xMM broke no contact!

[BrookeM]

AND I IGNORED HIM!!! :laugh:

 

Today I bought a new car. A few hours after I brought my new baby home, I receive a text from an unfamiliar number. I finally realized it was his work cell I forgot to block! It says, "I see you have a new SUV it looks really nice." (For those of you who don't know, he lives a few streets away...I have been house hunting ever since).

When I didn't reply, I log on to Facebook a little while later and saw he reactivated the fake account he created specifically to talk to me (in the beginning, I refused to give him my number but told him I'd instant message him on fb instead). I'm still his only "friend" on this account and was very surprised to see the length he went to figure out what the scoop was. I haven't seen that account active in months (that I know of). No worries though, I made sure I deleted him before he had the chance to close the account again.

As tempting as it was to respond, I first remembered a few things. One: Engaging him would only piss on my parade, someway, somehow. I'm having a GREAT day and allowing myself to have a conversation with him would inevitably ruin it. Two: I can't remember the last time he ever cared whether or not he replied to me. In fact, if I initiated contact first, I would be scolded bc he was either too busy, tired, or with the W. Hell, there were times he went days without responding and it killed me. My feelings never mattered. It was the "MM Show" and I was merely a guest star. Three: Although I have been missing his company, I haven't been missing being shackled to my phone in anticipation of the next text/call I may or may not have gotten. I'm in control now and I refuse to give that up.

 

Although my two week journey out of this A has been a rough one, him breaking it off was the best thing that's happened to me since I met him. I wasn't strong enough to end things, but it turns out, I AM strong enough to stay the hell away from it. No matter how bad it might hurt or how much I miss him, I will never invite this toxic waste of time back into my clean lifestyle. Thank you for listening!

[MissBee]

AND I IGNORED HIM!!! :laugh:

 

Today I bought a new car. A few hours after I brought my new baby home, I receive a text from an unfamiliar number. I finally realized it was his work cell I forgot to block! It says, "I see you have a new SUV it looks really nice." (For those of you who don't know, he lives a few streets away...I have been house hunting ever since).

When I didn't reply, I log on to Facebook a little while later and saw he reactivated the fake account he created specifically to talk to me (in the beginning, I refused to give him my number but told him I'd instant message him on fb instead). I'm still his only "friend" on this account and was very surprised to see the length he went to figure out what the scoop was. I haven't seen that account active in months (that I know of). No worries though, I made sure I deleted him before he had the chance to close the account again.

As tempting as it was to respond, I first remembered a few things. One: Engaging him would only piss on my parade, someway, somehow. I'm having a GREAT day and allowing myself to have a conversation with him would inevitably ruin it. Two: I can't remember the last time he ever cared whether or not he replied to me. In fact, if I initiated contact first, I would be scolded bc he was either too busy, tired, or with the W. Hell, there were times he went days without responding and it killed me. My feelings never mattered. It was the "MM Show" and I was merely a guest star. Three: Although I have been missing his company, I haven't been missing being shackled to my phone in anticipation of the next text/call I may or may not have gotten. I'm in control now and I refuse to give that up.

 

Although my two week journey out of this A has been a rough one, him breaking it off was the best thing that's happened to me since I met him. I wasn't strong enough to end things, but it turns out, I AM strong enough to stay the hell away from it. No matter how bad it might hurt or how much I miss him, I will never invite this toxic waste of time back into my clean lifestyle. Thank you for listening!

 

 

 

Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!! *confetti*

 

Congrats on the new SUV! For a second I was confused like, you got a new car AND a new baby on the same day??? Is it MM's baby, did he ask about the SUV and not even ask how his baby is doing???? :laugh:

 

Anyway, it's so empowering when you have the strength to say "No thanks" and are no longer a slave to their every whim. It's just great when you're in control of your feelings and responses versus when your mood rises and sets on their actions. Each time you can exercise that amount of control, it gets better! Good for you! He sees you getting on with life and is scrambling to make sure he's still on your radar as he can't stand the thought of you legitimately moving on....let him eat his heart out as you drive around town ignoring him! Good luck on finding a new home in a neighborhood not near his!

[happy stillmore]

Good for you! It is nice to be free of the phone. I'm happy for you. Be free of that jerk!

[tryingto]

Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep it up!

[BrookeM]

 

Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!! *confetti*

 

Congrats on the new SUV! For a second I was confused like, you got a new car AND a new baby on the same day??? Is it MM's baby, did he ask about the SUV and not even ask how his baby is doing???? :laugh:

 

Hahaha that made me laugh out out!

