youngbutoldsoul Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I came across my ex's profile on a dating app. We have been in NC for a week...after a few months LC since the BU. Would it be a bad idea to make my own profile with the intention that he'd come across it? Somehow it'd pique his interest? I want to portray a better life, post the best photos of myself, and show off my better life. Would that make him jealous that I might talk to other guys and try to get me back?Could this be an indirect way to catch his eye?
Zahara Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 How sad. If you have to go this route to sell yourself, I would suggest you work on finding value in yourself. 3
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 How sad. If you have to go this route to sell yourself, I would suggest you work on finding value in yourself. I rejected his offer to be friends. I don't know how else I can show him I'm a great catch other than indirectly doing so.
Echo000 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 if he doesnt realize that you are a great catch, then he is not worth pursuing. he has rejected you. in effect, told you directly that he doesnt want you enough to pursue YOU. it sucks, thats an ego stinger, but also a clear sign that you should move on, stop giving a fu** what he thinks, and find someone who would go to the end of the world to be with you. 1
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 if he doesnt realize that you are a great catch, then he is not worth pursuing. he has rejected you. in effect, told you directly that he doesnt want you enough to pursue YOU. it sucks, thats an ego stinger, but also a clear sign that you should move on, stop giving a fu** what he thinks, and find someone who would go to the end of the world to be with you. I wish things were that easy. Due to circumstances, I had depression while we dated and deprived him of the happiness and love he deserved for several months (we had dated two years and before that everything was great). I feel like the last impression he had of me wasn't a fair portrait of me. That's why I felt motivated to "put myself out there" so he could see I deserve to share my happy and healthy life with him. :/
Zahara Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Go back and read your threads. You shouldn't be destroying this happy healthy life you have by trying to get back with someone that disrespected you so much.
aloneinaz Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I agree with what everyone is saying here. You had a rough patch (depression) and clearly he didn't stick it out through it with you. He's now told you he doesn't want you in his life anymore. I think you should join a dating site to meet your next great relationship, not to try and get a reaction out of him.
Misfortune Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I say go for it, nothing to lose right? The difference between an ex and someone new is that you already know what the ex has to offer. You can do w/e you like but as long as he knows its you, whether or not he chooses to interact with you will be based on the pros and con of who he knew/knows you to be. Whenever you have the thought to do something to "win" him back, just think about whether he'll see it as a pro or a con.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I say go for it, nothing to lose right? The difference between an ex and someone new is that you already know what the ex has to offer. You can do w/e you like but as long as he knows its you, whether or not he chooses to interact with you will be based on the pros and con of who he knew/knows you to be. Whenever you have the thought to do something to "win" him back, just think about whether he'll see it as a pro or a con. She shouldn't be doing anything with him in mind. She needs to improve for herself, not for him. I'm sorry, this is just not very good advice.
Zahara Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I say go for it, nothing to lose right? The difference between an ex and someone new is that you already know what the ex has to offer. You can do w/e you like but as long as he knows its you, whether or not he chooses to interact with you will be based on the pros and con of who he knew/knows you to be. Whenever you have the thought to do something to "win" him back, just think about whether he'll see it as a pro or a con. Read the OP's history before you advise.
Misfortune Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Obviously what she's thinking of doing isn't a good idea. Obviously she needs to do all those positive things, she has to fail/succeed to learn. She asked and i gave my take. Sorry my view doesn't agree with yours. Ultimately, It's her decision. What detail in her history with him do I absolutely need to know, to give her my opinion on what she's asking? Majority rules, no? What are the odds of her taking the advice of the only person that doesn't share the same opinion as the rest of the thread? Edited July 24, 2013 by Misfortune
NiceFails Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I wish things were that easy. Due to circumstances, I had depression while we dated and deprived him of the happiness and love he deserved for several months (we had dated two years and before that everything was great). I feel like the last impression he had of me wasn't a fair portrait of me. That's why I felt motivated to "put myself out there" so he could see I deserve to share my happy and healthy life with him. :/ On a side note, I left my girlfriend due to how cold she was and her depression problems (After trying everything to be out with her again). So doing this will only show how unfair and mean you are and a spiteful person. (I kinda expect my ex to do so too). That's immature.
