he was flirting with me and telling me I was perfect just the other night on the phone...its not re hashing...it just happened. He certainly wasn't nuzzling with you. And words are cheap -- another thing you don't seem to get. Actions mean more. And his actions say that he's not that into you. I mean, what the heck are you looking for on here? Are you just going to argue until we're like "oh ok, sure. He let you go, he doesn't contact you very often, he doesn't put out the effort to be with you, he talks about his ex-girlfriend, but yes, he secretly really loves you and wants to be with you?" Do you realize how absurd you sound? Obviously not, because you've been posting the same crap for months. I mean, I just don't get it at this point. I think you just want us all to agree with you and you are going to keep talking in circles until we do. So I'll agree -- he secretly wants you and loves you and you should wait around for however many years it takes for him to act on it. Edited August 5, 2013 by Simon Phoenix 2
BC1980 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 So you are trying to analyze all of his actions, but, in the end, you are left with the same thing. . . . you are not in a relationship with this guy. I mean, from an outsider, it seems pretty clear that he wants the benefits of a relationship without an actual commitment. So if you are okay with that, go for it. But you aren't, and, frankly, most people wouldn't be. You go through an awful lot of stress for this guy. Is it worth it?
Author amkxoxo Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 I'm not totally ignoring what you have said. You are actually spot on. He tools me a similar scenario. He said " actions speak louder than words you know." He told me that whole thing about how he can't give me what I deserve and his life etc etc... he told me that when he feels more ready to be in a serious relationship ..." I will fight for you and you'll know it, because I will make it known." I'm sorry I'm just having a weak day today. I truly need to move on. I am such a great person and even one of my guy friends said that any guy would be lucky to have me as there's. If he doesn't wake up and realize it I know others who have wanted me. And I can do better than someone who gave me 70%. I want 110.
BC1980 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I get that we aren't together. You don't agree that nuzzling my neck and telling me that "I'm perfect" etc etc is a normal thing...and not mixed signals??? I think you are allowing yourself to be used, but you are working really hard to convince yourself otherwise. Even going so far as to create a thread on this website to find people who will enforce your ideas. You shouldn't have to work this hard. Just let it go.
BC1980 Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 I'm not totally ignoring what you have said. You are actually spot on. He tools me a similar scenario. He said " actions speak louder than words you know." He told me that whole thing about how he can't give me what I deserve and his life etc etc... he told me that when he feels more ready to be in a serious relationship ..." I will fight for you and you'll know it, because I will make it known." I'm sorry I'm just having a weak day today. I truly need to move on. I am such a great person and even one of my guy friends said that any guy would be lucky to have me as there's. If he doesn't wake up and realize it I know others who have wanted me. And I can do better than someone who gave me 70%. I want 110. Okay, so he flat out told you he can't give you what you need. He's a cake-eater then. And you are allowing it to happen.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Okay, so he flat out told you he can't give you what you need. He's a cake-eater then. And you are allowing it to happen. And he said that if he wanted it, he'd fight for it. He's not coming close to fighting for her. 1
flitzanu Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 For the record I don't know what kind of games you play with your friends that are girls, but none of my guy friends have girls sleep in their beds. And I have tons of guy friends and I don't kiss them. My guy friends will sometimes crash on my couch for a night or something but nobody I know does that. My guy friends do not tell me I look hot, or cook me dinner, or tell me I'm so perfect etc etc... thats not a friend thing to do. Secondly, he didn't contact me for a month because he was extremely sick in the hospital....His condition is serious and He almost died. So it wasn't because he didn't want to, it was because he couldn't. He called to tell me that he was okay and to explain his absence. I only called him once during the month and he didn't answer so I figured he was sick and left things be until he called me. I didn't flip out, I was cool, calm, and collected. I figured there was a reason why he couldn't call and if he could, he would. I wasn't mad at him, because he doesn't owe me anything just like he doesn't owe his ex anything. I am not demanding phone calls or time from him, because we are not together. He said that he feels bad he cant give me the time I deserve and crave for a relationship, and that is a major factor in him breaking things off with me. His life and health are too hectic right now to be in a stable relationship. He has stated this. I just get confused by his mixed signals, and that fact that he thinks we could be perfect together at another time, when he's in a better place. that's not playing games with girls, that's being an adult and being able to show affection in a non-sexual way with people that i'm close to, and it goes both ways. these girls don't want to date me, and i don't want to date them...males and females can in fact have affectionate platonic relationships. the point is in understanding that those actions are not to initiate romantic sexual encounters, it's simply expressing emotion and closeness. can you not hug a male friend, or kiss a male on the cheek, or tell him you love him and it not be because you're just friends?
Author amkxoxo Posted August 5, 2013 Author Posted August 5, 2013 Yes i hug my guy friends and once in a while kiss them on the cheek. But like I said they don't sleep in my bed. They don't make me romantic dinner and they don't pull me away from a party into the kitchen for a hot make out session against the refrigerator. Not. A. Platonic. Relationship . I have fun with my guy friends but we are not romantic what so ever with each other. I don't sit and rub my guy friends knee because I dont like them...that's platonic. We get together have drinks and laugh or go to the movies in a big group and just have a good time. We go to the mall...again in a group and just have fun. I just slept over a guy friends of mines apartment...I slept in the living room on the couch and he in his room. We hung out in his bedroom on his computer and had some drinks and laughs. That was it. Like I don't cuddle with my guys friends on a couch. We hug hello and goodbye...that's a normal guy friend relationship. We go to the beach, movies, ice skating etc... idk he always used to say that "there are so many things I want to try with you." Because I'm inexperienced sexually. Yeah cause all my guy friends want to do that.
Minneloa Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 No one is arguing that you did not have a romantic relationship with this man at one time. However, and this is the key issue, this relationship is the past. What everyone is telling you repeatedly on your threads is that you need to face your current reality. I'm sorry. I know it hurts. But, from what have posted, you are simply wasting your precious time obsessing over a relationship that is over.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Yes i hug my guy friends and once in a while kiss them on the cheek. But like I said they don't sleep in my bed. They don't make me romantic dinner and they don't pull me away from a party into the kitchen for a hot make out session against the refrigerator. Not. A. Platonic. Relationship . I have fun with my guy friends but we are not romantic what so ever with each other. I don't sit and rub my guy friends knee because I dont like them...that's platonic. We get together have drinks and laugh or go to the movies in a big group and just have a good time. We go to the mall...again in a group and just have fun. I just slept over a guy friends of mines apartment...I slept in the living room on the couch and he in his room. We hung out in his bedroom on his computer and had some drinks and laughs. That was it. Like I don't cuddle with my guys friends on a couch. We hug hello and goodbye...that's a normal guy friend relationship. We go to the beach, movies, ice skating etc... idk he always used to say that "there are so many things I want to try with you." Because I'm inexperienced sexually. Yeah cause all my guy friends want to do that. You really can't help yourself can you?
TaraMaiden Posted August 5, 2013 Posted August 5, 2013 Guys.....Guys? Give up. She has "Unrequited Love-Doormat" written all over this. She is going to go on, and on, interminably re-hashing for 25 years, then be sitting, celebrating all on her own, in some down-town Cafe, about her unrequited lover and his girlfriend.... Leave it. 1
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