affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 'I care a lot for you and your wellbeing." Is this cliche? Do all MM say this? What does it even mean? To me I love you is a ten on the what you want to hear/ nicest things I care about you is like a 4. Sorry had a drink tonight, know it doesn't matter much... *sigh
C00kie Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 That in itself doesn't tell me much. Does he also tell you he loves you? What's his behaviour towards you like? What kind of things does he say and do? As for the drink...well, just chill
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Well we aren't together. I finished it again. This time for good. I was just recalling our convo before I decided to end it. Compared to some I read on here he treated me ok really but anyway not good enough. Thought he loved me , my gut feeling said so but he never said so. I have feelings and I care about you was my lot. I'm being pathetic and shouldn't be needing the validation.
MissBee Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 'I care a lot for you and your wellbeing." Is this cliche? Do all MM say this? What does it even mean? To me I love you is a ten on the what you want to hear/ nicest things I care about you is like a 4. Sorry had a drink tonight, know it doesn't matter much... *sigh At least he's being honest and not tossing around the word love, precisely because it's the magic leg-opener, forgiver-of-all-sins, and eternal-thread-of-hope-provider. Some married and single men know lots of women get giddy at ILYs, so use them unabashedly, regardless of veracity. This guy doesn't seem to be willing to go that far, and leaves it at a more truth, I care about your well-being, but I am not in love with you...i.e. please don't think this is more than what it is. 1
C00kie Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I'm being pathetic and shouldn't be needing the validation. You're not being pathetic. You're getting over it. It's normal to rethink everything. It'll pass. Wish you the best 1
Trimmer Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 'I care a lot for you and your wellbeing." Obviously I'm interpreting it out of any larger context, but this sounds like something one says as a consolation prize - a way of trying to offer the nicest possible thing you can bring yourself to say, while completely staying away from anything that might be misinterpreted as commitment or love. 3
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Yeah agree he wasn't that type- say anything to get in my pants, mainly because it was mostly EA. find it hard to believe in such an intense long EA /PA only one party "loves "though when you're both in the fog?
MissBee Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Yeah agree he wasn't that type- say anything to get in my pants, mainly because it was mostly EA. find it hard to believe in such an intense long EA /PA only one party "loves "though when you're both in the fog? Happens all the time...not just in affairs. Many relationships include one person being way more invested than the other and simply assuming the other person is on the same level as they are.
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Not what I've read about affairs compared to real relationships. What about the possibility of being scared to say it or it inappropriate and made it seem more real, haha straw clutching but possibilities
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Yeah inclined to agree with that. Yuck it's so embarrassing when you make a fool of yourself I was so in to him!
MissBee Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Not what I've read about affairs compared to real relationships. What about the possibility of being scared to say it or it inappropriate and made it seem more real, haha straw clutching but possibilities Please don't clutch at straws, it gets you nowhere. So many women (and men) refuse to take someone at their word who is expressing a lack of care. Instead, they are in denial and just start saying the person doesn't mean it, they're just scared, but secretly love them ....ahhh no. Take him at his word. Why would you even want someone scared to express their feelings?
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 I don't want him. I called it off and told him never to contact mr again.
2sure Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I dont toss around ILY unless I'm fully committed . My standard is " I'm very fond of you" 1
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 I don't know why I needed to ask tonight apart from feeling like a total dumb fool throughout the whole thing and throwing in the ILY (but cant do it anymore) at the end like a complete idiot. Wish I never told him that. I regret it so much
2sure Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Oh honey, regret for awhile but after that it for the life lesson it is. 3
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 It's only been two days I'm going to regret and berate its part of the healing and learning . I don't understand how I got to the point of declaring love
2sure Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Ah. See? Your WTF moment came sooner than it does for many! 1
Author affairaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Haha. Just over a year. But I tried before. Twice . Last time lasted two months. He came back to me after I said no more. And the affair fog was back but only for a week until I quickly came to my senses and told him its over and never contact me again unless his situation changes. I was pretty blunt, this time I believe he knows not to come back. I'm just thinking about the last things said. I think I confused obsessed with me for love... 1
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