[BrookeM]

 

 

Anyway, it's so empowering when you have the strength to say "No thanks" and are no longer a slave to their every whim. It's just great when you're in control of your feelings and responses versus when your mood rises and sets on their actions. Each time you can exercise that amount of control, it gets better! Good for you! He sees you getting on with life and is scrambling to make sure he's still on your radar as he can't stand the thought of you legitimately moving on....let him eat his heart out as you drive around town ignoring him! Good luck on finding a new home in a neighborhood not near his!

 

Yes, yes, and yes!!

[BrookeM]

Oooh it got better. Last night after I was leaving the gym, I noticed his car was parked RIGHT NEXT TO MINE (he wasn't in it). Which means he arrived after I did. Keep in mind, he has never set foot inside this gym the entire time I've known him. Nope. Not once. But he knows my gym schedule down to which days/hour I arrive (I have a consistent arrangement with my sitter - which believe me is about to change). Then right when I get home, I received a series of text messages from him:

 

*Hey saw u at the gym.

 

*Just want u to know that I'm sorry and we should have sat down and talked. I know you're hurt and I have not stopped thinking about you but it's just hard with the wife right now. I did not want this and I hope we can still be friends I enjoy your company and your personality. But know that I still feel for you and wish that I could still see u!

 

*Are u there or r u just going to ignore me because I'm an a**hole, or have you met somebody else. Just kidding! If its too hard to talk that's ok when ever you're ready

 

*Just name the place and time and I'm there

 

*

 

*Well I was hoping to hear from u but I understand and just know the past few months were amazing for me and I will never forget u. And when I told u I loved u I meant it but hope everything is well for u and I wish u happiness.

 

After the first few messages, I jumped on my phone and feverishly typed out how upset I felt, how the past few months were all about him, how he always disregarded my feelings after I was nothing but amazing to him, etc, etc. Then I stopped. Why would I entertain this? Why now would he listen to anything I have to say? My emotional, deep, reply would fall on deaf ears like it always did and the only thing he would take from it was that he got a response. Which would fuel the fire. So I deleted my four page message before I sent it and left it alone. I was so irritated at his arrogance for assuming how upset I was! He hasn't spoken to me so why would he assume that? Oh, because he's a self absorbed d*ck, that's why. I'm so finished with his drama, the W drama, all of the drama! No more of that. I deserve to be the star in someone's life, not make a cameo from time to time when he needs an ego boost that fits into his schedule. Once I start to make positive changes in my life and I begin to feel like myself again, some alarm goes off in his head that it's time to swoop in and dump all over it. Too bad for him he's not welcome back this time. The control I never knew I have over my emotions is too priceless to willing hand back to him. DONE!!

[BruisedBNBroken]

BrookeM, GOOD fOR You!!! You've done everything right and your strength is empowering. Keep it up! He's not done you know, he will probably continue to try to get some sort of response. It's killing him that you can actually go on with your life without him. Stay strong, keep up NC, change your schedule, find the new house. Great things are in store for you!

[wanting more]

Good for you!!!!

 

It's a great feeling when youre on your own and happy with it.

[Praying4Peace]

Oooh it got better. Last night after I was leaving the gym, I noticed his car was parked RIGHT NEXT TO MINE (he wasn't in it). Which means he arrived after I did. Keep in mind, he has never set foot inside this gym the entire time I've known him. Nope. Not once. But he knows my gym schedule down to which days/hour I arrive (I have a consistent arrangement with my sitter - which believe me is about to change). Then right when I get home, I received a series of text messages from him:

 

*Hey saw u at the gym.

 

*Just want u to know that I'm sorry and we should have sat down and talked. I know you're hurt and I have not stopped thinking about you but it's just hard with the wife right now. I did not want this and I hope we can still be friends I enjoy your company and your personality. But know that I still feel for you and wish that I could still see u!

 

*Are u there or r u just going to ignore me because I'm an a**hole, or have you met somebody else. Just kidding! If its too hard to talk that's ok when ever you're ready

 

*Just name the place and time and I'm there

 

*

 

*Well I was hoping to hear from u but I understand and just know the past few months were amazing for me and I will never forget u. And when I told u I loved u I meant it but hope everything is well for u and I wish u happiness.

 

After the first few messages, I jumped on my phone and feverishly typed out how upset I felt, how the past few months were all about him, how he always disregarded my feelings after I was nothing but amazing to him, etc, etc. Then I stopped. Why would I entertain this? Why now would he listen to anything I have to say? My emotional, deep, reply would fall on deaf ears like it always did and the only thing he would take from it was that he got a response. Which would fuel the fire. So I deleted my four page message before I sent it and left it alone. I was so irritated at his arrogance for assuming how upset I was! He hasn't spoken to me so why would he assume that? Oh, because he's a self absorbed d*ck, that's why. I'm so finished with his drama, the W drama, all of the drama! No more of that. I deserve to be the star in someone's life, not make a cameo from time to time when he needs an ego boost that fits into his schedule. Once I start to make positive changes in my life and I begin to feel like myself again, some alarm goes off in his head that it's time to swoop in and dump all over it. Too bad for him he's not welcome back this time. The control I never knew I have over my emotions is too priceless to willing hand back to him. DONE!!

