drewdude Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Hey LS. I have been seeing a girl for a little over a month now, at her core she is really awesome and I have loads and loads in common with her more than any other girl I've dated. She shows me affection and tells me im like the perfect guy. Problem is, she really doesn't have a "home" so to speak(she ran away from abusive parents in her early teens, shes in her mid 20s now) and has had a past drug addiction but shes been clean for a few years. She also has a 1 year old daughter that she doesn't have custody of and only gets to see her a few times a week. When we hang out its usually at a friends shes staying at for a little while. Then its onto another friend she knows in the area. The thing is with me, before I decide I want to be exclusive to this girl, I don't want to have to be worrying where is she/if shes safe for the night. She says shes been trying to get some things in her life together but I have not really seen progress. I like her but really don't know what to do at this point. Anyone ever been in this situation before? Edited July 24, 2013 by drewdude
CptSaveAho Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Run for the hills like you said, you havent seen progress do not date these type of people... do not be me (my screen name) 2
TouchedByViolet Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 You should not judge people on past events they could not control. This is often a poor indicator of themselves anyway. However, her current actions and decisions are definitely worth assessing. If she isn't taking steps in the positive direction then you are probably just getting yourself into trouble.
Author drewdude Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 You should not judge people on past events they could not control. This is often a poor indicator of themselves anyway. However, her current actions and decisions are definitely worth assessing. If she isn't taking steps in the positive direction then you are probably just getting yourself into trouble. Yeah It's not so much her past, I can see past that. Just the current state of things bother me a bit and I just hate always having to ask "where are you" everytime she wants to hang out.
CptSaveAho Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 You should not judge people on past events they could not control. This is often a poor indicator of themselves anyway. No offense, most people don't break this cycle... and its a GREAT indicator of themselves What does she have going for her 1) no place to live 2) a kid who she doesnt have custody of 3) still hangs out with losers 4) daddy issues 5) drug issues (which she will probably relapse into, if shes not already) Yup.... i wonder how many rational sane people would date this person 1
ascendotum Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 No offense, most people don't break this cycle... and its a GREAT indicator of themselves What does she have going for her 1) no place to live 2) a kid who she doesnt have custody of 3) still hangs out with losers 4) daddy issues 5) drug issues (which she will probably relapse into, if shes not already) Yup.... i wonder how many rational sane people would date this person +1 but a pretty face, sex and the need to save someone can make people go into relationships that seemed like a good idea at the time. A mother that loses custody of her child doesn't exactly say great things about her, and this was not during her junkie years. You would like to see her getting her shyte back together and having her child back in her life at least with P/T custody. I'm guessing if she is couch surfing she likely has not got a stable job. All that wont not make her loving gf though, but emotional stable and not an emotional drain, well that's another matter. You obviously really like her, but its not a good idea getting too gaga over this shambolic lifestyle girl being your ideal gf and move in together and you help support her and get her life back on track. How long has her past relationships lasted.. probably not too long. If you have other prospects follow them up.
Author drewdude Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 +1 but a pretty face, sex and the need to save someone can make people go into relationships that seemed like a good idea at the time. A mother that loses custody of her child doesn't exactly say great things about her, and this was not during her junkie years. You would like to see her getting her shyte back together and having her child back in her life at least with P/T custody. I'm guessing if she is couch surfing she likely has not got a stable job. All that wont not make her loving gf though, but emotional stable and not an emotional drain, well that's another matter. You obviously really like her, but its not a good idea getting too gaga over this shambolic lifestyle girl being your ideal gf and move in together and you help support her and get her life back on track. How long has her past relationships lasted.. probably not too long. If you have other prospects follow them up. The kids dad neither has custody...And hes just a straight out scumbag but not in the kids life. Her longest relationship was 2 years. But yeah, its a difficult situation. I will be honest though, as much as I like her. There is no way I can/want to be exclusive with a girl who doesn't have a place to call home. Shes been telling me shes trying to move in with a good friend of hers and work on things for the better. I've been hanging out with her a lil over a month but just haven't seen anything yet.
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