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How to deal with being used?


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Posted

About three months ago, I met this amazing guy. Or at least I thought I did.. We exchanged numbers and all that and eventually started hanging out and got together after a month and a half and after I broke up with the guy I was dating at the time. It seemed that when we were together, all he wanted was sex. That should've been my first alarm.. Especially when he got mad that I said no. But he changed a little and I got more and more comfortable around him. We planned our future together, named our kids, everything. He told me he wanted me to have his child and be his wife once I was out of school. We have a 5 year age difference, which never bothered me. I love older men but I felt that he expected a lot from me. Anyway.. A few days ago he stayed with me for two days. In those two days, we had sex 4 times. This was my first time having sex for three years, and the second guy I've ever been with. He knew this and promised he wouldn't leave, which was my biggest fear. We used protection three out of the four times. I regret the time we didn't. But, two days after he left, he stopped texting me, calling me, wouldn't return anything I sent him. Nothing. Then told his coworker that we weren't together.. My question is, what do I do? How do I cope and get over the first guy I've trusted in three years..?

Posted

I know one thing you could do... You'll need a couple friends, some ski masks, an unmarked van and a few tubes socks stuffed with oranges...

 

I wish I had some really great advice to give you but I don't. Not all guys are like that, but a lot of them are. I know women who are like that too, or at least pretending to be...

 

The best thing I can think of would be to forget about him, which will take time (focus on school, family, friends, etc.), but not to forget the lessons you learned, if that's possible.

 

If a committed monogamous loving relationship is what makes you tick, then hold out for that.

 

Maybe he would have gotten frustrated and given up if you had waited a little longer. You might have had some regrets about what could (not really ever) have been but you wouldn't have to worry about any emotional or physical issues that can come from having sex with someone who doesn't respect you.

 

Don't become like him. Find someone like you.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you.

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Posted

To the person that replied, thank you so much. You're right, he probably would've given up if I would've made him late. But, lesson learned and what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. I'll heal in time. Even though that oranges in a sock thing may help a little. ;) but thanks again!

Posted

Shake it off and move on. Mongrels like this guy aren't worth your time or consternation.. You are a beautiful, interesting woman worthy of far more than this parasite gave you.

 

It sucks, and you'll need some time, but you'll bounce back :)

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