 

Okay- do you see the stuff I bolded? He is DYING for you to tell him that the reason you are ignoring him is because....it. HURTS. too. much. to. talk....*gasp*. He wants to hear that your silence is because you are pining and mourning and too weak to be near him without having a meltdown or going into a lovestruck state. He can't take it that you might be okay not having his pathetic butt in your life. And yeah, he might be a good guy but he's acting pathetic and like a total loser. AND YOU AREN'T.

 

One more thing-----do you see how he said he's having a hard time with THE WIFE?? You mean YOUR WIFE???? He says it like she's 'the dog' or 'the car' or 'the boss' and is giving him trouble.

 

Poor her, she'll probably find out at some point and then be roped into staying with him and HB-ing and falling for his neediness but you don't have to be that person. Honestly....and I mean this but I never did before....it is SO much more freeing/liberating and good for your soul to be alone. You will find happiness with yourself and then with another.

 

Expect more texts.

 

I'm so happy you erased your long monologue. That's what he wants and needs to keep him warm at night. It also makes him feel like a stud and he'll go home to his wife who would be 'so sad' without him while he thinks of you 'so sad'. Honestly, he loves this drama.

 

I have to say- I have SO much respect for xMM's who have a true connection/friendship/relationship with their AP's but then let go and don't harrass.

[affairaddict]

I agree. I now see the more they harass you especially one message after an other, shows they want ego massaging and want validating.. its only been two weeks!! hes acting so desperate but if he genuinely cares about you he will either respect NO contact wishes and wish you well, or leave his wife and come for you.

 

at first I thought if they are not contacting you they don't care but this is not true. my ex mm broke contact after two months, but I was ill. ok he broke it, but I guess respected my wishes for two months.

 

I have since asked for NC and been VERY firm, and 90 percent I will say he will never contact me again unless he leaves her which I asked because I believe his feelings and care for me override his cake eating and validating I actually do. I will be back no doubt on the board to update this, anyway I am not comparing the cheaters as they are all NO GOOD for us, but I think some are worse than others.

 

stay strong, never ever reply, don't even read them x

[jphcbpa]

:pYou should have told him that is the SUV of your new man.

[BrookeM]

Okay- do you see the stuff I bolded? He is DYING for you to tell him that the reason you are ignoring him is because....it. HURTS. too. much. to. talk....*gasp*. He wants to hear that your silence is because you are pining and mourning and too weak to be near him without having a meltdown or going into a lovestruck state. He can't take it that you might be okay not having his pathetic butt in your life. And yeah, he might be a good guy but he's acting pathetic and like a total loser. AND YOU AREN'T.

 

One more thing-----do you see how he said he's having a hard time with THE WIFE?? You mean YOUR WIFE???? He says it like she's 'the dog' or 'the car' or 'the boss' and is giving him trouble.

 

Poor her, she'll probably find out at some point and then be roped into staying with him and HB-ing and falling for his neediness but you don't have to be that person. Honestly....and I mean this but I never did before....it is SO much more freeing/liberating and good for your soul to be alone. You will find happiness with yourself and then with another.

 

Expect more texts.

 

I'm so happy you erased your long monologue. That's what he wants and needs to keep him warm at night. It also makes him feel like a stud and he'll go home to his wife who would be 'so sad' without him while he thinks of you 'so sad'. Honestly, he loves this drama.

 

I have to say- I have SO much respect for xMM's who have a true connection/friendship/relationship with their AP's but then let go and don't harrass.

 

Loved everything you wrote, the bold caption has had me cracking up all day though!! He's like a little boy crying out for attention!

[BrookeM]

UPDATE: This evening I was in my driveway admiring my new SUV and polishing it up a bit when I see him roll by. As he drives by my house (he's about a good street or two away but in perfect viewing) he honks at me and drives off! Now granted, I'm not 100% sure it was him as there were other cars on the road at the time, but I'd place money on it. About 5 minutes later, I get this text from him:

 

*Hey didn't know if you got my text. So I guess this will be the last one I send if u want to talk u know what to do. U will always have a place in my heart

 

Funny how they hand out the heart-felt lines like candy when they sense we've had enough fun and games, huh? Too little, too late. I'm insulted he thinks sending a few simple text messages are all he has to do to get back on my good graces. I will never go back to being the masochistic I turned into while being apart of his world.

Edited July 24, 2013 by BrookeM
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