Author youngbutoldsoul Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 On a side note, I left my girlfriend due to how cold she was and her depression problems (After trying everything to be out with her again). So doing this will only show how unfair and mean you are and a spiteful person. (I kinda expect my ex to do so too). That's immature. Since you had a similar experience, what would it take for you to reconsider dating your ex again? If she truly loved you but you aren't into her as much anymore, would you take the chance to rebuild things with her and reinvent happiness again?
Echo000 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Since you had a similar experience, what would it take for you to reconsider dating your ex again? If she truly loved you but you aren't into her as much anymore, would you take the chance to rebuild things with her and reinvent happiness again? Love is not this complicated. At the end of the day, despite the difficulties, if you love someone you dont just let them go. He let you go. You need to MOVE ON. With all due respect, you seem really desperate. Oh and btw- who cares what final impression you left? He didnt want to stick around to see you at your best, so as hard as it is, you need to move on. 1
summermemories Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Love is not this complicated. At the end of the day, despite the difficulties, if you love someone you dont just let them go. He let you go. You need to MOVE ON. With all due respect, you seem really desperate. Oh and btw- who cares what final impression you left? He didnt want to stick around to see you at your best, so as hard as it is, you need to move on. Thank you, I am grateful to hear you say it as it is. I really am desperate. I identified so strongly with being his partner and our future we were working towards so it's so natural for me to wonder what variables I can change or work on to attract him back.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Thank you, I am grateful to hear you say it as it is. I really am desperate. I identified so strongly with being his partner and our future we were working towards so it's so natural for me to wonder what variables I can change or work on to attract him back. Eff him....Dont change for him..Be yourself for someone else..Or just for yourself.. TFY
Talulah Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 He won't be jealous. Honestly, everyone gets desperate, you sound really heartbroken to me. It's not worth it. Half of the people on this website are going to give you the 'hard-cold enlightened truth' version and it's only going to make you more sad. Don't let others bash you, you are in a very fragile place right now and need to really take care of yourself. I know exactly how you are feeling. I am so sorry, right now you need lots of self-love. Get off the dating site, block him, and spend time on yourself, that's the best attack you can do. Cyber hugs:bunny:
summermemories Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 He won't be jealous. Honestly, everyone gets desperate, you sound really heartbroken to me. It's not worth it. Half of the people on this website are going to give you the 'hard-cold enlightened truth' version and it's only going to make you more sad. Don't let others bash you, you are in a very fragile place right now and need to really take care of yourself. I know exactly how you are feeling. I am so sorry, right now you need lots of self-love. Get off the dating site, block him, and spend time on yourself, that's the best attack you can do. Cyber hugs:bunny: I really needed to hear that (not sarcastic). I think I am unable to see the reality that no matter how much more beautiful, strong, and amazing I become....through all this NC and time, he still won't want me. It's sad how love works that way....how he can seemingly love me like some heavenly blessing to letting me go regardless of whether I live or die....hurt or happy....from someone he wanted to marry to just a stranger. I can't believe these two years led to this outcome.
Talulah Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I really needed to hear that (not sarcastic). I think I am unable to see the reality that no matter how much more beautiful, strong, and amazing I become....through all this NC and time, he still won't want me. It's sad how love works that way....how he can seemingly love me like some heavenly blessing to letting me go regardless of whether I live or die....hurt or happy....from someone he wanted to marry to just a stranger. I can't believe these two years led to this outcome. Going through the same right now...although my relationship wasn't that long. That's how it happens for some people.
summermemories Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Going through the same right now...although my relationship wasn't that long. That's how it happens for some people. Unfortunately, all we can control is ourselves. I wish you lots of love and happiness coming your way. Stay strong! 1
Talulah Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Unfortunately, all we can control is ourselves. I wish you lots of love and happiness coming your way. Stay strong! Thank you! and I hope that you heal too ^^
Echo000 Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I really needed to hear that (not sarcastic). I think I am unable to see the reality that no matter how much more beautiful, strong, and amazing I become....through all this NC and time, he still won't want me. It's sad how love works that way....how he can seemingly love me like some heavenly blessing to letting me go regardless of whether I live or die....hurt or happy....from someone he wanted to marry to just a stranger. I can't believe these two years led to this outcome. You say it beautifully. Thats how so many people on here feel. Thats exactly how i feel as well. At least for me, one of the hardest things about all this is all the memories of the person saying how much they loved you, how they couldnt imagine life without you, how you mean the absolute world to them, to getting here. to a place where they walk away and are gone forever. just like that.
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